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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find surrogacy and IVF hashtags odd on a prom post?

11 replies

YankSplaining · Yesterday 12:57

Various celebrities involved to this one, so here’s the rundown of who’s who.

Matt Bomer is an actor who’s probably most famous for starring in White Collar. He’s married to Simon Hall and they have a son named Walker. Walker just went to his high school’s prom with a girl named Ava. Ava is the daughter of Bryan Lourd - who, before coming out of the closet, fathered actress Billie Lourd with the late Carrie Fisher - and Bruce Bozzi.

Bruce Bozzi posted a picture on Instagram of Walker and Ava in their prom outfits, posing with the four dads. It’s a cute picture and everyone looks happy. The weird part, in my mind, is that he added #surrogacy and #ivf hashtags - Walker and Ava having both been conceived through those methods.

I was conceived through IUI, and if my parents had ever shared a prom picture of me referencing that, I would have been like, “It’s my prom - why are we talking about how I was conceived?!” It seems out of place given the occasion. It’s not an event for families with gay parents, or a post about a new baby who was conceived through surrogacy and IVF. It’s two high schoolers, who happen to have both been conceived through surrogacy and IVF 18+ years ago, going to a prom.

AIBU?

https://www.eonline.com/news/1431078/matt-bomers-son-walker-billie-lourds-sister-ava-bozzi-attend-prom

OP posts:
Mistymaglets · Yesterday 13:02

Yep it's weird.
Nothing to do with the prom.
If everyone followed their logic hashtagging about how conception happened the prom fotos would be awash with #quickiewhendrunk

YankSplaining · Yesterday 13:06

Mistymaglets · Yesterday 13:02

Yep it's weird.
Nothing to do with the prom.
If everyone followed their logic hashtagging about how conception happened the prom fotos would be awash with #quickiewhendrunk

My kids would be #AmourousChristmasEve and #HipsUpTryingForSecondBaby. 😂

OP posts:
mindutopia · Yesterday 13:22

I mean, it’s a bit weird. But would you be as offended if these weren’t gay men, but heterosexual couples who struggled to conceive or who’s child joined their family through adoption and they did a #adopted? Could it not be a way to address the 7000 questions they probably get about how they have a child? I bet people in general are incredibly rude and direct asking about where their children ‘came from’ and after like 18 years, they’re probably a bit fed up with all the snarky comments they get.

YankSplaining · Yesterday 13:44

mindutopia · Yesterday 13:22

I mean, it’s a bit weird. But would you be as offended if these weren’t gay men, but heterosexual couples who struggled to conceive or who’s child joined their family through adoption and they did a #adopted? Could it not be a way to address the 7000 questions they probably get about how they have a child? I bet people in general are incredibly rude and direct asking about where their children ‘came from’ and after like 18 years, they’re probably a bit fed up with all the snarky comments they get.

Finding it weird doesn’t mean I’m “offended.” You find it a bit weird - are you a bit offended?

As I said in my original post, I was conceived through nontraditional means, and I would have thought it was strange if my parents referenced that while sharing a prom picture. If this was a picture of an adopted 18-year-old going to the prom, yeah, I’d think it was weird to add an #adopted hashtag. (Makes me think of Gene Hackman’s character in The Royal Tenenbaums, who’s always introducing his daughter as, “This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum.”)

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · Yesterday 23:55

Weird, attention seeking behaviour. In 2026, noone is even questioning this and if they are, they'd sooner check Google than wait for a response from the celebrities. Wholly unnecessary.

Mumofteenandtween · Today 00:10

It’s very “all about me” for an event that involves two teenagers. I have a dd who will be going to prom in a couple of months. It is her prom not mine so I will not be commenting on how she was conceived, born or anything else other than “looking fabulous” and “so proud of her”.

(If she achieves her childhood ambition I might comment on her birth but only because she was a “stargazer baby” and she used to want to be an astronaut.)

DomesticArchaeologist · Today 00:14

Agreed @Mumofteenandtween.

It seems incredibly strange to me. They’re not babies or even little kids anymore. When does it end?

YankSplaining · Today 00:30

Ugh, typo - Simon Halls, not Simon Hall.

OP posts:
CaragianettE · Today 00:31

There’s still a lot of stigma attached to surrogacy in some quarters, including Mumsnet. Maybe he’s trying to help familiarise it for people? Plus connect with other people who had their children through those means? I dunno, it doesn’t particularly seem odd to me, any more than any other hashtags.

A lot of America is still wildly homophobic. I wonder if there’s a bit of a defensive element of ‘look, even non-traditional families who have children through non-traditional means can produce heterosexual kids who do the very traditional thing of going to prom together as an opposite-sex couple, see we’re a good thing really!’

HelenaWaiting · Today 00:43

I don't see the problem. When I posted my youngest's prom picture I made sure to include the hashtag #drunkenlasthurrahbeforedumpinghim

BruceAndNosh · Today 00:49

#ireallydontknowhowthishappenedasiwasonthepill

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