To not go to brothers house again if dog is loose?

[Probablyshouldntsay]

Not a whole dog bashing thread ❤️
Im a huge animal lover and fine with the rest of the family dogs, all on the medium to large size.
I had a bit of an unnerving experience with my brothers dog on Saturday when visiting.
I don’t have much personal knowledge of dogs as I’ve never owned one. Whenever I’ve seen dog in the past he’s always been happy and wavy but on this occasion his dog came to sit next to me on the sofa, then began leaning very heavily and stepping its foot on me. To the extent that dog has essentially pinned me really hard.
The dog is a very large overweight boxer, and when it was looking down at me it was showing the whites of its eyes, not wagging tail or asking for a fuss if that makes sense.
I tried to gently, the more forcefully say down, get down etc and tried to gently push but it just would not budge.
Im not explaining very well but I genuinely felt like it was going to attack :(
After a couple more seconds I shouted my brothers name and he came quickly and hauled the dog off and straight into the garden.

He loves the dog, but to be honest it isn’t walked enough or very trained. Brother does wfh so it always has company. It has never nipped or been aggressive as far as I know.
Would it be an overreaction to ask to meet without the dog in future? I’ve never had a sudden gut feeling like that around an animal before.

You are perfectly within reason to ask him to out the dog in the garden or another room when you call over, but he's also within reason to say no its the dogs house (given nothing actually happened).

Did you not tell your brother you got a fright?

100% with you @Probablyshouldntsay My DH's brother (who now lives 5000 miles away thankfully) had a bloody annoying, overbouncy, hyperactive cocker spaniel about 20-22 years ago, and he kept continually jumping up my 2 DC when they were little/primary school age, and barking in their face. (The dog not the brother!) He (the dog) was rough, and strong, and a bit bitey, and would knock them over - and he barked CONSTANTLY!

After a few times I said to DH, we are NOT going there again unless he puts the bloody thing outside, or in the conservatory. His brother refused, so I refused to go and wouldn't let our DC go either. It helped that they didn't want to go! They were relieved. Nothing worse than bloody awful dog owners!

Yeah, he rang once I’d gotten home to say sorry things got a bit hectic.
I really don’t want to hurt his feelings or cause any tension- we get on really well, and like you said nothing happens really.
I suppose just posting to see if any dog behaviour experts could help me understand what went wrong here.
As I said, we’ve a large family and all of them have dogs but it’s the first ‘oh shit’ moment I’ve experienced with one of them

So the dog was essentially standing on you?
Or sat leaning against you with his leg/paw on you as he was sitting/leaning?

Also confused on how it was looking down at you?
(not being an arse just trying to figure out the exact positioning)

It sounds like you were in his seat and he was trying to bully you off. An attack is unlikely, but the body language you describe would also have made me uncomfortable.

If it happens again, stand up, slowly, and firmly but calmly direct the dog down onto the floor, verbally. Do not get physical with a dog you are unsure of.

I have a dog and just a suggestion he may have picked up on your 'vibe' and sensed your nervousness. He may have picked up you were not relaxed and therefore may have felt threatened, not that it excuses it.

I would just tell my brother that I’m scared of his dog now and please could he put it outside?

if he said it’s the dog’s house, and refused, well then I would know where his priorities lie!

could he go to your house instead to see you (without dog)?

It doesn't sound like your brother would be offended though. He put the dog out straight away, and called you afterwards. I think a quick text before you call over next time saying "Any chance you can put the dog outside" would be met warmly.

Obviously that's on the presumption you are only going over for a few hours and not staying overnight etc.

This. Dogs pick up on your feelings remarkably quickly.

Without actually seeing the body language no one can tell you. Boxers are leaners and it was likely just leaning on you. If it’s never growled or snapped and is of a good age then it’s unlikely to have been aggression. If put in another room or garden would the dog not bark or bash the door? Our dogs wouldn’t tolerate being locked out. If you’re very nervous have him come to your house.

Definitely ask your brother, if that’s your preference. I wasn’t there so can’t be sure, but that sounds like a dog leaning scenario rather than a dog aggression scenario. Bad manners rather than risky.
A friend’s dog announces he’s comfortable you by sitting on your feet and leaning into you. When the dog is a chunk, it’s a significant thing!

The eye thing- some dogs just have floppy saggy eye lids, especially if overweight.

However, you weren’t comfortable and that’s all that matters. I’d probably be ok with visiting as long as your brother doesn’t leave the room, so he can make sure the dog doesn’t bother you.

Best case scenario, bad manners on the dog’s part. If you are uncomfortable then it needs addressing.

Thanks all, I feel a bit better. To explain I’m was curled up with my feet under me, leaning against the arm of the chair and the dog has squished up next to me and then sort of bit by bit gone further and further before standing on me, so I was looking up at it swim.
I think it must weigh 9/10 stone so started to really get a bit intense.
Rest of the family dogs are more lie on their backs begging for tummy rub types so I think I might have misread its body language

Could he be picking up on how you feel? Or could you be poorly and smell different somehow? Our old dog was very laid back and chill and quite good with visitors. We had a visitor once and he just sat on the sofa next to him and just stared. He got closer and closer. I have never seen him like this before or since I got him off the sofa and put him out but this person had an epileptic fit the next day (not at our house). I’m not saying that will happen to you but perhaps something smelled different.

A dog leaning on you is generally a sign of affection but without being there it’s hard say for certain

Not unreasonable. You need to feel safe. Trust that survival instinct we have when something is telling us it's not right. Dogs are animals at the end of the day that can turn. I've known it even with a Labrador which are supposed to be friendly. I think it pays to be wary because you never know.

ALWAYS trust your gut instinct! It’s there for a good reason

Have you spoken to your brother and asked him about this? Ultimately you’re within your rights to say you don’t want to be in a house with a dog you’re afraid of. Your brother is within his rights to say his dog his house. Which would be a good way to create a rift that doesn’t need to happen. Speak to him, tell him you were uncomfortable, ask if he knows why the dog behaved like this and how it can be avoided when you next visit. He may offer to move dog to a different room (in our house we would put dog in kitchen for a short visit but otherwise we’d suggest meeting up elsewhere)

It's a boxer, it was leaning into you and sharing your space, it's affection not aggression.

as someone fjsdcssud, ask your brother HK stay in the sane room & keep an eye on your his dogs behaviour until you feel comfortable.

it's not fair to put his dog out of its own home when you visit, if it's not misbehaving.

If it was your brother’s friend over visiting, a bloke, and he leaned on you, put his hand on you and showed the whites of his eyes you’d be horrified.

Why do dogs get away with it ?

This sounds like affection from the dog, not aggressive behavior -boxers are funny dogs and it sounds like it just wanted to sit with you. They aren't really dogs for people who don't like dogs though , and you aren't unreasonable to want to see your brother without the dog- maybe he can visit you or you can meet out elsewhere?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dogs aren't men. Different body language. And you can always see the whites of human eyes. Ridiculous post.

It doesn’t sound dominant or aggressive to me, more likely an affectionate lean and good natured invasion of your personal space. But if you’re not used to dogs, it’s intimidating. Then you tense up, the dog picks up on that and gets tense too, wondering what you’re worried about. It’s totally acceptable to ask your brother to intervene in whatever way makes you comfortable. Or spend more time with him and the dog to get to know it better is another alternative.

As others have said, when they lean into you like that they are giving you a hug. He was being snuggly and then told off for it and sent into the garden,.

Haha, what? My dog does all kinds of things I wouldn't want a bloke to do. Like hide under my bed, lick my leg after I come out of the shower, eat the crumbs I drop on the floor. You are right that I would be horrified if a bloke did that, but my dog is not a human bloke and communicate and act differently.

😂😂😂

Well aren't you blowing things out of proportion! The dog a) didn't actually do anything wrong... the dogs actions the way the OP has described them are usually more affectionate than aggressive and b) it was the dogs home c) the dog didn't even get away with it... he was quickly removed from the room 🙄