To feel like I’m behind in my 30s and need to rebuild?

[NattyPearlDreamer]

This is a bit personal but I’d really appreciate some perspective.

I’m in my early 30s and going through a bit of a low point financially and career-wise. It’s been a mix of things and I’m navigating it on my own, which I think makes it feel heavier.

I’ve just turned 33. I can’t help but feel quite behind and, if I’m honest, a bit overwhelmed by it all.

I’d really like to hear from anyone who felt like they hit a similar point in their 30s and managed to rebuild, especially independently.

AIBU to feel like this?

I’m not 30 yet, nearly 27. The finish line is death, why do you feel behind? Is it compared to your friends etc? Comparison is the thief of joy and things can only get better x

Behind? Behind what? There is no timeline in life.

It sounds like you want go make some changes or set some goals, which is great, but focus on improving your life and what brings you happiness, not what everyone else is doing. It also sounds like you're having a difficult time, so now is not the time to put unrealistic expectations on yourself that are only going to fail and disappoint.

It's also best to accept that life isn't one linear line of progression. Things happen that can set people back temporarily or sometimes long term: redundancies, divorces, health issues, family circumstances. Don't imagine that everyone else will have the perfect life forever and be kind to yourself when you face set backs. A set back isn't a failure.

Girl I hear you 😆
35, and I am constantly giving myself grief.
On paper my career looks ok, got a tricky job in addiction support which takes skill and brings in a steady wage (30k). In the last 6 months I've done 2 courses to work towards a career change and just got funding to do a business course I really want to do. Actively applying for new jobs, settling into a new place, slowly building up a couple new hobbies. Still feel like shit a lot of the time in terms of self esteem, direction and overall accomplishment, and having some debts I can't yet clear is stressing me out. Working on them.

No matter what we're doing career wise, we can always give ourselves grief about 'should be earning more, should have more qualifications, so and so is a doctor blah blah blah'. I'm trying to find joy in other ways and trying to shift the focus to what will make me happy each day, rather than the cycle of just giving myself shit for career stuff. I've noticed every time I get to a career milestone I self sabotage and change the goalposts like, well this is ok but now you should move into 'insert career goal here'. I don't seem able to enjoy my career wins and just end up always chasing. Something I'll be working on in therapy in time, but in the meantime finding joy in other ways - allotment and puppy for me - embracing my granny gardener years early ❤️😆