Midlife SOS

[BumblePan]

Posting here for traffic. I have spent the last hour crying after seeing photos of a family wedding.
I thought I looked well, but I got such a shock at the person in the photos.
My face is really puffy and round. I am fat around the middle area, peri menopause, thinning hair, stressed etc.
I need to do something about it, it's been so gradual that I didn't notice or else I was in denial.
I was looking online and there are loads of cortisol coaches, personal trainers etc but I don't have that amount of funds available.
Has anyone been in this situation and sorted themselves out without paying for help? Thanks in advance xx

Watching with interest x
Im the same

If it’s peri, have you considered HRT?
I wouldn’t waste my money on a cortisol coach but I do think a good exercise regime helps. I use ClassPass, I know I would never get out for just a general gym session, and I no longer have access to an (affordable) PT.

Yes started to eat clean healthier foods , no snacking, to help with the weight . Work out five mornings a week before work to help with the mind and body ! Which in turn means going to bed earlier by 11pm as up at 6 am now .. Huge cut back on alcohol . Also cut off people who are not good for me .
Started iron tablets for thinning hair and energy levels .
slowly the changes are coming . Body is getting trimmer , mind is getting calmer

Plenty of mindfulness and meditation audios online to help with stress management. I try to do 10 minutes first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.
I get out and exercise at lunch at least three times a week. Start with a basic gym membership, no need for PT. Again, plenty of training information online. Lifting weights massively helped with how I am feeling as well as keeping weight in check.
Good skincare. Doesn't have to be massively expensive as long as you are consistent.
Good haircut hides the multitude of sins. I've had think hair my entire life and decided in my mid 20s that there is no point flogging a dead horse and cut it short. Never looked back!

There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself without spending a ton of money on "coaches".

Honestly, the expensive things are just fads. There's no science behind cortisol issues causing a puffy face (unless you have a specific and relatively rare condition such as Cushings syndrome). And a personal trainer is nice to have but far from essential. Ingesting collagen doesn't change your skin either, that's the other one I see a lot of!
Some of what you're experiencing is an inevitable part of aging. But prioritising sleep, eating well (eg extra fruit and veg, limiting alcohol) going for walks outdoors and if you want to, doing some fitness/yoga/dance (whatever you enjoy) from YouTube will make a much bigger difference than any supplements or trends you can spend ££££s on.

Thanks for all the replies. I have gone down a rabbit hole looking at things online.
Loads of cortisol and collagen ads, it just feels adds pressure that all these things are essential.

@Fidgety31 How long did it take before you started to feel a difference?

First step tomorrow is youtube mindfulness x

Only do one habit per week and stack them as you go. Don’t try and do it all at once because your resolve gets tired if you try to wing it on will power.

First, I would make a mood board (old fashioned way using magazines or use Pinterest) and put on it hairstyles you like, clothes styles you like, exercise you want to do, places you want to go etc - then put that somewhere visible. This is so you know what you are aiming for.

Then write a list of habits you want to form and put that up somewhere visible. Something like:

1. Mindfulness on YouTube 3 x week or 10 mins at 6.50am before getting up
2. Drink a glass of water on waking
3. Go for a walk after dinner on a Mon, Wed, Fri
4. Book haircut and make sure I book next appointment before I leave
5. Book Pilates course
6. Remove dairy and gluten for one week

Start with week one Mindfulness, then on week two you would do mindfulness plus drink water etc

I have recently learnt the hard way to go slower actually gets me further in the end, because I stopped trying to do to much at once. Good luck!

There is no supplement that will achieve the change you are seeking. Boring answer is consistency - consistent exercise (whatever you can do as regularly as posbile), consistent healthy eating (cut out sugary snacks and alcohol). Do that over months and years and you can at least manage your health, energy and to an extent, your appearance (better skin, thicker hair, more muscle tone).

I've always found that when I simply eat three meals a day (as mentioned by Fidgety31) and do more walking everything starts to improve. Including my mood, which TBH when I stop doing those things starts to feel as sluggish as my body.
This is luckily the perfect season for getting out and about and healthy foods.
The key to all of this is of course, to be kind to yourself OP x

I think the first thing is to get out of the mindset that you can throw money at coaches, trainers, gym memberships and all manner of fancy diets, supplements, creams and potions, but none of it will radically change you by next week, which sounds like what you are after. (Aren’t we all?!)

Look at this as a wake up call to make a long term, sustainable plan and do all the sensible and mostly free things that PPs have suggested.

I appreciate all the responses everybody.

@MagpiePi you've picked up on something i couldn't articulate very well. I feel the problem requires money to solve it, which i don't have. It is indeed a wake up call and I need to listen to that.

@Sweetbeansandmochi I am going to use your points as a framework. That's something achievable and fun.

@Sweetbeansandmochi has a good point about not trying to change everything at once and to make the changes realistic and achievable.

Hello,
I’m older than you! My looks are fading. Photos tell a disappointing story but ..

The gym has helped. Not for muscle burn, just a bit more strength training. Weights are good.
Swimming has helped

Cutting out sugar has really helped. No biscuits, cake, fizzy drinks, even sugar free ones are off the menu.

Lots more water.
Early to bed.
Don’t take the car to the local shop, walk!

Incremental changes do stack up & make a huge difference.
Try it. It’s a life long discipline. 🥴

No sugar...is life worth living?! Ha, just jealous as I have a major sweet tooth. Honestly I think the combination of a stressful few years plus perimenopause has done a number on me but this thread is a gentle reminder that there are still a few things I can do to look and feel better, even if I'll never look twenty again!