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DH's BIG birthday

4 replies

amiwrong · 20/06/2008 08:30

2 weeks ago DH celebrated a 'big' birthday and I am really sad for him. My family made a big fuss of him (mind you they do that anyway, i'm sure that he is loved more than me, sob sob ) but his own barely acknowledged the event. His sister chucked a tenner in a card because 'she couldn't be bothered to buy him anything' and gave him a 'normal' card - this doesn't suprise me as she likes to be centre of attention and this time she wasn't. FIL again a 'normal' card but no gift. Now whilst I realise it isn't about material things and gifts aren't everything I cannot understand what he is playing at. Every other birthday he gets a gift, i recieved a cd for my birthday this year so it isn't a case that he has stopped buying. If he doesn't know what to buy he usually pops a chq or vouchers in a card but nothing and no mention either. We had a gathering of close friends and family and they were quite happy to turn up, feed their faces, drink us dry and then bugger off leaving us and my family to do all the work (as usual)but didn't even wish him a happy birthday! Our friends (thank goodness) made a big fuss of him, which made his day (balloons, crap in cards that i am still finding on the carpet, ad in paper etc). Dh is generally treated badly against his sister, she is a spoilt brat who gets what ever she wants from daddy including attention, help etc. He only contacts us when he wants something and a few months back we were in a temporary financial pickle and asked to borrow £100, he said no he hadn't any money, yet bought SIL a car for £1000 2 days later. I cannot understand it, DH is one of the nicest guys you could meet and he gets treated like this. So 2 weeks on, DH is still visably upset by this and it is breaking my heart that a milestone in his life has been spoilt by these people. aibu or are they??

OP posts:
amiwrong · 20/06/2008 08:31

Sorry for the rant - feel better for it though!

OP posts:
Eve34 · 20/06/2008 08:43

So sorry the family feel they can treat them both so differently. It is strange isn't it. My family treat us all the same. DP family clearly favour his lazy sister, he get's nothing at christmas or birthdays, he has just turned 24, so it isn't like he has had a few if you know what I mean.
DP says it has always been like that. I think it is terrible and feel really hurt on his behalf.
There is part of me that feels we should confront them, but it isn't worth the hassle. Don't think it would change anything.

amiwrong · 20/06/2008 08:59

Exactly, I am so cross I feel like telling them just what I think but it won't do DH any favours and of course I will be the one in the wrong! Glad to know someone understands how I feel, all our friends are lucky to have normal family relationships so feel like I'm talking to a brick wall when I have a grump!

OP posts:
Eve34 · 22/06/2008 20:02

It isn't worth teh trouble, I know it will just back fire on us, so smile do what you have too, no more and just keep the contact to a mimimum. I find that works.

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