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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was the director flirting with me / being inappropriate?

16 replies

WhoopsyDaisyx · 19/04/2026 13:32

Right, I am an HR Advisor and work in a charity who are parry of a wider group. Each charity has their own standalone HR but when there is absence etc then I am asked to help out.

So I am helping out at one charity and popped in to see Director on my way out and to say hi (i have worked with him in past so dont know him hugely but didnt want to just leave).

He offered me a tea, I accepted and then we just had a chit chat. He kept talking which is a bit of a joke between everyone as a quick chat could be hours. But I wasn't ready to just go home as it was some day and I needed some friendly chat and a cuppa.

Anyway, after chatting I noticed time was really running away. He kept talking and I felt it was rude to interput and say I had to go but it was getting ridiculous at 7pm! So I did cut him off and said that its late. I need to go now. He apologised and took my cup to go clean it. He then said he would let me out as reception would have left and locked the front door. On site, there is an uncall house he sometimes stays at. He lives an hr away.

He walked out room. Turned back, and said, its getting late, i dont think I'll go home. Do you think its late for me to go home or should I stay??

I said, what have yoh told your wife, is she expecting you home? He said yes, I said, its only hr, go home. He said okay.

The next day I was telling my coworker I stayed quite late etc. I told her the exchange and she said he was probably wanting me to stay too and he was flirting with me. I am not sure if thats what happened. I then told my partner to see and he thought it was weird. What do you think? I am asking as if its likely he was, I will keep my distance.

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 19/04/2026 13:37

Nothing from what you have said sounds like flirting.

Whenthemorningcomes · 19/04/2026 13:40

Doesn’t sound like flirting to me.

Tillow4ever · 19/04/2026 13:41

I can’t see any flirting in there.

Xkk · 19/04/2026 13:43

Your colleague sounds as a drama seeker. Why are you giving this any headspace? You don't work with him regularly, he didn't make any inappropriate remarks. Move over.

Smarvellous · 19/04/2026 13:44

Hard to tell without having seen the body language really. Could be something or nothing. Either way, you didn't entertain or encourage it, and he didn't heavily hint thatbhe wanted you to stay too. Nothing actually happened and that's the most important thing. I'd politely just keep my distance and keep it professional.

Joliefolie · 19/04/2026 13:45

"He kept talking which is a bit of a joke between everyone as a quick chat could be hours." So he behaved with you the way he behaves with everyone and nothing inappopriate was said or done.

Smarvellous · 19/04/2026 13:54

I do think it a bit inappropriate for him to have asked OP's opinion on whether he should stay or go home. I'm not sure why others are viewing this so innocently. It could easily have been an opening to see if OP was interested to stay for another drink etc herself.

Dollymylove · 19/04/2026 13:57

There doesn't seem to be anything about your encounter that was flirty or inappropriate, apart from him chatting away for a lengthy chunk of time. Are you actually trying to find something to report him for?

Inmyuggs · 19/04/2026 13:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PolkaDotPorridge · 19/04/2026 14:09

Sounds like he wanted to stay in the accommodation and for you to stay with him!

L0bstersLass · 19/04/2026 14:24

PolkaDotPorridge · 19/04/2026 14:09

Sounds like he wanted to stay in the accommodation and for you to stay with him!

I agree. It's a very strange thing for him to have asked you, to me it sounds like it was his "in" to the conversation taking a bit of a turn.

VoltaireMittyDream · 19/04/2026 14:57

No, it just sounds like he has considerable problems with decision-making and time management and social communication and is a bit lost without someone telling him what to do.

He sounds passive and irritating and not someone I’d particularly want running an organization I worked for - but I reckon he’d not know how to flirt if you gave him a manual.

Whosthetabbynow · 19/04/2026 15:03

Obvs one of the terminally offended looking for problems where there aren’t any.

Holtome · 19/04/2026 15:08

Whosthetabbynow · 19/04/2026 15:03

Obvs one of the terminally offended looking for problems where there aren’t any.

Personally I think it's very odd for a director to keep a staff member chatting until 7pm or for the staff member not to speak up and say it's time to go. What do you mean you weren't ready to go home and you needed a friendly chat? With someone you barely know?

The whole arrangement seems odd. What made you relay the conversation to your friend if you didn't think there was anything odd about it?

Dollymylove · 19/04/2026 17:33

Holtome · 19/04/2026 15:08

Personally I think it's very odd for a director to keep a staff member chatting until 7pm or for the staff member not to speak up and say it's time to go. What do you mean you weren't ready to go home and you needed a friendly chat? With someone you barely know?

The whole arrangement seems odd. What made you relay the conversation to your friend if you didn't think there was anything odd about it?

The staff member could have made her excuses and left. She didnt.
He didnt invite her to spend the night with him. I'm getting vibes that some PPs wanted him to come on to OP so OP could claim sexual harassment.
He didnt. Sorry to disappoint 😞

WhoopsyDaisyx · Yesterday 23:34

Dollymylove · 19/04/2026 17:33

The staff member could have made her excuses and left. She didnt.
He didnt invite her to spend the night with him. I'm getting vibes that some PPs wanted him to come on to OP so OP could claim sexual harassment.
He didnt. Sorry to disappoint 😞

Damn. I could have retired.

OP posts:
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