Page 2 | AIBU to ask my husband to consider moving for our son?

ByRedBiscuit · 2026-04-21T13:23:26+00:00

to ask husband to consider moving to a family orientated estate with friends for our son to play with? We live on a street with elderly people when we moved here I said I would give it a try and if I didn’t feel settled we should consider moving we have been here over 18 months and I still feel the same but he completely refuses saying he has done work on the house and is not prepared and son will have to be happy where he is.

Tryagain26 · 21/04/2026 18:09

ByRedBiscuit · 21/04/2026 15:48

I’ve wrote down the pros and cons he just shouts screams n swears when I try to discuss, he is controlling and has been aggressive. He controls most of the spending, he pressured me into moving away from family. I’m a fool.

That is a very different story.
You don't want to move so your child can make friends you want to be able to make your own decisions which is perfectly reasonable.
It sounds as though you are being subjected to coercive control .

Feelingworried26 · 21/04/2026 18:11

ilovesooty · 21/04/2026 15:53

In that case you have a bigger problem than your son not living near other children.

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Yes, this is very serious OP. Please get some help.

Nofeckingway · 21/04/2026 18:13

Do you think the move was an attempt to isolate you ? You are thinking of the kids but what about yourself. Your comment about him shouting and yelling is more concerning.

WallaceinAnderland · 21/04/2026 20:40

ByRedBiscuit · 21/04/2026 15:48

I’ve wrote down the pros and cons he just shouts screams n swears when I try to discuss, he is controlling and has been aggressive. He controls most of the spending, he pressured me into moving away from family. I’m a fool.

He's not going to agree to move so forget about that. Focus in removing yourself from the abusive relationship. You refer to him as your husband, are you actually married?

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/04/2026 20:48

Oh god no.

WaryCrow · 21/04/2026 20:57

That’s men for you. We make sacrifices for them again and again, ask them to do one thing for their own fucking kids and they really can’t be arsed.

I hope the birth rate continues to go down, these male apes do not deserve the lives we make for them.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/04/2026 21:19

ByRedBiscuit · 21/04/2026 15:48

I’ve wrote down the pros and cons he just shouts screams n swears when I try to discuss, he is controlling and has been aggressive. He controls most of the spending, he pressured me into moving away from family. I’m a fool.

I’d try and move there without him then

Original poster

ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:07

Thank you for all your replies yes I do have bigger issues to deal with but I just would like my kid to be able to play out and have fun with other kids after school and on a weekend and off devices and have what I would consider a fun and happy childhood, he is effectively an only child! I think it’s good and important for kids to be able to have this my kids happiness is everything to me and yes he does already go to clubs for social time and I arrange play dates for him all the time. Good on the poster who said she moved herself and daughter to a village with a park nearby as she didn’t ex t her to be isolated my son had no siblings his age to play with it’s extremely selfish of husband to not consider his and only think of himself

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Original poster

ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:08

WaryCrow · 21/04/2026 20:57

That’s men for you. We make sacrifices for them again and again, ask them to do one thing for their own fucking kids and they really can’t be arsed.

I hope the birth rate continues to go down, these male apes do not deserve the lives we make for them.

Thank you for this x

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Original poster

ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:09

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/04/2026 21:19

I’d try and move there without him then

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Think I will be thank you x

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ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:10

WallaceinAnderland · 21/04/2026 20:40

He's not going to agree to move so forget about that. Focus in removing yourself from the abusive relationship. You refer to him as your husband, are you actually married?

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Yes we’re married

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ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:11

Nofeckingway · 21/04/2026 18:13

Do you think the move was an attempt to isolate you ? You are thinking of the kids but what about yourself. Your comment about him shouting and yelling is more concerning.

Yes probably he always wants his own way

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Original poster

ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:11

Tryagain26 · 21/04/2026 18:09

That is a very different story.
You don't want to move so your child can make friends you want to be able to make your own decisions which is perfectly reasonable.
It sounds as though you are being subjected to coercive control .

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Yes probably I’m not sure where to begin if I’m honest as regards getting out

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ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:13

WhatAMarvelousTune · 21/04/2026 14:46

I assume you mean still in the same general area ie you’re not moving schools?

It seems a bit of a waste of money in fees and stamp duty to move for this reason tbh

No not moving him to another school he is settled where he is

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ByRedBiscuit · Today 16:16

Periperi2025 · 21/04/2026 14:49

"kids" plural. OP only has the one child, so i don't think it is comparable.
I've recently divorced and used the opportunity to move from a remote rural location to a large village with a play park next to the house as i have an only child and could see that the isolation was already becoming an issue for her.
She is only 8, so we are working together on learning the walking routes between our house and various friends houses so that in a few years she has a degree independence that she can never have at her dad's house.

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Thank you for your positive reply I bet you and your daughter will be much happier with potential for her to have friends to play with if she wants and reduce her isolation and be independent as she gets older can I ask if that was one of the reasons you split up due to disagreement on where to live?

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bittertwisted · Today 18:00

Thingcanonlygetbetter · 21/04/2026 14:43

Even thinking back to that time has given me a shudder today. I could have everyone settled and then next thing the doorbell would go. Then there would be the doorbell going twenty minutes later with some child telling me that my child had done something. Then the house would be full of other people’s kids needing drinks and snacks. I was living on my last nerve! I am 13 years out of it! 🎉

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To me this sounds wonderful, exactly the childhood I wanted my children to have. To some degree they did get it. Why would I need to control my children ?

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ByRedBiscuit · Today 20:45

bittertwisted · Today 18:00

To me this sounds wonderful, exactly the childhood I wanted my children to have. To some degree they did get it. Why would I need to control my children ?

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Exactly why wouldn’t you want your kids to have fun n be a little bit feral now and again!

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