AIBU to still take the booked break after my sister's split?

[Weddinghoildaywoos]

My sister was supposed to get married later this year but unfortunately the relationship has ended. She us absolutely heartbroken as you can imagine.

The wedding was due to take place in a hotel with some staying for the weekend etc. Due to the fact we have 3dc and one is considered seriously disabled. We with my sisters agreement booked a nice holiday let as staying in a hotel would've been a disaster.

It's already paid for in a nice location and we still planned on going down for a mini hoilday as leave etc already sorted.

My sister went mental and has now blocked me on everything.

Yeah, she is crazy. That is so awful, this can’t be the first time??

You probably won’t be the only ones with reservations that will still be using them. People spent money and don’t want to see it go to waste.

your sister is going to need to spend that weekend grieving. What other people do shouldn’t bother her.

Ask her, ‘I’m so sorry your relationship ended. As you can imagine, as we’ve paid in advance we’ll still be going away. We’d love it if you could join us, if not don’t worry. I’m here if you need me.

Totally reasonable, why should you lose the money. Your sus is probably not thinking straight and is taking it out on you.

No I would not be dictated to by a drama queen, but if you paid for it all why would she have had to give her blessing in the first place?

I don’t think sister is invited. No way she would want to go. Think the op family have booked it and want to go which is fair enough.

You aren’t being unreasonable I would probably do the same. However I can see your sister being a bit shocked and it would be a sensitive topic.

If you had said it cost a lot of money and other reasons around DC so you didn’t want to loose xc amount of money and are thinking of still going (something logical but empathetic) I don’t see any harm.

She’s going to be upset as it’s another reminder of what was meant to be. There may be other guests doing the same. I just wouldn’t plaster it all over social media when you do go. It might be a shock but hopefully once she’s calmed down she will come back around

Understandably she is upset that the relationship has ended and there will be no wedding, but does she really expect that everyone who has already paid for accommodation will stay home crying too? SIBVU. Hopefully she will come round and realise that she's being unfair. Don't change your plans.

I think it's understandable that she's sad about it, but completely unreasonable to be annoyed at people for going.

She sounds an absolute diva - first in dragging everyone on a destination wedding and then expecting everyone to be out of pocket and have disappointed kids when her relationship breaks down. Wonder why that happened, by the way.

I'd be surprised if you were the only ones who had already booked so she's potentially going to be blocking quite a few relatives and friends if she continues having a tantrum over this.

Of course you should go. The fact your sisters relationship has broken down doesn't mean your holiday company will magically refund you if you cancel. I would just ignore her personally and have a lovely break.

This.
but also why did you even tell her?? Just go on the holiday at the time, no need to wind her up now

Why did your sister need to agree that you booked a holiday let instead of staying in a hotel? Your sister is understandably upset her relationship has ended but why is she upset you are going on holiday?

Enjoy your holiday.

How close are you to your sister? Is it more that she’ll be alone on what should’ve been her wedding weekend?

She's reacting emotionally not logically, which is fair enough in her circumstances.

It's understandable that she'd he hurt by it nd that it would sting a little because it's a reminder of what the weekend should have been but her relationship breakdown is not your pain, you have spent a lot of money and have children to consider too.

You were already going to make a holiday out of it so you're not doing anything wrong.

Hopefully, she will reflect on it and realise she's being unreasonable but if not, there's not much you can do.

I wouldn’t have said anything about it. Just let the dust settle then tell her nearer the time. I think you’ve created some of this problem yourself OP, I’m afraid.

I'd probably have done it quietly, or waited as along as possible after the split to tell her, but I'd have had the holiday too.

She obviously in a bad place and acting irrationally (is that normal for her?), so I'd try to have some sympathy and hope it blows over.

Your sister didnt need to know/be involved in this conversation. Your going on a family holiday thats it. Shes probably very raw so probably best to drop her a message saying your here if she needs to talk and leave her for now

She’s still obviously upset about the wedding situation, and maybe sees that you going on this break is tantamount to agreeing with the enemy. However, there’s no reason for you to lose out.

you’re taking the P out of her going on the break (which will then cost you more money when you get there and to travel there so it’s not really “already paid for” is it?) it should be her wedding weekend she’ll be feeling terrible, maybe be around to support your sister? don’t throw disability in to justify it 🤣

It’s sad for your sister sure but you have DC to entertain and care for so yes you should still go away on the family break.