AIBU to be concerned about a sudden nursery room move?

[FireHorse29]

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice on nursery room moves.

My 2.5 year old daughter goes back to nursery tomorrow (today technically) after them being closed for Easter the past 2 weeks. I've just received a newsletter from the nursery, sent out on Monday evening when they were closed, saying that they've changed the layout of their setting over the break. Instead of just having a toddler group and a preschool group as they did before, they've created a third group in the middle for children that are between 2 and 3. My daughter has evidently moved into that group, and will now share a space with the preschoolers instead of the younger children.

I don't object to this on paper, as my daughter is getting to an age where she's outgrowing toddler things a bit. However, from the wording on the newsletter it really does seem like this is effective immediately. This is the first time I am hearing of any of this, despite it all seeming very planned on their end (they've renovated and moved the whole space around). We have already apparently moved groups on their app, my daughter's keyworker has been removed from her profile - in the letter it says the lady she had is staying with the toddlers, so evidently this will be something else that is changing.

She will apparently be moving into a different physical space as well as having new children in her room and the new keyworker - not that I know who it will be. That seems like a lot to find out about in a newsletter the day before she goes back? I don't object in theory, so maybe it's being facetious, as it's not like we would have said no. But I'm really feeling like I should have been talked to before this decision was made. Under their previous arrangement she wouldn't be moving rooms until late August. We have just started potty training, which we informed them about before the Easter break, and I wouldn't have started that now if I'd known she would be going through another big transition.

Before anyone says, obviously I am going to talk to the nursery first thing and get as many answers as possible. I know there's no point reacting until I have all the facts. But I just feel like whatever they say now, I'm still going to be annoyed. I've read about this for the first time in a mass newsletter. Even if she doesn't actually move for 2 weeks, for example (which is really not how it seems from the letter, as all the wording is very immediate) I'm still going to feel like they've blindsided me a bit. Nobody said a peep at drop off or pick up before we broke up. They gave me their thumbs up to potty train!

She's our first child but she went to a different nursery from 9 months to about 18 months old, and had one room transition while there which was all very discussed, probably 2 months in advance, and happened in stages to help her adjust. Maybe it's wrong to compare between 2 nurseries or I got used to a more communicative style before. My daughter is an adaptive child and bright for her age (biased I know) so I know she will do well, but I'm definitely really questioning how things have been handled. Does anyone have any experience of this? Am I being unreasonable to be concerned, or is this standard?

Mega over reaction here.

Save this post and re read it I think 5 years and you'll have a very different opinion.

You've started potty training, don't stop now. Tie it all in together. "now you're a big girl in pants, you get a new nursery room with more fun activities".

I am sorry you’re feeling so anxious about it but I genuinely think all will be fine. They notice their friends much more than the adults around them as they are with the children more so if she’s moving around with her wee pals she’ll
be fine.

I guess I’m odd as I never was entirely sure who my children’s key workers were. They seemed to have lots of lovely staff around but often different people. They never talked about the adults though - all their stories were about their friends and the food. Mostly the food from my son!

I think it’s a great opportunity to potty train for what it’s worth - moving to the big girl room, new big kid friends, lots more children already trained. I would have done it this way on purpose if I had the choice.

Exactly this. It’s completely fair to be concerned!

For a toddler these are a few big transitions at once. I’d be pissed off about it and asking them what they are doing to help manage the changes.

People who say you’ve overreacting seem to be working hard to not care about anything.

Yeah you’re overthinking this. She’ll be fine, they’ll know what they’re doing.
could have been communicated earlier I agree but it is what it is and they’ll make it work.

I’m another one who agonised over this sort of thing with my first and then realised it was all fine.
Your DD will be with the same core group of children she was with before and will no doubt know the staff even if they weren’t her specific key worker. She may well be used to the new space already and, even if she’s not, think of the excitement of seeing her little pals after the break and the new toys & activities. Plus it’s nursery so they will work their usual magic and all of the children will be back in their routine even if it’s in a different space.
Something I also realised is that, whilst children are born throughout the year, nurseries only really have one big departure point which is when the older ones go to school. So at this time of year, you can get a bit of a back log of children who can’t move into the pre-school room as it is full but they has outgrown the room they are in. I think it’s actually really positive that your nursery has created this extra space which will allow this group to continue to develop. My DC always seemed to have developmental leaps when they moved rooms.

We’d expect that for ourselves if there was a similar change in our own personal or work environment.

Ime yiu get very little notice in work about changes and have to roll with them.

Loads of notice leads to more worry, more anxiety being built and making a bigger deal of something that is fairly run of the mill.

The nursery may have new staff meaning adjusted ratios so the new room needs to open all at one time to allow for that. It's exciting for kids to get to explore a new space. They'll quickly adapt to new friendly adults around them.

I would like to add that I work with 2-4+ and I'm usually quite defensive of nurseries and nursery workers. On this occasion, I'm not supportive of the way this has been done, or at least communicated. I think all the physical work, rejigging staff etc has taken priority over the children (and parents), which isn't great tbh.

How patronising.
My children are 17 and 27 - attended such a nursery for years and I don’t think OP is over reacting.

There are loads of threads on here about people being upset and unsettled about not being informed about changes in the work place.
They turn up and find their desk has been re-allocated or moved. I think most people agree communication is good for employees.

Not patronising. It is (understandably) an over reaction. It's OPs first child through the nursery process. Yes communication hasn't been great and is definitely an area for the nursery to reflect on, but OP feeling as down as she is about it isn't helpful and in due course she will realise if wasn't worth being so worked up over something so small.
We've all been there, we all do it, life happens and we're all human. The good thing is a forum like this to air your thoughts and hear that everything will be OK in the end.

Re workplace changes, it'd be nice to know beforehand, which OP does know beforehand.

I don't understand what the issue is. I wouldn't really care what particular room DS was in.

Well my children had a transition period where they visited the new room for few hours over the course of some days before moving. We were both welcomed to look around the room, meet the staff (who we may or may not have had much to do with before), learnt about the new routine with an opportunity to ask questions.
My children were not particular sensitive to changes (maybe because they had been handed so smoothly), but the transitions were still significant.
Maybe things have changed since mine were in nursery.

Actually I’ve just done some googling and my experience is still what nurseries publish as being the usual procedure.

Hi,

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and replies (and especially those wishing my daughter well in her new room, and to @BringBackCatsEyes and @PrincessOfPreschool and others for empathising with my concern/anxiety/first time parent worries). Just to answer a few things that have come up a couple of times:

• I would never stop potty training now we have made progress, that would definitely be silly. I just probably wouldn't have started if I knew, because as I mentioned, I know how shy my daughter can be with new adults and it's awkward timing. What's done is done and as many of you have said it isn't the end of the world.

• I also don't expect the nursery to apologise, nor did I ever. I would have needed to talk to them about the move regardless of when it happened because of a few things going on with my DD (for example she has a severe allergy to milk, which the children in the preschool room have free access to pour themselves).

• In a similar vein, my issue is less about the move and more about not being informed. I appreciate they probably have to do this for staffing and developmental reasons as pointed out. They've remodeled half the inside of the building so they clearly did know this was happening, so I am just confused why it wasn't mentioned to anyone.

I probably felt more blindsided because I had gotten used to the communicative approach with the last nursery. I've definitely chilled out about it today after accepting that it is the right thing for her. I still wish they would have told me as I don't really understand why they have given us less than 24hrs notice. But it's done now.

Writing this post helped me to process the emotion so I'm grateful to you all for your feedback. At drop the off line today I was probably actually one of the more chilled parents. I don't really know any other nursery parents, but many of them know each other so there was a lot of talking about it and some people are definitely very upset. But there are a lot of SEN children in her age group from what I understand, and some of those parents were understandably more annoyed because their children have different needs around transitions... I realised I should feel fortunate that my daughter is generally adaptable to change and able to cope with this.

Thanks all!

We had similar when my daughter was 18 months. They had a very sudden room change around and we were told just before a summer break. She’s been in the 1-2 room and they suddenly introduced a 18 months - 2.5 room. I think this was due to the change in numbers for each age group. I was a little nervous about this but it actually really benefitted DD. She adjusted quickly.

I think you’re right to ask questions for reassurance but I wouldn’t be too bothered by this. It will have been done for good reasons I’m sure.

Perhaps it has been done quickly as they have realised the children aren't getting the attention or development they need in bigger groups with a wide age range - have managed to recruit and want to get the benefit sooner rather than later after a transition. You would hope they know the children well enough to gauge how they will respond to it. Do agree though, even a letter before the easter break letting you know it was a possibility would have been good

Yes, I get you op.
It's not that it won't likely work out better, it's the lack of communication

Yanbu to be upset the change happened with no prior warning or discussion.

But I think DD will be better off as soon as shes settled for change.