AIBU to worry my sister is moving too fast with children involved?

[Ernestinepine]

DSIS and j have just fallen out. She has started seeing a new guy about a month ago. Already she has met his kids (and stayed at his with them there), and he has stayed at hers with his kids, and her kids.

She is angry at me because I’m pissing on her parade apparently and jealous she’s in a new relationship. (I’m not; my wife and I have been in a civil partnership for ten years)

She’s a few years out of an abusive relationship: and it was the same story: get together: move in together and create a new family with all the kids within the space of a couple of months. Of course; they split a few weeks down the line.

i don’t want to fall out with her: I love my nieces too much, and want to see them: and I don’t want to piss on her parade. But at the same time: it’s horrible to watch

You aren’t being unreasonable to be worried and I am not surprised your concerns are falling on deaf ears. I would be mindful of pushing her away though, your nieces/nephews need someone rational keeping an eye on them.

@Ernestinepine
You aren’t wrong in how you feel. I don’t know though if someone like your sister, who has done this before, and not learnt from the experience, would benefit in any way from you pointing things out.
She is probably just going to live her life the way she wants to, and even if she admits she’s made bad choices in the past, she will find a justification as to why “this time” it’s different.

It sounds like a bit of a ca crash but you pointing it out is not helping your relationship. Maybe best to say nothing and let her crack on.

Yes i would be concerned bit it appears it is wrong to ever mention women are never to be held accountable for their decisions, it is not new parents putting themselves before children

Hopefully she waked up herself soon but sounds like ahe would just move on to the next one but no one has the answers but her

My sister is like this and nothing I have said over the years makes any difference I’m afraid !

It’s the girls that I’m worried about. She falls head over heels with new men and it’s the romance of the century. Then the girls get attached. Or supposing he’s an abuser?