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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think menopause is coming for me. What now?

72 replies

Magicunicornpower · 18/04/2026 09:19

Posting here for traffic. What to do now, who to talk with? Does your GP in UK refer you to an endocrinologist for HRT? Do I have to go private? Symptoms are very mild for now, but I am dreading it already. Any wise words? Thanks

OP posts:
DeftGoldHedgehog · 18/04/2026 16:28

Laiste · 18/04/2026 09:36

I didn't do anything! Yes a few v mild symptoms so i'm lucky i guess.

My best advice is cut down on your calories cos once you hit meno your body doesn't seem to need to eat anything more than a blackberry a day to pile the weight on 😩🤪

I've been like that since my 30s. It hasn't got any worse at menopause, in fact it may be slightly better as I'm not having such great fluctuations in hormones .

GenieGenealogy · 18/04/2026 16:32

Madarch · 18/04/2026 16:22

My journey went like this:
Me: Hello, I'd like to speak to someone about HRT and the menopause.
Receptionist: really sorry, can't fit you in today. Is tomorrow OK?
Me: great! Perfect. See you then.

The next day I spent 50 mins with the meno nurse. Had a full health and lifestyle check and bloods taken (thyroid, liver function tests, not hormones). Walked out with a prescription for oestrogel. All NHS.

Couldn't have been easier.

This is how it should be.

This however is the exception not the rule. All of my experiences, and many of those of my friends, are being fobbed off with disinterest and prescribed anti-depressants, or just being told they are too young, too old, not ill enough, imagining it etc etc etc.

I asked the receptionist in my surgery about a menopause clinic and she looked at me as if I had two heads.

SpringsOnTheWay · 18/04/2026 16:37

tonystarksrighthand · 18/04/2026 12:58

I’ve decided to come off it. Just tapering off now. The lows of the progesterone weighs out the rest of it …. Actually apologies to hijack the thread, anyone have any experience of this?

I’m trying to manage this at the moment.
started on gels and progesterone pills.
oestrogen gel made me bleed all the time
swapped to combined patches.
the progesterone patches made me bleed continually and have migraines.
so kept oestrogen patch and progesterone pills.
progesterone pills have made me suicidal again - hadn’t realised that’s what it was first time.
apparently we are rare for experiencing this, they’d like me on the mirena coil, but there’s no way my vaginal atrophy would tolerate that.

so! They are swapping me to another different pill to see how that goes.

I genuinely feel the best I’ve felt in 10+ years on the patches, Im so sad for my wasted years. I’d been begging for hrt since 36 and they wouldn’t help, I’d been suicidal (and came so close many times), anxious and a shell of myself.

I just need to manage the progesterone issue, because those two weeks was straight back.

anyway, I’m babbling @tonystarksrighthand talk to your doctor, if your feeling the benefit, don’t give up. It helps with so much else you cannot see or feel. There is no real alternative to diminishing hormones, the only thing is replacing them.

igelkott2026 · 18/04/2026 16:39

herbalteabag · 18/04/2026 15:21

I haven't done anything, but my symptoms aren't that bad and I don't feel the need to currently.

Same here. I've had a few hot flushes and feel a bit down at times but that's it.

The only thing I dislike is that since my periods have definitively stopped my running has got slower. A friend thinks going on HRT will help that - maybe it will for a short time but ultimately age comes for us all and I will slow down anyway! I'm just too lazy/impatient to go to the GP/pharmacy as well. If I had worse symptoms it would be a different story.

On the other hand, my mum had a surgical menopause at 42, and is still on HRT in her 80s!

igelkott2026 · 18/04/2026 16:43

GenieGenealogy · 18/04/2026 16:32

This is how it should be.

This however is the exception not the rule. All of my experiences, and many of those of my friends, are being fobbed off with disinterest and prescribed anti-depressants, or just being told they are too young, too old, not ill enough, imagining it etc etc etc.

I asked the receptionist in my surgery about a menopause clinic and she looked at me as if I had two heads.

We don't have a menopause clinic but we have a coil clinic - which mentions HRT.

The friend who recommended I go on HRT said it was very easy for her. She lives in a different area to me so has a different GP surgery. Maybe the message is getting through to some GPs, finally.

tonystarksrighthand · 18/04/2026 16:47

@SpringsOnTheWay- this is exactly how I have been. I’ve tried 3x different ways of taking Progesterone but I can’t go through every 2 weeks of literal the darkest depression. Wishing you the best

Mumathome1 · 18/04/2026 17:18

Alwayschillyatnight · 18/04/2026 15:48

Im only 43 and was put on HRT 7 months ago. It has revolutionised my life. Ive been depressed to the point of suicidal ideation and panic attacks for 3 years and the GP tried every other bloody thing before one of them put me on HRT. The results were almost instant. Like magic. The relief.

Never had a hot flush or a rage attack. Turns out skin pigmentation, thinning hair, thinning eyelashes and aching joints were all symptoms that were helped by the HRT, but I hadn't realised they were connected until they improved. But the mental health issues were crippling and ruined my life. Dont rule out perimenopause in your early 40s and dont dismiss how transformative HRT can be if you need it.

This sounds like me! My mental health is suffering so badly, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts can be all consuming. I'm 41 and finally went to the doctor two days ago about trying HRT. He is sending me for blood tests but has said that he will prescribe me HRT if I want it (I do) I really hope what happened to you happens to me! I would really love to feel like me again. Thanks for posting this, you have given me hope!

Magicunicornpower · 18/04/2026 19:23

Shedmistress · 18/04/2026 15:08

Mine started at 42 nd by 49 I had osteoporosis so don't listen to those who just tell you they flew through it, these people don't realise that everything is not just like their experience. Osteoporosis is brutal.

I know, my mum has it and suffers a lot

OP posts:
Alwayschillyatnight · 18/04/2026 19:39

Mumathome1 · 18/04/2026 17:18

This sounds like me! My mental health is suffering so badly, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts can be all consuming. I'm 41 and finally went to the doctor two days ago about trying HRT. He is sending me for blood tests but has said that he will prescribe me HRT if I want it (I do) I really hope what happened to you happens to me! I would really love to feel like me again. Thanks for posting this, you have given me hope!

The GP who prescribed it said that HRT was one of the things that - when it wsd the correct medication - worked the very quickest for MH difficulties. I had never had anxiety or panic attacks before. One week of HRT and the anxiety had stopped completely. It took a little longer for the rest to even out, but much quicker than the stupid anti depressants whoch just numbed me.

Good luck x

Dogmum74 · 18/04/2026 20:56

GO refers you nowhere. Take HRT or don’t. End of

Thechaseison71 · 18/04/2026 20:58

Magicunicornpower · 18/04/2026 19:23

I know, my mum has it and suffers a lot

That's probably the one thing that worries me about getting old. I can't have HRT

CopeNorth · 18/04/2026 21:09

Magicunicornpower · 18/04/2026 09:27

Just like that? No tests to check hormonal values or anything. It's like one size fits all? Thanks x

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/

I think above 45 with symptoms yes. 40 and over they may do bloods? Not sure it’s one size fits all - more they discuss options and you decide

nhs.uk

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

NHS information on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to treat menopause symptoms, including types, benefits and risks and how to take it.

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt

LuxuryWoman2020 · 18/04/2026 21:10

I had lots of symptoms I didn't realise were menopause symptoms. I assumed my painful feet in the morning were due to mattress, that my lack of libido and vaginal dryness were because I didn't like my then partner anymore, my brain fog was stress.

So many minor niggles disappeared on HRT, I'll continue taking it to protect my bones and my sleep. I didn't realise just how bad I felt until I felt better if that makes sense.

Moonlightfrog · 18/04/2026 21:17

I am 44 and on HRT, I had bloods checked but they were mostly normal or just below. They base it on symptoms rather than bloods.

Fluffyowl00 · 18/04/2026 21:48

Yes my experience was pretty good. Heard from a couple of friends it was hard -one ended up going private, the other had to take antidepressants first 🤯. So was a bit worried. Phoned one afternoon asking for an appointment about perimenopause and got told to ‘make a normal appointment’ 😒.

a month later I plucked up the. Courage and sat waiting at 8.30 on the phone. For a call back from the GP. Got some bloods taken. Made another appointment. Spoke to GP. They asked about symptoms. Spoke about what I thought. I’d already done some research so sort of knew what I might need. I was having really bad heart palpitations so I had to have an ECG. Then they sent me a pdf “menu” of what I could trial. Then o sent an email to the GP with what. I wanted and picked up the prescription. Pharmacist recommended the yearly plan (£20) and I bought it there.

I Went for oestrogen gel and progesterone tablets.

First month: loved the oestrogen (cleared up aching joints, made me feel happier, less grey). Hated progesterone (although it made me sleep like a baby for the first time in so long) made me feel even more anxious. Ended up taking it vaginally (not recommended- but I knew. It was the. Same progesterone I’d taken vaginally when having IVF).

Second month -bit better

Third month-good. Not back to my old self but I read up on it a lot and realised it’s not a LACK of hormones that’s the problem - it’s that they are intermittent, so there might be a natural surge and then nothing, so your body tries to regulate (hello rage!) . Whereas on HRT you have regular hormones which my body adjusted to after 3 months and loved. But there are still times when my body is in overdrive and I’m crying/angry/paranoid/feel incompetent but I can see it’s the additional hormones and can breathe.

I would say though, it’s a faff and if you’re not -edgy/wired/slightly broken I’d wait until menopause and just do it a bit for bone density.

Good luck!

SpringsOnTheWay · 18/04/2026 23:03

tonystarksrighthand · 18/04/2026 16:47

@SpringsOnTheWay- this is exactly how I have been. I’ve tried 3x different ways of taking Progesterone but I can’t go through every 2 weeks of literal the darkest depression. Wishing you the best

I’m so sorry your going through it and I’m sorry my post was probably mansplainy to you
i do wonder how many women end up divorced, jobless or attempting or completing suicide because of menopause and or progesterone.

women really do get the shitty stick don’t they

Forthesteps · 18/04/2026 23:29

Thechaseison71 · 18/04/2026 20:58

That's probably the one thing that worries me about getting old. I can't have HRT

And you might not need to. No point worrying about it in advance.
Sufficient to the day and all that...

SpringsOnTheWay · 18/04/2026 23:31

Mumathome1 · 18/04/2026 17:18

This sounds like me! My mental health is suffering so badly, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts can be all consuming. I'm 41 and finally went to the doctor two days ago about trying HRT. He is sending me for blood tests but has said that he will prescribe me HRT if I want it (I do) I really hope what happened to you happens to me! I would really love to feel like me again. Thanks for posting this, you have given me hope!

Honestly I cannot begin to tell you how much better my mental health is. I was under the crisis team for CPTSD, had therapy. Every day was a battle to stay alive. The anxiety was crippling and I just lost so many friends because I couldn’t manage friendships with the anxiety.

dont get me wrong the issues are still there but I can cope with them like I did years ago.

i hope you find this too.

mondaytosunday · 18/04/2026 23:40

Wait and see. A third of women have no or mild symptoms so don’t go running to your doctor unless symptoms rev up. I never went because I didn’t need to.

SweetnsourNZ · 19/04/2026 05:47

Laiste · 18/04/2026 09:36

I didn't do anything! Yes a few v mild symptoms so i'm lucky i guess.

My best advice is cut down on your calories cos once you hit meno your body doesn't seem to need to eat anything more than a blackberry a day to pile the weight on 😩🤪

Same. I think I got lucky. After painful periods I was actually relieved.

tonystarksrighthand · 19/04/2026 09:01

@SpringsOnTheWayi was thinking thou that once I taper off and then stop all together, if my symptoms are worse then there is always the option to back on HRT.

We are all so individual there really is not a one size fits all, the amount of different HRT out there is phenomenal alone.

My friend, same age as me 49, tried the first option given to her and boom - worked

Me - 3x different HRT methods and the progesterone side of the cycle I could check out quite frankly, it’s been 2 years of trying what works for me and I’ve made the decision to come off it.

As others have also said, a third sail through with little or no symptoms 🙏🏼

Oh why oh why do us women get the rough rough end!

Wishing everyone a fabulous Sunday

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