AIBU to avoid junior ISAs because children get access at 18?

[flipfloplaugh]

I was about to start a junior ISA for my kids when I realised they would get the money no strings attached at 18. That's insane!! They're small at the moment, and I have no idea what they will be like at 18... I would have probably wasted a bit of it at 18, but several of my friends would have blown it all almost instantly on absolute nonsense. The v few people I know who have trust funds have trustees to stop daft usage and don't get the money until at least 25 and possibly later. Why on earth would I save money now to have it potentially wasted by some dingbat 18 year old??

This feels quite manipulative, if I were your DD I wouldn't be passing these letters on. A conversation with the DC about your hopes & wishes for how they use the cash would be more appropriate.

I think this letter is really good. It spells out hopes and wishes and why they saved the money. It doesn't make demands it makes suggestions. A lot less manipulative that OPs suggestion of charging a stupidly high rent and saving it on his behalf.

A pot of cash + hopes, wishes & suggestions expressed from beyond the grave still feels manipulative to me so I wouldn't be party to it.

As long as they're not writing it as if they're the grandparents, in a "I speak to you from this next life!" kind of way I don't see at as manipulative. Manipulative is what OP and several other posters want to see, an interfering mother secretively enforcing financial planning without consent. Gentle guidance and advice on spending a large gift is sensible and wise.

Of course it’s not ‘manipulative’! You must have some funny ideas of the meaning of that word.

A loving letter from a GP who may well no longer be around?

If they're heading off to Uni, could this go towards their weekly shopping and beers? That's what my parents did. I didn't spent it wildly as I knew full well they'd not help if I had been irresponsible.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER
When I was having cancer treatment a few years ago I did think about the letters that I would possibly need to write to my then 12 & 9yo DC, at no point would I have expressed any opinions on how they used the inheritance I would leave them.
I find this subject quite upsetting because I needed to give it so much thought when I was sure I was going to leave them motherless (but financially ok)
It's just my opinion and I don't want to upset anyone else.

You're not upsetting me, we're just having a chat and debating. That must have been tough to face and I can see why this is triggering to some degree.

Bloody hell, they'll be 50, not dead!!

Yes, large milestones will be behind them, but the tax refund followed by compound interest for forty plus years will be amazing and will still be hugely beneficially to them.

Whilst you don't know what they'll be like at 18, as their parent you do have the opportunity to ensure they're not a complete dingbat!

Well, they might be dead!

My point was that most of the points in life where money would be useful or critical will be behind them, and many opportunities lost forever.

But it doesn't have to be just one option. People are always looking for the one perfect solution, but if a JISA is available too young and a pension when they're too old, the savings could be split. Teaching your child about long v short term savings and high v low risk is very important, and starting them off for them will be really helpful as then they can simply add to them (everyone seems to be assuming that their kids will be completely feckless at 18!)

I do actually know of someone with cancer who stipulated in her will to her IIRC late teen - but officially adult - children, that the legacy they were going to receive should be very largely used to buy themselves houses.

AFAIK they complied, and I dare say were glad later, since it wasn’t long afterwards that prices were shooting into the stratosphere.

I’ve just been through this process with ds and his child trust fund. He didn’t have a clue how to access it, so I controlled the whole process which was not easy at all. Multiple phone calls and they didn’t have signature for him so had to prove identity. He would not have been able to do it himself.
I still have control of it. Basically transferred it to an isa but it’s accessed online and he doesn’t know the passwords.
he knew he was never getting access to it. It’s for uni and car/house deposit and travelling

I won’t tell him where the money is if he’s not sensible

My children received theirs at 18 and they have spent it wisely. My daughter has used hers to go to university and my son invested part of his in a long term Isa.
The bank I invested it in emailed me several months before their 18th birthday and we had an online meeting to discuss all the options. No correspondence was sent to them as it was opened with me as the parent.
I don't know who you have invested it with but I advise you to inquire.
They ultimately have the final decision but you can discuss all the options.

My kids have Bonds / Junior ISAs as that money is protected for them, regardless of divorce (they are not an asset of marriage) or if I was to die at risk of being used by DH leaving them with nothing as my personal savings accounts could be.

Are you planning to leave them financially uneducated until they go to university?
If you do not trust them to be sensible with their ISA, how do you trust that they are they going to make informed decisions about student debt?

Agree, we started JISAs and then stopped. They have about 10k in each (they're 4 and 1), no more will go in there and I've got another ISA I put money into (in my name) which I'll use for them as well

DD’s Child Trust Fund (she was born before Junior ISAs) is for university fees. So yes, she could blow it all at 18, but if she does she’ll have take the loans and repay them- her choice. If she blows it, so be it; she’ll learn a valuable lesson.

I was given approx £250k at 18 and spent £8k on travelling. I have since had a very normal life, good job, house etc and have been gifted large sums since. It didn't cross my mind to blow any of it!

I think this is a bit optimistic. I have 3 siblings, all brought up the same with the same values, by financially very savvy parents - yet as adults all have completely different attitudes to spending, from tight as a gnats arsehole, saver, spendthrift and bankrupt!

This. Just save in your own ISAs and can then decide what to do when they’re older.

Then teach your kids to be responsible with money?

I really don't like this '18 year olds shouldn't get access to money' idea - my siblings and I inherited a decent amount at that age from relative; we'd been told it was coming, we knew it was enough for a deposit on our own place and that's what we used 90% of it for because it would have been dumb not to. Not all 18 year olds lack any sense about money - especially if you prepare them and let them know what it's worth and what they can do with it.

My oldest is about to get a chunk of money on their 18th from their ISA (nothing like what I got and wouldn't have been a deposit's worth back when I was 18, but still a decent amount).TBH I don't think they'll be great with it in terms of using it for themselves, I have tried but they are one of those people who is not great at keepin track! I still want them to have it when they are 18 though.

They're not going to spend it on frivolous things but I can see them giving it away to help other people, which is lovely and laudable but I have warned them they will need some of it when they leave uni so not spend all of it. We'll see how that goes but I will stand by my decision to give it to them now.

I handed the ISA over to my daughter on her 18th birthday. She has been brought up to be financially aware and has been adding to the funds ever since. Explain compound interest to your children and they will enjoy saving.