To get irritated when women constantly reference their partner or kids in conversations?

[OnePeachPoet]

I’ve noticed this in conversations and wondered if it’s just me.

Some women seem to frame almost everything through their partner or kids - e.g. “my husband said…” or “you wouldn’t understand because you don’t have kids.” I get that those are big parts of their lives, but occasionally it can feel a bit dismissive or like your perspective doesn’t count.

AIBU to find this a bit irritating?

I had a colleague like that. Absolutely no idea what her likes, dislikes and interest were. It was either DH or DC. Even if you actually asked her directly "what movies do you like?" she would say something like "DH likes x". Met many similar. It's sad and infuriating at the same time imho.

People have own personality, likes and dislikes, but all that somehow disapears for some women. I am married, no DC, but I still answer "I do/don't" to these questions. Obviously because the person asking was asking me about me. If they wanted to know about DH they would ask...
Never seems to happen with men in my experience....

I disagree sorry. If you're asked if you like or play sports and your "experience of sports is through your child" then the answer is no I don't play sports. If you haven't read a book and you only know it because someone else read it you're not going to have an opinion on it so just say no. It's not the same as saying "yes I loved that book, I read after my son recommended it to me" which is fine. If someone hasn't asked what hobbies, books, foods someone they've never met likes then you're answering a question you weren't asked. I don't think women that do this have no personality of their own but they're keeping it very hidden if they revert all discussion to the personalities of their husband or kids.

‘Hubby’ 🤢

I’ve got a friend like this. Her whole identity seems to revolve around her husband and children. It’s like she sees it as an achievement to have found someone to marry and have children with, and she likes to hammer it home as if to say ‘Look, I’m married!’ etc.

In her case, I think it’s because she’s got low self esteem and doesn’t have much else going on in her life or many achievements to speak of besides that. She is a nice person but never speaks of much besides her family and it gets very tedious, so I know what you mean, OP.

Can you explain a bit more?

It's quite unusual for someone to say 'you wouldn't understand because you don't have kids' - what were you discussing?

I’m with you. People who tell you their husbands opinions drive me wild. If I want to know what he thinks about something, I’ll ask him - as it is I’m asking you, so let’s have your thoughts 😭

obviously not people talking about husband/kids in general (for me) but more specifically the ones that have no opinions of their own. See also people that can’t attend an event of any sort without their partner 😂

I don’t have any friends who do this in relation to their husband or children but Ido have a couple who endlessly mention their dogs. I like dogs (and their dogs are particularly nice) but it does sometimes get to the point where you are either sitting there politely waiting for her to talk about something else or repeatedly steering the conversation away from the dog.

I might prefer to hear the dogs opinion on geopolitics than my friends husband tbf 😂

I agree that it is annoying when it is their main topic of conversation and they go on and on about their home life.

I have zero interest in hearing what their kids do at schools every day for example or how exceptional their children are. It is just boring...

Like PPs have said I have someone at my work that directs every single conversation back to her daughter and I’ve heard it all since conception to the teen years. I was sitting near her in the office last week and kept my head down and gaze averted so she didn’t catch my eye and start telling me all about her daughter again just as I’m just trying to push through the workday.

Was playing sport one day and a junior boy joined our group with his mother in tow as a spectator. I introduced myself to her by name and she replied "I'm Tim's mum".