Parent dumping their child on me

[exhausted1234]

I’ve just dropped my children off at rainbows and brownies. Both in the same place, but in different rooms of the community centre, brownies starts at 6pm and rainbows at 6.15pm. I dropped my eldest daughter off at 6pm, then walked around to wait outside the other room with my youngest daughter ready for rainbows start 15 minutes later. As I’m waiting there, this dad rocks up with his 5 year old, so I say to him “oh the rainbows leaders aren’t here yet” expecting him to reply “oh okay” or “oh thanks for saying”. He looks at his daughter and says “right see you later sweetheart!” and just fucks off 15 minutes early!! 🤯 Basically, because I was there with my daughter he just assumed I’d be happy to watch his daughter too so he could get off home. Am I being OTT in thinking this is incredibly rude? I don’t know this man, I’ve never seen his daughter before, they’re complete strangers. Had it been someone I know, or perhaps a parent I recognised from school or something I’d have found it rude but a bit more understandable, but I just can’t believe this dad thinking it’s okay to just leave his daughter in a corridor with a stranger and bugger off! It then got to around 2 minutes before rainbows was due to start and the leaders hadn’t yet turned up and I start to have a mild panic of “it’s definitely on today isn’t it?” and start frantically checking my emails to make sure there hasn’t been a last minute emergency cancellation, and it occurs to me what would I do if it was cancelled and I’ve just had this stranger’s child dumped on me? I wouldn’t feel like I could leave her at the community centre on her own, but then I’d have been stuck there for an hour until her parent returned! Am I right in thinking this is really odd behaviour from a parent?

Are you sure he was expecting you to watch his child or was he just leaving her there till the leaders arrived?

So abandoning her into an empty building ???

😂

He is a crap parent and I hope you told the Leaders all sorts of of child protection issues there. He is being extremely irresponsible with his child’s safety. If it happens again I would definitely call him out on it. He is putting his child in real danger by his actions if he just dumps them and runs .

It’s not unimaginable that your DH wasn’t collecting your dd afterwards: perhaps she and another guide were having a sleepover or maybe he had just arranged for someone else to bring her back to yours. Or perhaps you were away and your DH was on a night shift, so he was going to drop your dd at her grandparents’ house on his way to work after guides. Or perhaps there were other family members taking up all the space in the car (or he might already have been taking other guides home, ones whose parents had already spoken to you about it) with no room to transport an unexpected extra person.

So many possibilities!

They were lucky the guide leader was able to take the abandoned child home.

What world do you live ?.
Of course she needs to tell the leaders.
She has no way of knowing if the child was left, or left with OP.

And someone needs to chat to one of the child's parents

Or leaving her in a queue. I’m not saying he was right to do it but it might be that OP is misinterpreting the event. It might have had nothing to do with her. After all, he didn’t actually ask her to look after the child.

I'm pretty sure they would feel responsible.

They have a contract with the parents. This waster is not following the contract and is leaving his child alone and vulnerable. It's definitely a matter for the leader. The waster will say 'I left her with one of the mums'. So OP needs to be clear that there was no conversation or agreement. He simply abandoned the 5 year old and fucked off.

It is called everyday sexism. It's real, and we notice it.

I realised a male friend of mine was like this on a recent holiday, when we visited him. Some men just can't wait to get away from thier kids.

A few weeks ago, I arrived at school at 7:40 (school starts at 8:20) and I found a year 1 student sitting outside the gate on their iPad. Alone, unaccompanied, on a public sidewalk. Once we managed to contact the father, he said ‘sorry I had to get to work’, like it was nothing. This is a very expensive private school (not in UK).

I was at the airport a few weeks ago, without my DC of DH, and a father with 3 young children left them sitting near me and then pissed off to go and look in the shops for 15 mins, out of sight of the children. I suppose he assumed that since they were near me, I’d make sure they wouldn’t die or get hurt? I got up and walked away. Harsh, I know, but I know duty of care, and I’m not going to take responsibility for someone else’s kids. You bet that if something went wrong, they’d be the first to turn around a sue you.

You needed to use your voice - ‘where are you going? You can’t just leave her here’

Is hard though isn't it? Not everyone has that confidence, and I would worry about humiliating the child as well.

A 5 year old will not be humiliated by someone advocating for them- they’d be relieved and happy.
And no, it’s not hard. What is wrong with people if they aren’t confident enough to ask an adult why they are abandoning a child?!

😂

She’s not dealing with a nice, normal pleasant man here though is she, she’s dealing with a selfish narcissistic prick. You think someone with his character would hesitate towards aggression towards a woman?! Of course not

“Polly” you’re either an absolute pick me or a man pretending to be a woman on a woman’s forum (I’d guess the latter).

I'd tell the leaders. and if he shows up again next week, have a word with him (now that you've had lots of good suggestions about words you could use!) and explain why what he did was not ok. Or talk to the poor girl's mother (if useless-dad doesn't show up again), so she knows that he can't be relied on to do the right thing to protect their dc.
In future, someone abandons a child next to you? Call the police, call social services. Don't be embarrassed. It's useless-dad who should be embarrassed.

Flabbergasting. He’s a CF.

If I’d been you and had presence of mind I’d have followed him out with my dd and walked past him in the car park and shouted “see you later!” And then waited to see if he goes back in

He's a cheeky fucker yes but I'd just put it down to being part of "the village" and hope that when I needed support from "the village" it would be there for me too.

Everybody seems to want support from "the village" but no-one seems to want to be the support to anyone else.

Why on Earth did you not say anything? I'd have shouted after him 'you can't leave your child alone, I'm not watching her.' Cheeky cunt.

He'll probably try and make a habit of it. Could you wait in the car next week so he can't. If no car could you wait somewhere else?

I think he just assumed she would be ok waiting outside the room for the Rainbow leader he didn't necessarily leave her with you to look after.