To ask what's the funniest thing your DC have said?

[worldshottestmom]

Was having a chat with my minimally verbal 4yo DS before bed, abut ear wax. I said to him he has ear wax to stop bugs from getting inside his ears. He responded, in his own version of words, that he doesn't need ear wax, because if a bug goes in his ear he would just shoot himself in the ear to kill the bug 🫠 he was entirely confused as to why I found this so funny lol

Now I need to know what other funny / silly things kids come out with, because that did tickle me haha

My nephew, when he was about 3 or 4 and had been ill. We asked him if he was feeling better. "Yeah, apparently".

He's now a sports reporter for a major newspaper.

The other day, talking to my DS about his upcoming sleepover at grandma and grandads house.
I joked I was gonna leave him there forever, he said “but what about when they die?”

My son used to call it “fizzy feet” ❤️

In the shower after swimming

"that one's bwo-ten"
(only half-attending) "what's broken, sweetheart?"
"Mummy's penis is bwoten"

I'm afraid I laughed...

After I'd been warning him off splashing in certain puddles by saying "that one's a bit deep" he explained his wet trousers with "I trod in a bitdeep"

That’s so cute

When the queen died my child told me that people won't be queuing up to see my coffin!

DC aged 2 came downstairs one night around 10pm - They were a terrible sleeper. But an excellent early talker

DC "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Me "The good news"

DC " I'm going back to bed, but the bad news is I'm getting up again"

Brilliant!!

"After I'd been warning him off splashing in certain puddles by saying "that one's a bit deep" he explained his wet trousers with "I trod in a bitdeep"."

This is so cute 😂

I think there were loads that I was certain I would always remember…. Now of course I can’t. The only ones I can think of:

Middle son around age 2 couldn’t say “baguette” so would ask for a “ham forget” for lunch. We of course still ask him now (18) if he wants a ham forget.

Middle son again, similar age, said “Mummy” in a real deep in thought, inquisitive voice. “yes?” I replied. “Why if your bottom so ginormous?” (Still want to know who taught him that word and neglected to tell him not to use it in the same sentence as “Mummy”). Worse thing was, that was back when I was around a size 12 - much bigger these days sadly.

Middle son (spotting a theme here) aged 4. My grandad has died a few days earlier and we were all very upset. My dad was giving me, him and his older brother a lift to go and see my Grandma. We reminded the boys that Grandma might be very upset. Middle son asked why. I explained “because Grandad Fred* has died”. Silence for about a minute. Then he said “well I never liked Grandad Fred anyway”. Luckily my dad burst out laughing (middle son absolutely doted on my Grandad and vice versa - he was always asking to go see him, so that was why it was funny, just a 4 year old having an inappropriate strop).

Asterix to indicate name changed. Can’t put another asterix or you’d end up with a while weird bold section.

Youngest son and his cousin (exact same ages, so around 2/3) arguing one day over the word “Domino”. One was pronouncing it “Donimo” and the other was saying “it’s DOMino” - back and forwards arguing, my sister and I laughing at the absurdity of the argument, until my niece started trying to push him off the coffee table (they were using it as a stage to sing karaoke on previously) so we quickly stepped in.

About 7 years old my ds insisted he wanted dead soldiers with his boiled egg.

Eventually figured out he wanted them toasted 🤷‍♀️😂

Not so much at the time(!) but while in the swimming pool changing rooms ahead of her lesson, a 4yo DD1 looked thoughtfully at and prodded her nipples and then said ‘Mummy, why are my nipples up here but yours are all the way down there gesturing?’

I saw the hastily hidden smirks on faces of the other mums! I resulted the urge to say that it was all her fault as before she arrived they were extremely pert!

I took my goddaughter swimming. She asked why my nipples were so dark “are they bruised?”

Did John the Baptist baptise you? Were cars invented when you were a teenager?

My daughter was in a water nappy advert when she was about 2, it came up on my Facebook memories one day when she was 5 and my son was 7. I said 'oh look, do you remember when you were a model?' She laughed and said it was fun being a model. My son then said to her 'WAS a model, now you're just a washed-up old hag' 😂😂😂😂

This tickled me 🤣🤣

My 4 year old son paid me a compliment this morning, he said “I like your long boobies mummy”

😒

Hahaha this made me laugh it's the unfiltered honesty lmao

Omg hahahaha 😭 thats actually hilarious bless her haha

Hahahaha! The horror!

Ahh this is one of my favourites hahahaha the things they come out with actually kill me (pun unintended) lol

Omg 😭 what an actual savage hahaha

Thats hilarious hahaha you cant even be mad tbh idk why this reminds me of whenever my daughter does something shes not allowed to i.e. get a juice at like 7pm, she just brings it in the room holding it and says "hello" with this smitten smile on her face haha

Omg these were all brilliant hahahahhaa 😭😭 I wonder how they would have resolved the 'scone' argument 🤔 lmaoo

Hahahahah! Nothing beats dippy eggs and dead soldiers am I right