to be cross with my neighbour ignoring our need for privacy.....

[BuggedBeyondBelief]

Our (newish) neighbour has had a deck installed in their garden. It's just over 2.6 feet off the ground but it means that the garden wall between us is now only 3.6 feet high on their side. The deck is very close to the house (about 2 metres away) and the neighbours have positioned a table and chairs right next to the wall. They can see directly into my kitchen window just a few feet away, and into my dining room. I can't really see into their house from my garden as I have to step down into my garden (as they used to have to do).

We would like a fence on top of the wall to make the barrier six feet on their side (we'd still see one of the couple next door as he's 6' 3''). They are objecting on the grounds that they would feel hemmed in. But the fence will not obstruct the sun, and their garden is wider than ours anyway. They will agree to a fence which would give us a barrier of just over five feet between us.

The neighbours are out in the garden, sat at the table all of the time. For me, I find it very difficult to even go out in the garden when they are there. I also find myself shutting the blind in my kitchen as I don't know when someone is going pop up out there.

To put this in context I believe that the (female) neigbour is p*ssed off because we have to cross their property to get rear access to ours, and whilst we don't use the access a lot, she has made it clear that she doesn't want us to use it at all. In a letter which she sent to me the day after my birthday when relatives visited and used the rear access....

AIBU in wanting total privacy? Is the neighbour being reasonable in not agreeing, despite the fact that they have created the issue by building a deck? (For the record - they didn't tell us about the deck and had it built whilst they were on holiday, making it difficult for us to complain about it).

SORRY FOR LONG POST!

It has no rail around it. I have found stuff on line about pp being needed if neighbour's privacy is comprised.

A word to duchesse. It's not the looking in I mind. It's the fact that they are sat against their side of our wall, fully visible from the waist up, close to our house. It means that you have to say hi at least when in your own garden, if not get into a full conversation. And you are never alone out there (unless you lock yourself in the shed). I appreciate we are in town, but aren't gardens for pretending that we are not, if just for a little while?

I am trying to be friendly and pleasant. It is hard when you think your neighbours are akward twunts.

Can you build a large earth rampart at the end of your garden, turf it, and then put the 6'6 fence on top of it? That might give you a total height of about 8'6, while still staying within legal reqiurements.

Update - we now get to the heart of the matter. They have offered to agree to a fence of 7 feet on our side (i.e. just six inches more than we can build legally and giving us just 4 and a half feet on their side) IF WE AGREE TO RESTRICT OUR USE OF THE REAR ACCESS.

That's what it is all about!!!

(I put a muslin curtain up at my kitchen and dining room windows - I think they get the message that we don't feel we have any privacy). I will put a pic of the view from my kitchen on my profile for anyone who wants a look).

Razor wire and dobermans are the way to go.
You are free to use your access as and when you need to.
Cheeky buggers!

bbb i think this is annoying them more than you id out the fenc up to 6.6 ft and use my rear access FAR more frequently

They can't ask you to restrict your use of the access or enforce such an agreement unless they wish to involve solictors etc. Why not just put up the 6ft fence and plant a fast growing tree or some bamboo? Life is too short for these disputes really.

...but yes, I probably would increase my use of the access .

My next door neighbours used tell their friends to come around the back through our garden when they were outside on their deck in the summer. It was a bit annoying but that is just the way it is when you live on a terrace.

I wouldn't restrict the access. In fact, I would make more use of it. If they wanted to address the access issue with you, they have gone about it totally the wrong way!

Put a fence up as high as you legally can. Plant fast growing climber against fence, which will grow above fence-line for more privacy.

Or:

Do you have enough room to plant bamboo on your side? B&Q are selling nice ornamental bamboo which is about 12ft high for £40, they grow approx 4ft wide - they can also be grown in pots. I would suggest this as the way forward.

I also like the nudist suggestion. You could simulate some al fresco sex as well to underline the need for privacy (or don't simulate if that's what you are into!)

Oh, and can you post a pic on your profile? Ideally with occupants in situ?

grrrrrr for you bbb...how completely annoying this type of thing is.

are they completely oblivious to the need for a certain level of privacy?

or just too thick to forsee what was going to happen once they'd sneakily put up their decking whilst you were away?

all the same , it seems that things are simply not as pleasant for you both in your garden but also actually inside ur house. unforgivable.

Thanks everyone. I am so glad you are behind me - sorry about the picture. I am writing under an alias and I think I've added the pic to existing profile - I'll look into that later.

Isn't it horrible? It's not our fault that they don't like their house with it's shared access but they are trying to make us change our behaviour and give up our legal rights. We would be landlocked whilst they'd get to use the access whenever they liked, if they had their way!! We were here for 6.5 years before them and in any case We don't use it very much - it's just our girls nipping next door but one once or twice a week in the summer, three tops. And they won't be doing that forever.

I have already spoken to a solicitor when we exchanged letters earlier in the year (don't forget they complained, in writing, the day after my birthday party which they were invited to). The solicitor says they haven't got a leg to stand on! They must be so mad (in both senses of the word!)

We are going to go for the 6.6 fence and gate and some fast growing climbers. I'm not so sure about bamboo. The gardens are small and I'm not so green fingered - I'd be afraid of killing it (it might not get enough sun where we'd need to put it.

Being a bit childish here but could you do something cheap and temporary to build a platform that you sit on and look into their house?

Or put up a "temporary" screen like a windbreaker?

so sorry to hear about your problems... just wanted to add a word of caution - you have to declare any problems you've had weith neighbours when you sell your house (and risk penalties if you fail to declare) - so if you can avoid too much discussion over this?

Not sure how you do that... planting a quick growing hedge (again not leylandii as that has certain restrictions....)

Of course - their suggested 7' fence would actually require planning permission. Stick up a 2m fence and grow something up it, contemplate fabric awning (just sail cloth or similar with eyelets so that you can attach it to rings) so that you can fix up something to give you privacy in the garden in addition to the higher fence - this is temporary (like an umbrella) so does not require planning consent. Have lots of smoky bbqs or an outdoor fire pit, lots of noisy activities, and please use the rear access a lot!

There was case locally here (north west) just recently about two neighbours with similar access issues and it went to court because they didn't want their neighbour crossing their property and they lost, leaving them facing legal bill of £60k.

Your right to use their access is set in stone and there's jack shit they can do about it without lots of legal work and your full agreement. Since you know it is such a bugbear of their I would be sorely temped to use it as frequently as possible. And then tell them you will of course stop, once you get that 7' fence in place. Turn the tables. They clearly hate the access issue more than you hate their decking and you can play dirty too.

deffo deffo use the access loads and get all yoiur friends to use it

I love the idea of the awning or sail cloth attatched to the fence

Also I love the idea of building a bank with earth and then putting a fence up of 6'6"

Good luck

Good luck. The lack of privacy would really get to me.

I did this to my neighbours when I added my deck, it brought the height of the fence down to 5' on my side. However, we attached willow screening to our side to ensure privacy (very cheap from Argos, and we attached some solar lights to it, it's quite nice actually). Also, we were not as close together as yours seems to be.
How about a couple of large containers full of not so well rotted manure just your side of the fence. Stink 'em out!

Our neighbours are a little like this (as in, much less keen on privacy in the garden than we are). We had negotiations over the height of our fence last year (we wanted 6ft, they wanted 4ft + 2ft trellis - in the end we have 5ft + 1ft trellis). I must say I would be tempted to go with the 5ft they are offering (or would they compromise on 5ft 6?) as then at least they would be screened when they are sitting down. I can see how much it must annoy you, but few things are worth falling out with your neighbours about.

Fast growing plants in pots sounds like a good idea - don't give an inch about the access. They've obviously done it deliberately; I can't get over how strange some people are! If I was them I'd love to have the fence high enough for a bit of privacy on both sides.

Can you get a climbing frame for your dc? or a trampoline?

I feel for you, it must be horrid. What I can't believe is that they don't want a higher fence to ensure their privacy especially if you're paying for it. Surely it would add to the value of their house?

i am loving the idea of a sail or other broghtly coloured fabric screen ! you could put attachments on your house and a post and put it up their and there would be sod allthe could do abut it.

make it as garish as possible !