AIBU with my mum?
We live about 1.5hrs apart, my son is nearly 2. I’ve always made a big effort to support their relationship (incl. booking two week-long holidays together), and generally I’m the one arranging to meet. She sees him every 2–4 weeks depending on her plans (she holidays a fair bit).
Recently she was meant to drop in but didn’t message all day, then text at 9.30pm saying she was coming round. I said no as LO was in bed. She still came to the door. I spoke to her face to face and said it felt frustrating and like she wasn’t really listening. I apologised for being upset/if it was hard for her to hear that I wasn’t happy with the situation.
Since then she’s been very cold. We had a phone call where she was angry and ended up crying saying I was responsible. We met again and she was standoffish. She’s now keen to lock in future dates immediately when we see each other.
She’s pushing to see us this week (she saw us this Friday) as she’s then away for 6+ weeks. I have a very busy week and honestly don’t feel like a repeat of Friday will help.
For context, she adores my son and is lovely with him, but doesn’t really help practically (rarely babysits, doesn’t pitch in when visiting), so it can feel a bit one-sided compared to other grandparents.
Part of me thinks this is a small issue and I should just see her. Another part feels it’s linked to a wider pattern and I need a bit of space to reset.
AIBU to say “sorry, this week doesn’t work, let’s catch up in four weeks when it suits us both”?