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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my daughter’s harassment complaint was handled badly?

8 replies

Glitterballofdreams · Today 20:02

My daughter is 18 and works in a mostly male industry/environment. She started this job two months ago, and has received rude comments from one male in particular since the beginning. He is often caught gazing at her chest.
Today he made another remark and smirked whilst eyeing up her chest again.

My daughter’s line manager encouraged her to report this to the lead manager, which she did.

Before the shift ended, the manager called her in for a discussion. And basically said it will be her word against the male involved. And that it wouldn’t be nice taking it further. And that he believes the male will retire (yeah he’s that old - gross) if allegations are made. He also said that he has addressed it with the male, and told him to “walk around with blinkers on and not to look at her chest”.

AIBU to think that this matter has not been dealt with correctly?! I am raging!

OP posts:
letmebetheone · Today 20:05

Has she any witnesses to this mans behaviour? If not then it will be her word against his. What exactly do you want them to do?

TheParlimentsHeartTroubleNorthernSoul · Today 20:05

Filthy dinosaur bastard needs brought into this century.
She's an 18 yr old girl FFS.

Glitterballofdreams · Today 20:07

letmebetheone · Today 20:05

Has she any witnesses to this mans behaviour? If not then it will be her word against his. What exactly do you want them to do?

Unfortunately he only does it when they are alone, however he has been witnessed making rude derogatory sexual remarks about female clients.
I think the fact that the manager told him to “put blinkers on” means he knows exactly what this male is capable of! I just do not think that it has been handled correctly.

OP posts:
TheParlimentsHeartTroubleNorthernSoul · Today 20:08

letmebetheone · Today 20:05

Has she any witnesses to this mans behaviour? If not then it will be her word against his. What exactly do you want them to do?

Aye because 18 yr olds make accusations like this all the time
I'll hazard a guess this fucker has been doing this his whole working life.
And the blinkers bit is taking the piss.

Nicknacky · Today 20:08

Whilst I don’t agree with the managers verbal response, what resolution were you hoping for? Sacked?

Glitterballofdreams · Today 20:11

No we did not expect dismissal. However the way the manager has handled it has been most unprofessional. You simply wouldn’t get away with it in most corporations

OP posts:
TheParlimentsHeartTroubleNorthernSoul · Today 20:15

Glitterballofdreams · Today 20:11

No we did not expect dismissal. However the way the manager has handled it has been most unprofessional. You simply wouldn’t get away with it in most corporations

I've worked with men like that and I did pull them up and say would you like if someone spoke like that to (insert any female relative,wife etc)
Aye but that's different
No it isn't.
It's not often I feel the need to say it I'm male and can't be done with these types of men.

Random321 · Today 20:41

Manager sounds absolutely rubbish.

Next time he says something to her, she should reply "this is the third inappropriate comment you've made, today, on the 15th and the 4th. I suggest you find other ways of indulging your inappropriate creep midlife crisis, if you don't want to have to explain it to HR"

Every time he says something inappropriate she should email herself so she a record of the detail, time and date. Then take it to HR if he doesn't stop.

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