To think I need someone to give my head a wobble

[MarthaFaukas]

Family of 4, one school age and one baby, wanting to move out of London. In our new area, after ALL bills - inc. food, mortgage, phone bills, fuel, subs, childcare - we would have around 1100 left over per month for "fun" and other expenses e.g. kids clubs, clothes, eating out. This would increase to about 1400 in the next couple of years when DC2 starts school nursery and we only need to pay for wrap around.
It would be a huge salary drop for us, but I need a slower pace of life and want better for the kids.

We have a fair amount in savings but would rather not live off those. DH thinks its plenty but I'm unsure. Any advice, thoughts or experiences welcome.

Hang on - you're moving area but it also means a salary drop - why is this the case?

Are you (both) keeping your savings and pensions at the same rate to then be left over with the £1100?

London salaries not the same! I'd also have to take a step back career wise which seems to be a sad neccessity if we are to move.

Pensions yes, savings not until salaries increase. Could possibly save about 200 from the 1400.

Seriously £1100 after all bills! That’s more than lots of people, what a crass post

What exactly do you think will be better about life after the move? If your disposable income will be the same, and your job will be a level lower, what are the other tangible benefits to moving?

A lot of people move for an idealized slower pace of life, and are then surprised when life with small kids remains hectic no matter what. If you can quantify exactly what the move means - more family support / better schools / better hobby opportunities / closer to friends / bigger house / lesser commute you'll probably feel more confident in it?

I agree. How much different is it to now?

Time, less stress and a slower pace of life and definitely less traffic would be worth it to me. For others it wouldn't.

You have 1400 fun money a month and can only save £200 what on earth are you spending your money on

Just go…..spend time together , slower pace of life. Have no regrets. You could always go back when the children are grown up. X

Why are you moving? A slower pace of life - you’ll likely get that. Better for the kids - better how? Is it the country air, the closer knit community, the good schools, the proximity to family?

You need to list what exactly is better about it and concentrate on that. Your kids are only young once, and if it will give them a more happy and magical childhood then you’re giving them something the extra money can’t buy. That is something to be cherished.

Consider your head duly wobbled!

Good point tbf! Head wobbled!

Every person’s problem is going to be nothing compared to someone else’s. That doesn’t make it “crass” for them to post about it.

Also how is money before buying things like clothes when you have children, who grow out of their clothes constantly and always need more, “after all bills”?!

My thoughts exactly

Out of that £1100 have you got to buy birthday presents , haircuts , putting away money for car tax/ insurance etc ?

Yes, but car stuff I usually pay upfront so stupidly didnt count it

are you moving to another city with lots to do or moving rurally?

I would never move rurally with kids.

What is your “fun money” at the moment? We have £2300 left after house bills, mortgage, utilities, internet etc which has to cover childcare, food, running the car, clothes, holidays, gifts, fun money etc basically anything that isn’t a house cost as that come out of a different joint account (we’ve got 2). We used to save £600 a month even with childcare, but we now can only save £100-150 with all the increases, I try to put aside £85 a month for birthdays/xmas and £250 for holidays but sometimes dip into these.
Maybe have a go at managing on your new spending and see if it is manageable. We needed a new oven a few months ago which we had to take out of the savings, now trying to make that back up too!

I honestly wouldn't even know what to do with that kind of money.
Likely save £1000 and live off £100

@MarthaFaukas
I forgot to save for car insurance this year , god knows how 😩. I think it’s doable it depends if you like to eat out / have takeaways / expensive days out ? Or will the move mean there are cheap things to do ? It’s amazing how you think you have the month sorted financially and then something crops up ( split in tyre , sudden hole in school shoes, fence blown down ) can be anything that can mess up the months money .

Another city but more green space, chance of buying rather than renting forever! Which to me makes it worth moving!

Go for it in that case

I hadnt thought of looking at that! If i do the sums on buying here and commuting etc, "fun money" is only about £300 different. For the opportunity to buy and more space, schools and family closer by, it seems worth it?!

You need to redo your sums if you haven't included car costs, maintenance costs, clothes and fuck up fund. If you are left with £300 less than currently that's quite a drop so it depends how tight things are for you right now. You need to do a proper budget down to the penny to work out what you will have left over. Leaving London means some things will be cheaper but some (like builders and trades people) may be more expensive as London has a very wide choice of available people. You may use your car more as well by leaving London so petrol costs might go up and you might need more taxis etc.

Agree.

It has to be a bot. We have similar posts over and over again. It's beyond crass, which is what makes me think it's not a human. No real person is this insensitive are they?