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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to formally tell HR I think new employee is too slow and potentially a liar?

276 replies

simbale · 19/04/2026 07:14

I work closely with a new employee. They joined from another company and it was known that they didn’t really have the right experience for the job, but hoping they can learn fast.

This employee is a nice person, but they are just so slow. We have tight deadlines and she never wants to tell me an exact time she will finish something if I ask “when will X be done?”. She just says “hopefully by tomorrow” rather than “by 11am tomorrow”.

Recently I had to work really late to finish a work product because my boss was chasing me for it, but the new employee had sat on it because she didn’t know how to do it and was “busy”.

I recently found out that she has been telling another manager of my level that she couldn’t take on more work for him because she is super busy with my work. She told me the exact same thing the same day, that she couldn’t take on more work for me because she was super busy with his work.

I don’t know it, but it sounds like she is playing one off against the other to avoid work. AIBU to put this in formal feedback with HR?

I obviously don’t know for sure, and she seems very eager to learn when I have time to train her.

OP posts:
doghasnodentures · 19/04/2026 09:16

InMyOpenOnion · 19/04/2026 09:00

Your workplace sounds like an absolute shitshow. No proper management structure, on boarding or support, colleagues with ridiculous self-imposed email response expectations. No wonder the new joiner has started to feel dispondent.

Agree. Your poor colleague has had all her confidence sapped out of her .

AbzMoz · 19/04/2026 09:19

So you work with this person and rely upon their output, but they don’t report to you and you are not properly responsible for their performance?

either 1) have a discussion with the manager that newbie seems to be struggling with both the work involved (and what are they doing around training) and expectations around responsiveness (and what are they going to do about priorities and transparency), or 2) have a discussion with the managers manager around how the newbie is failing because of that manager and volunteer to support the onboarding.

ExtraOnions · 19/04/2026 09:19

Toxic Colleague
Badly Organised workplace
unclear processes
lack of onboarding and training
unrealistic expectations
…and then they wonder why people seem unhappy

MeganM3 · 19/04/2026 09:20

Doesn’t sound like a very supportive environment. If she’s still in probation she’s still getting used to the new job and it doesn’t sound like she’s been given much training.

TheDelcosArabiaNSoul · 19/04/2026 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mazedasamarchhare · 19/04/2026 09:23

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:13

She does sound quite irritating and shit but you also don’t perhaps sound the best manager. If you need something by 11 am tomorrow you tell her that, not just asking vaguely when it’ll be done by

How does the employee sound shit? The company took her on in the FULL knowledge she didn’t have the skill set needed for the job they just hoped she’d be a fast learner, except the company have failed to give her the training needed. They seem to think she’s plant based and learning via osmosis, and not a human requiring proper on the job training. I bet she’s not given the time to actually watch the videos and is just expected to watch them in her own time…

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:25

mazedasamarchhare · 19/04/2026 09:23

How does the employee sound shit? The company took her on in the FULL knowledge she didn’t have the skill set needed for the job they just hoped she’d be a fast learner, except the company have failed to give her the training needed. They seem to think she’s plant based and learning via osmosis, and not a human requiring proper on the job training. I bet she’s not given the time to actually watch the videos and is just expected to watch them in her own time…

Slow, making mistakes etc maybe ok in your job, but they’re not in mine or I assume others.

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:27

If you want to sack her OP at least you have time before the unfair dismissal qualifying period gets reduced. Workplaces are going to be a nightmare when the dead wood gets their feet under the table after 6 months

PinkNailPolish2026 · 19/04/2026 09:29

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:25

Slow, making mistakes etc maybe ok in your job, but they’re not in mine or I assume others.

They joined from another company and it was known that they didn’t really have the right experience for the job, but hoping they can learn fast.

This is the fault of the employer, they knew the employee didn’t have the experience for the job yet they took her on anyway and haven’t properly trained her. Add into the mix there’s no line management and it’s a recipe for disaster.

BillieWiper · 19/04/2026 09:32

I feel sorry for her, it sounds like she's scared of you!

AngryHerring · 19/04/2026 09:35

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:25

Slow, making mistakes etc maybe ok in your job, but they’re not in mine or I assume others.

how long have you been doing your job?
Were you fully qualified when you started?
how long did it take you to get up to speed?
What was your onboarding process?

You sound like OP - no idea how to manage, no idea how to train a newbie and zero empathy.

Thecup · 19/04/2026 09:37

I have to agree with the other posters OP - you sound like a work place bully. I find it very disappointing to hear your clearly ignorant thought process on this new member of your team. It sounds like the whole structure of the company is toxic - as you said you have also being getting stick from your own manager. Perhaps you have been in this environment for so long you can’t see how bad the behaviour is. I would read every comment and then reassess. I fell like in places like your workplace the conclusion will be that the poor girl is at fault.

BunnyLake · 19/04/2026 09:43

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/04/2026 08:59

Wow, you sound awful.

I wouldn't worry, it sounds like she will leave soon, and I hope for her sake she does.

Doesn’t she just!

Glad I don’t work for you OP. She started off chatty and is now withdrawn. No wonder, I would be too! Poor woman probably dreads seeing you each morning.

Gallowayan · 19/04/2026 09:46

Sounds like you are the problem here. Three months in is nothing, if there is any complexity to the work. She has conflicting expectations from two managers who cannot be communicating properly and has not been adequately trained because you are too busy. You are not making any sense here and seem to be biased against her because you dislike her.

mazedasamarchhare · 19/04/2026 09:46

StrictlyCoffee · 19/04/2026 09:25

Slow, making mistakes etc maybe ok in your job, but they’re not in mine or I assume others.

Well, slow and making mistakes in the company I work for generally doesn’t arise, because we have the training required before we join, and then have decent training on company policy and protocols. Occasionally mistakes do happen, because, you know, we are all human, but as soon as an error comes to light it’s dealt with straight away, and further protocols are put in place to make sure an error doesn’t reoccur, no blame or shame, just sensibly sorted. Then again my colleagues and manager are bloody lovely and we’re all very supportive of each other. I appreciate that I actually enjoy going to work. Op’s work place sounds like a misery factory.

Thisismynewname23 · 19/04/2026 09:46

simbale · 19/04/2026 08:57

The four hours was 1:1, she has had loads and loads of training videos or presentations otherwise.

When she started she was quite chatty and excited about the role, but now she just seems withdrawn and that comes across in the standard of her work.

I have spoken to her on multiple occasions about how she needs to be faster and improve her work. We don’t have formal policies on responsiveness but at her level she should be checking with people.

The only time she has admitted to struggling is when she told me she was getting reasonable workplace adjustments put in place so she can take a bit longer sometimes. But this just sounds like another way to avoid meeting expectations.

It isn’t surprising she seems withdrawn she needs an experienced mentor to support her maybe if you raise to HR that she would benefit from someone with more experience helping her?

AuditAngel · 19/04/2026 09:48

I have a new assistant, he has relevant experience in another industry which is transferable, but we have a different regulatory body. He is 6 weeks in and I have spent more than 4 hours 1 to 1 with him each of those 6 weeks.

My industry is very regulated and I have worked in the industry for over 30 years, more than 10 of it in my current department. I knew my assistant would need guidance. I think you believe 4 hours of direct supervision is high, I think that is very low.

BunnyLake · 19/04/2026 09:49

You cheeky mare expecting her to reply to your emails within the hour when it’s not even company policy.

I’ve worked with people like you and when they’re on leave the difference in morale is mind blowing.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/04/2026 09:50

4 hours 1-2-1 in 3 months is a joke. When I was managing a team of staff I needed to get up to speed we had daily catch ups plus I made sure we had team days where we were all in the office each week so they could informally run things by me.

If they missed the point on a piece of work or struggled then I assumed the first time it was because my explanation wasn’t good enough. If it was 60-70% there then I treated it as a coaching opportunity.

She might not be a good fit but it’s impossible to tell given the lack of proper support she’s been given and your unrealistic expectations of her. It feels like you’ve set her up to fail.

BigMommasHouse · 19/04/2026 09:50

You need to follow the proper process or the new employee could raise a grievance against you. If you have a complaint you need to go to your line manager. It is not a HR matter. Going to HR might later be construed as a ‘witch hunt’.

DrBlackbird · 19/04/2026 09:51

tnorfotkcab · 19/04/2026 07:57

Is that company policy, that colleagues reply within one hour if each other??

That sounds insane, unproductive and super controlling.

UniDaysAcoming · 19/04/2026 09:52

I then have to spend a long time editing.

This is a mistake. You need to send it back to her and show her what was wrong and how to fix it.

B1anche · 19/04/2026 09:55

simbale · 19/04/2026 08:57

The four hours was 1:1, she has had loads and loads of training videos or presentations otherwise.

When she started she was quite chatty and excited about the role, but now she just seems withdrawn and that comes across in the standard of her work.

I have spoken to her on multiple occasions about how she needs to be faster and improve her work. We don’t have formal policies on responsiveness but at her level she should be checking with people.

The only time she has admitted to struggling is when she told me she was getting reasonable workplace adjustments put in place so she can take a bit longer sometimes. But this just sounds like another way to avoid meeting expectations.

She's probably feeling stressed and overwhelmed because of the inadequate training. Hassling her to go faster is not going to improve her performance. I really feel for her. It sounds like a terrible culture to be working in.

JemimaTiggywinkles · 19/04/2026 09:56

It sounds like the company hired someone they knew would need training and have failed to provide it. I’m not surprised she’s become disillusioned with the job. The way you speak about her is horrible and it must really take its toll on her to work with you. I can’t believe you think telling a struggling colleague (who hasn’t been properly trained) to work faster is appropriate.

Pipiscoming2023 · 19/04/2026 10:01

Oh come on, this is absolutely a wind up
or a reverse.

You’re describing a colleague who sounds so overwhelmed they’ve asked for reasonable adjustments, and then saying you’re going to report her to HR?

And there’s no proper line manager but there’s no HR department? If this is 100% true then I hope this company goes under (as someone who’s been signed off with severe burnout because of a toxic workplace).