Awful haircut...

[JoyousSquid]

I've been growing my hair out for 2+ years from a pixie cut and finally got to shoulder length. I got a haircut from my usual hairdresser the other day, and it's so awful. He is my usual hairdress of 4+ years who did the short pixie cuts has been dying my hair since I started growing out. I'm so upset.

I asked for a few blunt layers at the front to give some shape and to keep the length. I have very fine hair and so need to keep the bulk of it to keep it looking okay. He has done really choppy, wispy layers all over and it looks so thin now. I was able to tie it back into a nice bun-style before and now I can barely get it back as the ends are so choppy. It looks awful out – really dated very, very thin. It also just doesn't suit my style at all. I was actually happy with it before it was cut for the first time in almost 2 years and was excited to have a bit of a style cut, but he's just ruined it. I think it's going to take about 6 months to grow it back to what it was.

I feel like crying. I'm going through perimenopause and feeling really uncertain about myself as it is as I'm dealing with dry skin and outbreaks that I've never had before, and my hair is thinning anyway. It also cost me £180 to get this done... plus I have some important work / social events coming up and am going to feel really self-conscious now

I don't really know what my AIBU is – I know it's not unreasonable to stop using him as a hairdresser, but it's complicated by the fact that we are also friends outside of him being my hairdresser. I think I just needed to vent.

I have fine hair that grows verrrrry slowly, so I totally understand how you feel.
If you are friends could you perhaps ask him for help styling it? Say you're having trouble doing it yourself and need tips?

@Isometimeswonder thank you for understanding! I posted this then thought I might get a bunch of replies saying I'm over reacting! tbh I'm so upset about the haircut I just don't want to speak with him right now. I also think he knows it's not what I asked for and isn't a good cut. Even when he doesn't cut it and just dyes it, he normally shows me the back with a mirror and for this cut he didn't say anything when he finished or show me the back... I didn't realise just how much he'd taken out either until I left and looked at it properly in the mirror.

I feel so badly for you! I too have fine, thin hair and am in the process of growing it out from a chin length bob, top layered ( for volume) haircut. I have a long way to go, for the bottom half of my fine textured hair is 'see through thin' from the top layers having to catch up with the bottom, so I feel your upset, I really do.

For you to have endured the time to grow your hair to a good length, to have told your hair stylist friend precisely what you wanted and to have had it layered in such a different way to ruin the shape and texture, is really inexcusable.

Was he annoyed perhaps, that you hadn't been in to have a haircut since you began growing it out?

However you did say you were getting regular colouring done by him, so he must have been aware of your long 'journey' to attaining the length you wanted.

Before you leave him and find a hairstylist who will LISTEN and not do what they think is best for your hair type and texture, without consulting you, maybe ask the friend WHY he ignored your instructions with no conversation about it?

Find someone and go for an honest pre-cut consultation to see if anything can be done to make it better as you grow it out again.
It's not much consolation, but some studies show that hair grows 10-15% quicker in the summer. I feel your pain though, I really do.

Ah I feel for you, I think we’ve all been there 😢
my biggest advice to you is leave it. Absolutely leave it. Going back to try and rectify it just means you’ll have even more cut off. Don’t do that, just leave it be and let it grow. I know it seems a really long time but it will grow and recover.
id be here all day if I told you every bad haircut I’ve ever had and every growing out stage I’ve endured. I know it feels rubbish today but you will just have to be patient.

with regards to being friends , I think you’ve got to let that go. Some hairdressers can only do certain styles and he was out of his depth here. That’s ok but he should have said that. Also remember whilst you’re worried about being mates …he still charged you and it certainly wasn’t mates rates. You paid him for a service that he couldn’t do.

I actually think to save your friendship, DO find another hairdresser. He was obviously great at pixies, this is now not his thing. And you both know that

You could consider a topper ?

I feel.your pain op as I was in the same position!

Grew out a pixie, have fine wierd lifeless hair with a slight wave, evebtually got it to a short sort of bob,always ecxplaned to the hairdresser happy to invert / stack the back but don't put layers at front / sides as hair just bizzarely waves around rather than bring part of style... he cut a very very layered (like short choppy bits near top!) Sort of bob that I k ew would just look like a pile of random.fluff around my head when i washed it.

I was gutted.

It was the week running up to Christmas snd I managed to get an appointment the day before Christmas eve in a little high street salon where for £28 this lady did the best pixie cut with a choppy heavy fringe - i decided to cut my losses and go short again as I knew with my hair type by not listeni g to me it would be so shit rather than keep a shit cut that would take months to recifty I mught as well re grow from a good cut.

Deffo go back - at £180 you shouldn't be unhappy! You nedd to ask for him to book you back in asap to plan how to rectify it x

Why do they not listen???

I think I'm just going to not touch it and try not to look in the mirror for a while! I just want it to grow out again... Having said that, I've got a consultation with another hairdresser on Friday, not to cut just to talk about if they are a good fit. I just don't trust my previous hairdresser with my hair now (friend or not!)

I hear you op.
My last trip to the hairdressers was 3 year ago and it was my last time ever.
I never got what I asked for.
It was awfully awful, showed pitcher of what I wanted, came out with a shaved head and a bit of fluff on top, I looked ridiculous.
I got home and shaved it off completely and started again.
3 years on my hair is way over my shoulders, and I cut it myself, if I want a trim.

Go to someone who is Toni & Guy TRAINED.
But you have to be crystal clear with what you want with ALL hairdressers.
Take an image(s) of the cut(s) you like and show the hairdresser and discuss it with them. Is it possible, are they able to do it etc etc.

Experiment with hairbands and bandanas. Take the focus off your hair if you feel self conscious.. At 50 I asked teen dd if I was too old for a hard hairband. She told me straight I can wear whatever I want!! So I do!

At £180 get back there and complain like mad!

Just came home with the same ruined haircut...totally not what I asked...I didn't want layering, no blunt lines...at the end she literally went around my hair in a straight line and I now have awful whispy layers that look disconnected. Will take me ages to grow out to something I can get fixed again...dang those hairdressers who pretend they listen and then just do their own thing