AIBU to ask how to manage thinning, frizzy curly hair?

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I’m 45 and my hair is thin, dull and frizzy. I wash it with Ogx shampoo and conditioner and I spray it with Ogx heat protection spray afterwards … now … if I leave it to dry naturally it’s very curly and frizzy. If I straighten it it looks even thinner and makes me look old and haggered.

If I put curl cream in it it goes hard and crispy!! What on earth do I do? I bought some Aussie frizz off cream which does tame the frizz but it makes my hair Rock hard 😂

I’ll try and insert a picture of Jane Fallon who posted on Instagram about her hair which is very very similar to mine (although to be fair mine doesn’t stick up quite as much!)

I wash and condition mine, then towel dry. Then I put a little conditioner over my hands and run my fingers through my hair and leave it in. It doesn't go hard at all and keep the curls under control. I use Soley Organics Blaer Conditioner https://soleyorganics.com/products/blaer-conditioner but you could try a little of any conditioner and see what happens.

Thank you! I’ll try that ☺️

Minoxidil to thicken it and a 3 hour smoothing treatment at the hairdresser.

My hair's thinned in my 40s but I found leaning into the curls has made it look a whole lot better; the volume helps!

This is what works for me:

while still in the shower, apply curl cream to SOAKING WET hair and comb through - this makes the curls form
comb through some gel, still to soaking wet hair - this 'sets' the curls
scrunch the squelchy hair until it goes into ringlets
dry on a low-ish heat with a diffuser, touching the hair as little as possible (otherwise, frizz)
leave until completely dry, then scrunch out the crispiness.

if you have a look on Instagram there are quite a few curly hair specialists who walk you through it - eg, Curl Cymru, Manes by Mel, Voss the Curl Boss

Is that the foam or spray? Or is it tablets?

Can I ask which curl cream do you use? I've got Boots pink curl cream, but never thought of putting gel on top!

Minoxidil tablets. I'm 5 months in and I'm definitely seeing new growth.

I’d recommend booking in to see a curl specialist for a style (and cut if you need one). The hair products available for curly hair are vast, and each different curl type responds so differently to products. We have 4 different curl types in this house and all 4 need different care.

I’d say my hair is a similar curl pattern to that post. My hair works best with a mousse and a gel, then diffused.

Thank you - could I ask where you get them? Interested to give them a try - my hair is looking terrible these days. Thin and wispy. 😔

Hair & Me. I can DM you a code. I should warn you, there's quite a bit of shedding to start with.

After a lot of trial and error, I find Aveda Be Curly cream, followed by Aveda Confixor consistently gives me nicely defined curls. I also like Windle Lab Curl Cream, and Innersense gel; Elnett mousse is good for volume. But my hair's quite dry and very fine - thicker, coily hair would need totally different products. There's a chart that differentiates hair across a wavy-curly-coily spectrum, from 1a to 4c - lots on the internet about which products work best on which type.

That said, you definitely don't need as many products as influencers would like you to shell out on. It's as much about how you style it - have a look on IG/Youtube for some tutorials. Separating out a few basic sections, then brushing through with a Bouncecurl brush so the wet hair forms 'ribbons' that dry into thicker curls makes a huge difference to my frizz. So does applying products to soaking wet hair, not towel drying, and letting it dry completely before scrunching out the gel cast.

It sounds like a bit of a faff, but once you get into a routine, it's quicker than attempting to iron out the curls with a round brush and hairdryer.

You scrunch out the crunch! The rock hard stage is the cast that is helping to hold your curls, you can use a small bit of hair oil on your hands and scrunch or clap it out.

Justto add, I use the boucleme (sp) gel, either pink or yellow, fairly sparingly and I dont get a cast (hard stage), it leave me with beautifully soft curls and lasts for ages. I apply an oil on soaking wet hair, using praying hands to apply to the lengths and then I work the last bits into the roots, then the same with the get. Sometimes I use mousse or curl creme to help a bot qith frizz but I dont find them to be miracle cures and have started to accept some frizz - when I start to get a crown/lion's mane then I use diluted conditioner in a spray bottle with water to help keep.it at bay, and it works pretty well

Oh and I put it up in a buff (got a pack of 5 off amazon for a few quid) to dry to help loft the roots (put it on while bending over to help with that) and between washes I use a silk bonnet at night

Curlsmith girl here!

Like others, I’ve tried every brand. Curlsmith have a good quiz to help you get the right products. I never brush (except when I have to go to get a colour on). I wash with a Curlsmith shampoo, stick on an absolute shed load of conditioner, comb through but don’t rinse it out.

Then I twist using the Curlsmith product (can’t remember which one but it was the one recommended by the quiz), spray it with a finisher then get under the diffuser and wait until it’s about 75% dry then stop. Looks a bit ridiculous for 90 mins or so then it’s lovely.

I sleep with a silk bonnet. These shenanigans usually last five days.

If I’ve run out of Curlsmith, Lush’s curl cream is quite good

For me, I think the product brands matter much less than the method.

I use curl balm, then curl mousse, then gel on soaking wet hair. Then I section my hair, and use a curl define brush, using the edge of the brush to create the ‘ribbons’ of curls referred to above. Gently scrunch upward to remove most of the water, then diffuse until 95% dry. A couple of hours later, when it’s fully dry, I’ll use an oil or serum and scrunch out the hard cast.

I wear a silk bonnet every night, and the curls stay intact for 4-5 days. Steam from a daily shower and a little bit more oil scrunched in each morning, and it’s never frizzy.

I never ever leave it to air dry… that’d be an immediate path to a giant halo of frizz with my hair.

Wash with shampoo bar ( I like anything with Argan )
Condition with Argan
Wella Shockwaves curl mouse applied to soaking hair and allow to drip to ends. While still dripping wet apply tiny amount of leave in conditioner and scrunch.
Then squeeze excess water out with a towel and leave to dry naturally.

Works for me and I have post menopausal spiral curls which were becoming very brittle and easily breaking.

It makes a nice change to see someone with hair a bit more like mine, except it is currently bigger and wilder than the lady's in the picture 😂

After trying most of Boots on it, I've found that the best shampoo/conditioner for mine is the Garnier Ultimate Blends Marvellous Oils (Argan and Camellia). Sometimes I put Redken's All Soft Heavy Cream in it, as it's never crunchy with that, and it smells fabulous. Then it goes straight up in a towelling turban, and I look like I've escaped from Call the Midwife in the 1950's, which amuses me, at least. I can't put heat near mine, as that just seems to provoke it, and it never stays looking tame for long, unless a qualified hairdresser has beaten it into submission. Fortunately, I do not have a job where I need to look neat and tidy, so the state of the Untamed Mane doesn't matter.