Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this way after an event

28 replies

90sbaby123 · 18/04/2026 06:55

Didn't know the best place for this post.

Im mid 30s and i was diagnosed with adhd a few years ago. I always felt like an outsider, a bit awkward, very shy.

Anyway I dont often go out to socialise as tbh I dont have many friends and im also a single mum. Last night I went out to an event with work people. I didn't drink and drove, I often dont drink now because alcohol messes with my head.

It was a fun night but I felt sooooo awkward and i found it so hard to make conversation. When I did make conversation I felt like I was asking awkward questions and kept saying in my head "why did you say that".
Tonight was the first night i could really see/feel my neurodiversity.

I came home and cried because I just felt so shit trying my hardest to mask like I always have.

When I was younger I used alcohol in these situations to make myself loosen up and not care about interactions.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Maybe its just because I dont often go out and have gotten used to being on my own.

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 18/04/2026 09:55

90sbaby123 · 18/04/2026 09:49

Yes i have a therapist. We havent touched on my adhd yet. Just still unpick past traumas

It is the ADHD but it’s not just the ADHD.

I think the big thing is learning to accept that’s the way you are, that it’s perfectly fine to be the way you are and that you want different things from what some other people want.

One trick is to go to these things, stay half an hour then leave and enjoy the feeling of freedom when you escape. Once you come to know yourself then you can give yourself what you know you need and want.

I can’t work out if you wanted to stay or if you’re berating yourself because you didn’t want to stay but feel that you should have wanted that.

90sbaby123 · 18/04/2026 11:41

HoppityBun · 18/04/2026 09:55

It is the ADHD but it’s not just the ADHD.

I think the big thing is learning to accept that’s the way you are, that it’s perfectly fine to be the way you are and that you want different things from what some other people want.

One trick is to go to these things, stay half an hour then leave and enjoy the feeling of freedom when you escape. Once you come to know yourself then you can give yourself what you know you need and want.

I can’t work out if you wanted to stay or if you’re berating yourself because you didn’t want to stay but feel that you should have wanted that.

I did want to stay but just felt awkward

OP posts:
Harry12345 · 19/04/2026 14:55

I’m the exact same and I just don’t go out much anymore. I don’t enjoy social things at all unless I drink, I used to think I had a drink problem but it’s just so much easier and I actually enjoy being social if drinking. Now with peri menopause I can’t drink as it makes me unable to function the next day and I get so anxious so I just don’t go out anymore as I wouldn’t enjoy it and be absolutely drained afterwards! I try to be kinder to myself now in my 40s and also if it’s such hard work they’re just not people for you anyway. I will say I’m even struggling to be social with close friends now without alcohol too, feel really boring now tbh

New posts on this thread. Refresh page