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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's another inheritance one...

228 replies

Meudantte · 19/04/2026 18:17

Mary is in her 80s. Her DH died 15 years ago.

Two children
Jane in her 60s with two grown up children.
Sarah who died a decade ago in her 50s. Left a widower and two grown up children.

Before Sarah's death Mary's will basically divided the estate 50/50 between 2 daughters with a small amount for each grandchild eg £5-10k

Since Sarah's death, Mary has made changes. 50% will now go to Jane, the remaining 50% will be divided equally between the grandchildren. Sarah's husband will also like get something too.

Sarah's children have somehow found out about this (not sure how) and aren't happy. They feel like they're not being treated fairly as the original 50% for Sarah is no longer coming to that part of the family, but a smaller share, while Jane still gets 50%.

Jane will be using her share as an extra pension as she's not got a great one. Sarah would have likely done the same so these sums were never going to be passed directly to grandchildren but obviously they would benefit indirectly.

Obviously Mary can do what she likes with her money but this is causing friction and interested in perspectives. Inheritance seems to always cause feuds.

OP posts:
Yetone · 20/04/2026 15:55

There is somebody else to be considered in this scenario. Mary’s late husband and how he may feel about the situation. Presumably Mary inherited half of the house and other things from him.
Jane may be the only daughter Mary is concerned about but surely the ex husband was concerned about both daughters.

C8H10N4O2 · 21/04/2026 14:58

Yetone · 20/04/2026 15:55

There is somebody else to be considered in this scenario. Mary’s late husband and how he may feel about the situation. Presumably Mary inherited half of the house and other things from him.
Jane may be the only daughter Mary is concerned about but surely the ex husband was concerned about both daughters.

That is quite a leap - resurrecting a long dead father of a long dead daughter and projecting your opinions on them! He could equally have abandoned them at an early age and the house been paid for by the DM!

Newyearawaits · 21/04/2026 17:03

Comedycook · 20/04/2026 07:50

I received a fairly large inheritance whilst I was quite young as both my parents died early. One thing I've observed is how much financial help my friends get from their living parents throughout their adult life... financial help with house deposits, buying cars, home improvements, not to mention the money the save from free childcare. I see my inheritance as a kind of compensation for not having that.

All relative. My parents died when I was very young and had no material or financial assets to leave. Wonderful parents who left me with memories, irrespective of financial circumstances.
Yes, money brings out the worst in people. What is seen as fair to some will be seen as unfair by another.

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