AIBU to distance myself from my sister over her Trump views?

[Claireintheforest]

Hi all,

Just looking for other people's opinions.

My sister is a huge Maga supporter, thinks Trump can do no wrong whatsoever and cannot see any other view even though these have been debated with her amongst our family.

I really dislike her political views and unfortunately it's something she's very vocal about and forms part of her identity.

I believe myself to be liberal and believe that anybody who cannot see the damage that Trump is causing in this world, must be in some kind of cult. I know this will divide opinion and that's fine. For context, I'm not super close to my sister and she lives in a different part of the country. However, I dread her visits as I know everything has to have a political agenda and her views are right no matter what.

AIBU to begin to think I need to cut her out of my life as the stress and energy is not something I can tolerate anymore?

As you don't see her that often, do you really need to cut her out of your life? Next time she visits, if she starts talking about politics, tell her firmly that you're never going to agree and you don't want to have an endless debate so can you just agree to disagree and talk about something else? Then if she continues, just get up and leave. Hopefully she'll get the message and ease back on the Trump talk.

Are you American?
to be fair I lost friends over Brexit. People o thought I knew voted the other way and were pretty vocal about it and I was just unable to continue those friendships.
tough with a sister but T is so toxic I personally wouldn’t be able to deal with that.

I'm not sure I'd go hard NC, but I'd certainly never initiate contact and would anytime she contacted me, be strictly functional in my replies. No chat, no 'catch ups', no niceties.

And if it's ever mentioned, I'd be as matter of fact about it, as you have been above.

Are you in the US? Easier if you’re elsewhere as you can just say neither of you get a vote for or against him so let’s not fall out over something we have no influence over.

If you’re in the US… depends how deep her ridiculous views go. I’d actually find it harder to shut up if she were bigging up RFK jr than T in some ways. I wouldn’t see very much of her but I guess I could be civil if required.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, it's been very helpful to get opinions from outside the family. We're both UK based and she visits me for long weekends a couple of times a year. She loves all things Maga including RFK Jr. She's not the easiest person at the best of times but with this added on it's a real struggle

Is she called Liz Truss by any chance?

If she loves RFK she might want to see the video circulating on Twitter on his method of calculating percentages

i’d really struggle with this. I think the only way I could proceed if there was an agreement to not discuss politics at all. I have some Brexity friends and it’s ok as long as we both agree some topics are off limits

I wouldn’t go NC. I knew a few like this a couple of years ago. Most of them have been a lot quieter as trump has become progressively more erratic.

@Claireintheforest id say how much have you studyed trump eg think tank type reserach and university research and academic books vs how much of your views are based on newspaper analysis ?

If we only kept people in our lives who had actually the same opinions and thoughts as us, we’d be living in an echo chamber.
I have lots of friends with very opposing political views. I just have agreements with them that we don’t discuss politics if it’s going to get heated. Would she agree to that?

this, am finding that it seems to be the people who declare how liberal and accepting they are, always seem to be with the caveat “as long as you hold the same opinions I do”..

its like they want to be the dictator without saying it

To clarify, for those saying I only have people in my life with the same political views, that's not the case. I have various friends etc with differing views and we can hold an adult civil conversation. However, when it comes to my sister it's a whole other level. She's vocal and passionate about how she views the world which makes it difficult to avoid political talk

Can she just not visit. Maybe say it’s not convenient. We have relatives that we don’t visit, maybe just send a Christmas card. That’s what we do.

but thats part of how politics is, to debate and analysis etc ?

It's never a debate though, more of a monologue

in that case fair points

I don’t think you should ‘cut her out’ for her views per se, anymore than I think she should cut you out for your views, (if she were on some Maga equivalent of mumsnet asking the same question about her liberal sister!). You could just agree to disagree on politics and move on, but from what you say it’s the obsessive talking about it that’s the issue. As you don’t have to see her that often, could you just say let’s give the politics a rest next visit? And then repeat that if/each time she brings it up and don't engage in the discussion?

Other than her being an idiot, do you get along?
Unless she is awful to be around then maybe just steer clear of politics and see how it goes.

Trump won’t be around for ever, he’s not worth losing a sister over. I say that as someone who’s lost a daughter because of my gender critical views, even though we don’t talk about them!

Can't you just say it's a banned topic? Or will she object to that?

I think it's a terrible shame to fall out with anybody over politics. How old are you both? Give it 10 years and no one will ever remember.

What happens if one of you is seriously ill? Are you happy with no contact then?

I mean, you do you, but there's no way I'd fall out with somebody over something like this.

Thanks everyone for your input, it's been very helpful. I think the best way forward for me is to have a no politics zone while she's here and set my boundaries and hopefully she'll respect that. And we can still have some kind of relationship.

We're both in our early 60's. We don't have much in common and never have really but have always been amicable. She's absorbed in the online world of American politics so I find it hard to have conversations with her that don't lead back to her favourite subject....all roads lead to maga.

what about engaging but unengaging etc rather than direct rebuttles what about leading questions eg she makes a comment and then you say why do you think that etc