AIBU to think my landlord needs to leave my house now?

[Pleasecouldyougetoutofmyhouse]

My landlord lives directly opposite me, didn't know this until it was too late and everything was settled. Wasn't happy but it's been fine for five years.

I had a problem in my kitchen and he arranged a plumber come round to fix something. LL said he wanted to be there. But what I didn’t expect was LL coming over and then just… staying.

He has been in my kitchen chatting away with the plumber for over an hour. Not checking the work, not discussing anything urgent, just a full-on catch-up like it was a social visit. Meanwhile, I’m just here, trying to go about my day, feeling completely in the way in my own home. I have tried dropping hints, asking the plumber if he's done now, asking the LL if he needs to get back for his dinner, asking if I can come in and cook, and they've just said "yeah, by all means" and carried on standing there talking while I put something on to cook and LL has even had to audacity to say "ooh that smells a bit strong". They were standing in the way of my downstairs toilet and I had to go upstairs rather than wee next to them. Are they still going to be there when I am trying to eat dinner with my kids? Should I invite them to stay and eat????

AIBU to feel like this shouldn’t be happening, and they should both piss off out of my home now? Maybe go over to HIS home? DH is away and I feel really uncomfortable.

I moved away from the UK when I was 3, and only moved back five years ago so I don't know if this is culturally normal here.

I'm worried it won't be a one off though because they are coming back Monday and I heard the LL say he's bringing photographs to show him!!

No reason for him to be there there for an hour. Absolutely a biggie Your landlord has no right to be there, it’s your home. You shouldn’t have to pick any battles with your landlord.

So practice what to say over the weekend.

When they arrive ask how long the job is going to take and then say some thing like “Good. I’ll need the kitchen for lunch/dinner/baking at [whatever time that takes them to].”

When times up:
”Is the job done? Appreciate you have lots to talk about but could you socialize elsewhere? I’d really like my kitchen back now.”

If things have been fine for 5 years your landlord is just being a bit inconsiderate, he isn’t in need of your home for this, he just isn’t thinking. It isn’t going to have a massive impact on your relationship.

Yes, you need to work out what you want to say before they turn up today.
Something like "what exactly do you need to do, and how long will it take?" to the plumber.
"Great. In that case, can <plumber's name> pop over to yours after he's finished to catch up with you/ look at your photos?"
Explain that it's not convenient for you to host an extra visitor, for longer.

Did he come back?

My grandmother was a past mistress at getting rid of unwanted visitors or those who overstayed their welcome. She had a clock that did Westminster chimes and would use that as a prompt to tell them that their visit was over and fetch their coats. No one ever argued with my grandmother. She was only 5 fot 4 ins but very formidable.

I would say something like."I dont mean to be rude but I| must insist that you both leave now and continue your chat outside. Thank you for fixing the sink but i| have work to do." And hold open the kitchen door. If the plumber has any tools spread around begin to gather tfem togerther and hand him his kit or coat.

Alternately do you have a friend (perferably male) you can phone to come over to collect you for your "planned" trip to the shop/supermarket on monday. The arrival of a third party will break up the little scene and put pressure on them to go elsewhere to socialise.

Some time back (when I was renting) I was expecting a tradesperson and the agent said she was going to be present. I sent her a terse email saying "Im going to veto that. This is not a social visit and one strenger in my home is quite enough" She did not show up.

What I tend to say in this sort of situation is 'OK folks, I'm afraid I'm going to have to chuck you out now, as I've got things to be getting on with, and you're in my way', said with a big grin on my face I've always found it very effective, even with friends who have stayed a bit too late, and look like they may never go home.

Did you have any problems getting rid of them today OP?

How did it go today OP?

Ride this out .. wait for hubby to come home then go and speak to landlord together and say it felt completely inappropriate today and that he can't just stand about in your home .. you pay rent its your home .

.

You can say no to him coming over. You can ask him to leave.

But right now, you haven't done either and he hasn't done anything wrong. He let you know he would be sound for the work, you
accepted this.

Turning it into some "I'm alone" thing is twisted and pretty disgusting honestly, unless they have behaved in a way for that to become relevant.

God what a nightmare. Hope it went more smoothly today

When they arrive on Monday, suggest the LL leaves the plumber to get on with the job and then he can meet up with him at his house after to look at the photos.

So the minute the job is done, you walk into the kitchen and say ‘right gentlemen, well I won’t keep you as I’m sure you’re both as busy as I am and keen to get on’. If there’s any ‘hold on, I just want to show the plumber these photos’ then tell him that you’re quite sure the plumber won’t mind walking the 20 yards to the LL’s house so you can have your home back and that anyone still in the kitchen in the next five minutes is considered to have volunteered themselves to <enter unpleasant job here>. Big smile and usher them out like you would do a toddler who isn’t keen to move.

Ignore everything above, I completely overlooked the date!

The plumber rearranged to tomorrow evening x

How would you like if if some random cunt did this to you in your kitchen? It’s apps home. LL has NO right to be there

Woah. He's not random. He's the landlord talking to someone he hired to fix a problem.

If the LL and plumber are friends, they should have done the 10 minutes work then have the friendly chit-chat in the LL's house which is just across the road. Opposite even!

So many of the responses on this thread are mind blowing. I wouldn't care two hoots if my landlord did this, he could spend the day here talking to someone else and I would just go about my business as usual. Some people renting have to wait months for issues to be addressed, I wouldn't be moaning about something so trivial when it is being done in a timely manner.

However, as I have remarked before, I am the most laid back person in the world in comparison to many MNers.

You didn't say anything direct to him last time, so how is he supposed to know that it bothered you? It seems much more likely that he's popped in to say hello to his mate and ended up gabbing an hour away that him thinking he has a right to spend time if your property.

If you don't want him in your house, tell him.

So dh will be there as well ?

I'm a landlord and it's written in the contracts that ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY would I be able to access the property, and when I need to do an annual maintenance check then I or my agent needs to arrange it well in advance!

He's seriously taking the proverbial and I'd ask him to leave if I were you as you're expectimng visitors!

A cheery, ‘Right gents, if you’ve finished up in here can I move you out so I can get on with my day. See you on Monday, Mr Plumber. I don’t need you here, Mr Landlord. I can manage’.

Thank god for that! He probably didn’t want to waste his time listening to the owner of the house banging on about god only knows what.

Was it conversation they were having or was the LL driving it all?

Yes I agree. Five years and absolutely no problem. He spends some time chatting to the workman he organized and it's a disaster. I find it baffling.