To be feeling bad I’m not reading to my two year old?

[badgerandthefox]

My two year old has started refusing books and stories. We have loads at home, I mean literally so many - all the classics like the Julia Donaldson ones and Tiger Who Came to Tea etc as well as lots of newer ones but she just won’t let me!

I did manage to look at a book with her today but I wasn’t reading, she was just looking at the pictures.

It makes me feel guilty and like I’m not doing my ‘job’ as a mum very well!

Perhaps you could let her look at the pictures and talk to you about what she sees and thinks.

books are too important to let slide.

Tbh I wouldn’t really stress too much ! My youngest is two and I’d love to read to him but unfortunately he is beyond wild and snatches books right off me and has ripped pages out etc. yeah it would be nice but it’s not the be all and end all. Ur not a bad mum, bad mums don’t give a fuck if their bad mums

Just start reading them silently to yourself and see if she comes over and gets involved. If she does, subtly try to draw her in. ‘Look at Sophie’s tights, l like those.’ ‘I can’t believe he’s drinking straight from the teapot!’ and see what happens.

At bedtime I’d just say ‘would you like me to read a story with you’ and if she says no just say ‘goodnight’ and leave.

This is going to sound a bit crazy but try just sitting reading a picture book yourself. That toddler urge to get into everything you are doing may just help you here!

She’s too smart for that trick - she knows what I’m trying to do! We did look at a book today but she wouldn’t let me read the text; we just talked about the pictures so that’s progress of sorts but we have so many lovely books!

Think of it as taking a little break rather than that you’ve stopped altogether.

please don’t feel bad. you are not failing her. some kids are just not the sit down story time type. my 2 year old is not. obsessed with letters and numbers but if i try sit him down for a actual story reading him the book. not a chance 😂🤣😂. i was once lucky to catch him while he was chill having a bottle and we managed one book

My DS stopped wanting books when he was about 2 for about 6 months but I would keep trying everyother night and if he didn't want to read with me I'd let him play whilst I carried on reading the book. Then a few months ago he just decided he did want to read again and we have a story every night now. He is going more for the interactive books but he's also loving the Ten Little Pirates/Dinosaurs series and talking through the colours and counting some nights instead of reading them word for word

I think looking at pictures, talking about what’s in the book and asking questions and being curious about the story etc is all part of it, so I’d just keep doing that for now

We read to our 11 year old every night for over 10 years.

We’re only just starting to read to our 7 year old girls. They’ve never managed to sit through a book. Hated it, couldn’t sit still long enough. They’ve only become interested now as they can join in with the reading.

Dont feel bad about it. Pick it up again later.

I did manage to look at a book with her today but I wasn’t reading, she was just looking at the pictures.

This is absolutely fine, just do what works and let her engage with books on her own terms.

There’s actually loads of evidence that this kind of book sharing is hugely beneficial . Google ‘interactive reading’ or look at the video on the link I’ve attached… discussing the pictures and discussing what’s going on is just as important as reading the story.

Stop worrying, sounds like you’re doing a great job!
EEF Iinteractive reading

Have you tried the interactive books? The flip books, ones with things that slide out and the sensory ones like that’s not my…? For ages we could only do those books, which were mind numbing boring for us! They were rough with these books and we had one that had a witch with a stinky brew that was this sticky sponge thing which was absolutely disgusting, so very few books made it out of that phase in a condition that could be passed on, but it got them holding books, turning pages.

I had some picture books with all sorts of different things like animals or objects or foods. They were a good back up when they weren't in the headspace for a story.

This is mine! Just wants to whip through pages!!

Looking at the pictures absolutely counts! There are some fabulous books which are just pictures, no text. Early literacy is part of my work role and looking at picture books, simply studying the images, is an important part of the learning process.
Stop stressing about it. You're making books normal just by having them around. Can you take her to your local library, let her choose new books? Don't force her to pick "worthy" books, just let her take whatever she wants. The point is to look through the books, looking at the pictures, learning to turn pages. Make up stories to go with the pictures.
Do they do a story/song time? Sometimes a different environment helps. And songs help with literacy too.

Or what about the book "You Choose" - that's a nice one if she's not interested in hearing an actual story right now

But that's fantastic! Can she make up her own story to match the pictures?

My main thought is "why" she is not interested. Is she tired (in which case try a different time of day)? Does she want to do something else (in which case maybe do the something else and then read?)

Looking at the pictures and talking about them is just fine at that age.
She's only 2. She doesn't necessarily need stories yet.
Have you read Allan and Janet Ahlbergs's book "The Baby Catalogue"?
A beautifully illustrated book about one day in the life of several different babies set out in the style of a catalogue so only a few words.
But there is so much going on in the actual pictures. You can look at the book over and over and still see different things you haven't spotted before.
Janet and Allan Ahlberg created the book because they realised their baby daughter preferred looking at catalogues to books.
Your daughter might be more interested in "reading" the latest Aldi leaflet than an actual book.
Does it matter? No. Not in the slightest.
Enjoy pictures. Enjoy words.
It's all good.
(pictures from the book)

Are you reading the story or are you trying to get her to identify letters and sounds? They are two very different things, one is a chore and the other enjoyable. Two is too young to be worrying about recognising letters, etc.

Have you tried audio books at bedtime? That helped when one of my children refused to listen to me or DH for a while. The novelty of another voice didn’t seem to be so off putting. The Yoto player is a brilliant investment.

It's fine for a 2 year old to just look at the pictures and not want you to actually read! Just let her look and see if you can get her to chat about the pictures - you can comment yourself 'doesn't the tiger look big in that chair! or 'hasn't the gruffalo got big feet!' The important thing is sitting together and sharing the book, not her listening to stories.

This is just fine. Enjoying a book is about more than just the words. Engaging with the pictures is great for a two year old. She knows how pages work, where the start and end of a book is. Enjoy chatting about the pictures with her! Ask her to read it to you, maybe. "Reading a book" with a toddler isn't so much about you reading aloud while they passively listen, as them getting a chance to engage with stories and art - which you're managing just fine, and she's enjoying doing. Keep going!

We’re definitely not at letters and sounds yet!

Thanks everyone; I feel better now. She’s always had stages of only accepting certain books (it was Bear Hunt for ages and then she was obsessed with the very hungry caterpillar and then Superworm) but now she’s just refusing. I’ve always tried to read throughout the day so books aren’t just for bedtime but now I’m not having much luck at any time of the day.

You Choose is a good idea; it’s one of the few we haven’t read.

She has a toniebox but is just obsessed with the Elsa Tonie although she has loads of Mog, Tiger who Came to Tea, Gruffalo etc (although the Gruffalo one is AWFUL.)

Snap, @Endofyear 😂

If she'll read the story to you, try and film it. We have a great video of DD2 reading Room on the Broom aged about 18 months, it's such a lovely memory 😍