To ask what you do with your evenings

[TooLittleTooLate2]

Just that really, what do you do with your evenings? I feel like I am setting a terrible example as always exhausted by the end of the day after working and looking after family. I am much more productive in the day but just don't feel motivated in the evening so end up faffing and wasting time. I live rurally, nearest town 20 minutes away, so nothing locally to do. How do others spend their evenings once the kids are in bed?!

I would love to have lots of spare time in the evenings! Spend most of it ferrying the dc about & Im up at 6am so try to be in bed for 10 pm

Very often I just mindlessly scroll/watch something/shower. On my better days I do more productive things. Using today as an example, after I put younger kids to bed I repotted my sunflowers and some geraniums as they were all in need of bigger pots. Then chatted to teen dc for a bit when they got back from football training, and now I’m going to watch something while continuing a paint by numbers I started a couple of weeks ago. And then when I go to bed I’ll read.

Write or sew or watch tv. Nothing particularly interesting.

Go for a run, soak in the bath, make tea (with wine if its the weekend, or almost the weekend 😀) watch tv, and then scroll on here for a bit. It's bliss.

Once they are in bed, meaning you have to stay in or are they older? I walk the dog or go to the gym, have a nice bath, read, craft or decorate if I’m in a phase.

Yep this is really interesting. My job is relentlessly stressful (and badly paid) so it does really take it out of me...

I do research online and get on with writing my next book! But I also like watching reality TV shows, so I might watch Masterchef on catchup. At bedtime I'll read for half a hour - tonight it's a Jimmy Perez mystery thriller set in the Orkney islands.

Cooking, pilates, watching tv, reading, talking to DH and DS. Occasionally out with friends but that's more weekends. Same for dinner out, pub, cinema, etc, more weekends than week nights.

You're not setting a bad example - I don't really understand what you mean by that?

You're tired, so you rest.

Pick something gentle to do - maybe a bit of craft.

It's ok to take life easy in stressful times.

They're not young, 12 and 15 so I can't use the small child card! They go up to their rooms about 8.30/9 to read, get to bed but it's the time between about 7-10 I waste and I would like them to see me using my time better and then the remaining time when they're in bed. One daughter does sport til late 2 nights a week so I am ferrying on those. There's really nowhere to go out easily (we do social stuff but usually only on weekends). It's really interesting to hear what others get up to. I think I see all the things I should be doing all around me so just evade by scrolling but I think I want to start planning more relaxing and fulfilling things and just park all the jobs after a certain time. Thanks everyone for sharing

And thank you for this. You're right. Rather than being productive I think I'd rather be relaxing but not just wasting my precious down time by scrolling or angsting

Scrolling isn't good for anyone, no.

Luckily sitting on your backside reading books is an excellent example to set!

By the time the kids are in bed I am done. I don’t know how anyone can muster up the energy for the gym or a class once it’s gone 7pm. Early evening I will read or scroll Tik Tok, eat a late dinner around 8pm then it’s series for the remainder of the night. Like you, I feel like I run around all day and need that downtime in an evening.

This evening after work I walked the dogs, went for a run, had a shower, ate, walked to the shop, helped dd to start packing for her school trip abroad next week, did a little bit of cross stitch now I'm in bed. My kids are late teens so most evenings need minimal input from me.

I get back from work around 17:30. Cook and sort out the kitchen or other chores, try to spend time with DC, whether playing a game of cards, helping with homework or watching something together, then settle down to work at the dining table for another few hours (primary school teacher) before rolling into bed. On repeat.

After work, I usually go and see my mum as she’s unwell and needs some support. Then I head home to make dinner for DS/DH, go to the gym, and either cook my own dinner afterward or, on some days, go straight to the gym from work before coming home to eat. I’ll do a bit of housework, relax with some TV or reading, then shower, dry hair and head to bed.

I have a hobby two evenings a week that me and DP go to. It's a musical based hobby so sometimes performances weekend evenings too. Other evenings I'll have a shower, maybe phone a friend, catch up with TV, and read :).

Interesting post. My DH has recently been asking what I'd like to do with the evening. This is once I've finished work at 8.30p., still have a dog to walk, clear kitchen etc (we do it together). I don't really understand his question! By the time we're done I'm ready for bed! Felt guilty for not having some exciting club /activities to go to.
I sing once a week but otherwise any free time is dog, kids, crotchet, bath or reading. If I have the energy, ring a friend.

Sleep. But then Im waiting for an iron transfusion.

Usually knitting. I go to a craft catch-up once a week and then fortnightly meet up with other crafting friends.

I want to find a good exercise evening class, maybe even something like Netball too.

The rest of the time I spend with my children and we either have something we can all watch together or play board games. Usually a combo of both. Husband fits in where he wants as he’s also busy with gym and running.

Prior to kids I would get ready for bed earlier and lose myself in a good book. I used to spend whole weekends lazing around reading. It was bliss (I didn’t know how to knit then).

Honestly just put your phone far out of reach. I hate my kids seeing me staring at my phone. I stick it in the kitchen and leave it there.

Doesn’t necessarily mean I play with the kids all night until they go to bed but I’ll sit and read a book while they’re doing their school books, playing etc. Might do some batch cooking while I’m already making dinner. Now the weathers nice sometimes we all go for a walk.

It’s the phones that are the biggest time wasting distraction ever.

I try to do all of the "active" things like cooking, sorting laundry, the dishwasher, shopping and gardening as soon as I come in from work. Once that's done, I can bathe, read, play the piano, find something to watch or knit, providing that I don't have my language lesson or aerial silks that night (though I do need time to wind down after those!).

I read, sometimes I watch TV, one evening a week I do an online course, one evening I volunteer.

This evening I’ve chaired a committee and then met good allies who’d been out to campaign for the locals.
we are all knackered!
tomorrow I’m seeing an orchestra and going dancing- I’m staying in Saturday to watch the football of might go to the opera (Matthew bourne Carmen) and or just stay home to bbq food- Sunday I’m watching the Michael Jackson biopic - Mon to Weds I’m working away. So I’ll be doing either late drinks or dinners or in my hotel for 830 - I gym in the morning, work in the day, sleep or social stuff in the evening.

I often wonder this and feel like I must be doing it wrong. I have a 4 year old who just won't fall asleep without me or before 9.30. I doomscroll while I ensure he's asleep then go downstairs, sort pets, kitchen and lunchbox then come back up and either fall straight asleep or do more doomscrolling then fall asleep.

I always promise myself in the day that I'll read or watch something after his bedtime but I'm so exhausted after the 2 hours lead in to child falling asleep that I never manage it. Does this get better?