AIBU to think my landlord needs to leave my house now?

[Pleasecouldyougetoutofmyhouse]

My landlord lives directly opposite me, didn't know this until it was too late and everything was settled. Wasn't happy but it's been fine for five years.

I had a problem in my kitchen and he arranged a plumber come round to fix something. LL said he wanted to be there. But what I didn’t expect was LL coming over and then just… staying.

He has been in my kitchen chatting away with the plumber for over an hour. Not checking the work, not discussing anything urgent, just a full-on catch-up like it was a social visit. Meanwhile, I’m just here, trying to go about my day, feeling completely in the way in my own home. I have tried dropping hints, asking the plumber if he's done now, asking the LL if he needs to get back for his dinner, asking if I can come in and cook, and they've just said "yeah, by all means" and carried on standing there talking while I put something on to cook and LL has even had to audacity to say "ooh that smells a bit strong". They were standing in the way of my downstairs toilet and I had to go upstairs rather than wee next to them. Are they still going to be there when I am trying to eat dinner with my kids? Should I invite them to stay and eat????

AIBU to feel like this shouldn’t be happening, and they should both piss off out of my home now? Maybe go over to HIS home? DH is away and I feel really uncomfortable.

I moved away from the UK when I was 3, and only moved back five years ago so I don't know if this is culturally normal here.

Landlord isn't coming tonight. He texted me to say he can't make it and ask if we can manage the plumber ourselves. We're like "yes, of course we can...."

So all good. Plus DH is back now.

To answer some questions; I do think there's something wrong with my LL hanging about for an hour to talk to a plumber, yes. He was right in my way while trying to cook dinner, this is my home and I didn't invite him here to stay for an hour to socialise, I allowed him here to supervise a job. That job was over. He had no business hanging about and using my kitchen as a social hub. We're not friends. We have a business arrangement. He has his own house to socialise with his new plumber friends, or the local pub.
To answer the person (who I think has now deleted their comment) who said me bring up the fact that I am alone is "twisted and disgusting". No it isn't and you just sound melodramatic. I do feel uncomfortable and intimidated asking to men who are older than me, one of who owns my house, to leave, especially as, as I said I am unsure of UK culture around this.
Lastly, to answer the question about who initiated the conversation. It was the plumber. My house belonged to the LL's parents, and they were local celebrities of some kind in the 70s and 80s as they owned a well loved business. Plumber asked landlord about them and LL told him his and his parents entire life story, hence why he was bringing photographs next time. I may find out from plumber tonight if he actually wanted quite so much detail!

Thank you all for the supportive replies xx

Tell LL to please leave your home as you are trying to work. That you can't do work calls while they are having a conversation in the background.

That you only expected him to be there for a few minutes to check the plumber's work.

I hope he doesn't just let himself in at random. Next time he asks to come say it's not convenient.

Indeed.

Plus, if she didn't say anything, how was the LL to know he wasn't welcome?

I'm always astounded at the number of threads where grown adults expect other people to read their minds.

If if she had asked him to go and he didn't, that would be a different matter.

I have only ready your posts OP and I see the situation is resolved now but I just wanted to say, no this is NOT normal, it is YOUR home and well done for saying something to them even though you were nervous. I used to be a LL and I never stepped foot in my tenants house while they were living there. It was their home!

He is way out of order doing that. If it happens again you need to say breezily that you want your kitchen back and please can they chat elsewhere. You have every right to quiet enjoyment of your home.

It may be that the landlord has decided that an update is on the cards for your kitchen. This will probably be to your benefit. If you have had no issues in five years, this is a very small inconvenience.

I would also be grateful that the landlord has responded so promptly to sourcing a plumber. On Mum's Net people often complain about waiting months for the council or private landlords to do basic repairs. Give him the benefit of the doubt on this issue.

No, sorry, I don't see why him literally doing his job that I pay him to do means he gets to use my home as he pleases for an hour. Taking over my space that I needed for me and my family.
He was just standing there using my kitchen as somewhere to chat. For an hour.
Why does he gets to do this just because he's not crap at his job?

I agree with you OP, it IS intrusive. Very thoughtless of the landlord to stand around chatting in your kitchen for a whole hour, when there was no reason and he should have realised anyway that you probably needed to use it to prepare the evening meal.

I am sure he wasn't deliberately being difficult, but this behaviour is just a symptom of the underlying attitude that many landlords have (unfortunately) to the properties they own and the tenants. Yes landlords, it's your property, but you are accepting rent in exchange for the tenant to have it as their home during the tenancy. So you need to behave more like a visitor.

There are a lot of small time amateur landlords in the UK who think they can do as they please.

WTF?! Do you really speak to people like this in your day to day life? Surely not?

I agree 100% with OP. I hate having workpeople in my home, no matter how nice and polite they are. They are infringing upon my territory. While I am grateful for the work they do I dont want them to hang around to socialise as I have my own work to get on with. I assume they want to get on to the next job on their rota. I usually offer them tea/coffee when they arrive and then say something like "Well I'll leave you to get on with your job. Give me a shout when you finish or if you need anything" and then I go on the computer or whatever. Its firm, polite and businesslike. They know exactly where they stand.

Back in the days when I rented I always had a friend here when there was an inspection. We would be having coffee when the agent arrived which made it quite clear that they were intruding on my time and caught them on one foot. They were inevitably in and out in 5 minutes. There are ways of making people feel that they are intruding without being overtly rude. My gran was a past mistress of it.

I absolutely agree. The tenant/landlord relationship really needs to change to more of a customer/service provider dynamic. We pay them to do a job and provide a service. Just because the current situation is in their favour with more tenants needing homes than there are homes, that doesn't mean we should accept crappy service and be grateful for the scraps they throw.
We are paying them a huge amount of money each month, for most people it is half your household income or more. And yet I'm supposed to be "grateful" that he does his job properly??!! Do me a favour.

Treating someone like dirt who has done the job for years and is continuing to do so, for doing nothing than talking with nobody asking him to leave and not realising, isn't much better as an attitude.

Being happy to talk about their family might mean he didn't even notice it had been more than a shorter time. He might have known it was a bit longer, but didn't think someone he never bothers and didn't say he wasn't welcome would be treating him like a criminal or danger for just existing and finishing what they were saying.

Unless there is more you haven't said about them, and/or this situation, you are just being petty.

I agree.

A random cunt? Which charm school did you attend?

One hour in five years. You need to get a grip!

It's one hour too many. And it's the disrespect and the attitude that counts.

Do you rent? Would you let your landlord just stand about in your kitchen cos the rest of the time he leaves you in peace? It's not his house to spend an hour in for random socialising!

There are rules and laws! Renters have the right to quite enjoyment (or whatever the word is) of their home. They do not have to allow entry, even to the landlord, without prior permission which I'm sure is at least 24 hours. He can't just say "I'm coming in".

He had permission, he was overseeing a plumbing issue. It's 1 hour.
I had rented previously and I would have no issue with this.

But the job did not take an hour. He had permission to supervise the plumbing job. Job done, gtfo, not stand about reminiscing.

The main problem here was that you felt unable to just breezily but firmly say- righto, thanks for your help both, I'd like my kitchen back now please so would you mind chatting outside? Thankyou! Bye 👋
Thats all you needed to do. You're angry because you didn't feel able to assert yourself. It's your home and you had every right to ask them politely to leave.
Having a chat in the kitchen after a job is something many many people do and not something that should upset you- its not a crime, or disrespectful at all really. Just nip it in the bud then move on.

Plumber just left. Job complete.

He described the landlord as "sticky" and apologised for clogging up my kitchen for an hour. Said he was interested at first but then regretted asking him about his family because he couldn't get away lol.

Loving the new word "sticky" for a person that talks that you can't get away from lol