to think that women are all bitches.

[wannaBe]

... Well most of them anyway.

so go into the playground, and there are little cliques of women all standing about chatting and whispering about other people.

Go to PTA meeting and there are a couple of little cliques of women all talking and whispering and shutting out those who are not clique-worthy.

Go to the park and the groups of women stand around talking about other people, slagging off other children in the class and talking about the husbands of their friends who they think are prats.

... And so it goes on.

It just seems to be everywhere and I think it's not a nice trate of women at all.

And it's so easy to say that I don't want to be part of it, but if you're not prepared to subscribe to the bitchfest then in reality you don't stand a chance.

why would we talk about the king of Jordan

is he worth gossiping about ?

I have only come across this once, at a small playgroup in my mother's village.

I think you are a bit unlucky because my dd is 8 and it had not been like this for me in the park or at school. I live in a small city - is this more of a village thing?

lol lulu I think I need to get a job. .

I think I've just noticed it more recently because have come up against a lot of it in the past couple of weeks really.

am on the PTA and it is extremely cliquey which doesn't bother me as such as I'm not there to make friends - I'm there to help the school, but it has come to the fore more recently as the fate is upcoming and they're all out to get their hands on their little bit of the empire iyswim?

Plus I have kind of fallen out of favour with my usual group of friends. Not because of a falling out, but because I've been busy doing other things, off to the jim after school run etc so not had time to stick around and chat.

So today I was in the park and these people, most of whom I would have considered friends, were standing chatting about everything/everyone, including slagging off a child in their child's class, and the soon-to-be husband of someone else who used to be their friend but who they've decided shouldn't be any more as she has other friends of her own apparently.

It was just all gossip gossip gossip and all of it negative. And it made me take a real step back and wonder if I really want to be a part of that. And actually I'm not sure if I do. But if I were to walk away from it then I walk away from the only friends I really have, and making friends isn't something I'm very good at, hence my statement that if you're not prepared to be part of the bitchfest then options are limited.

i'll be your friend!!

you will make other friends.. people do gravitate to warm and friendly people..

it is good to take stock sometimes, and see that you are friends for the right reasons and if you have not out grown or moved on from certain relationships

I've noticed that people, sorry - women around here with small children sort of go out of their way NOT to be bitchy. Its refreshing.

There is the odd stoneyfaced hound pushing a pram who will not return your smile, but usually this makes me laugh (quietly and to myself of course, not ostentatiously).

There's a difference between being bitchy and indulging in a bit of gossip imo. ANd ime men are just as partial to a bit of gossip as women!

Basically I'm pretty nosy and like to have details to form a picture of someone or something.

Agree with MI basically.

oh yes they can be

but lets not forget men

men are bigger bitches by FAR

Am I the only person who admits to being bitchy sometimes?

I'm not 'bitchy' to people in the playground btw, just can be 'bitchy' about slebs or people I have a reason for not liking.

I cannot honestly believe there isn't someone that you don't slag off on the phone to your bezzy mate.

I have to say everyone is pretty friendly at DD's school TBH, DD joined in year 1 so the DC's had all been together in nursery and reception before we turned up and everyone was lovely.

Might just eb cos I'm so wonderful they all wanted to be my friend, natch...

I'm a bitch (but a funny one) and a gossip.
Men gossip too, and my dh and his mate can be a right pair of bitches sometimes.

I reckon its human nature and anyone who says they don't indulge in either vice either never talks or is Mother Theresa.

But I'm not JUST a bitch, like some people!

I think you'll find I've already admitted to my Inner Bitch, VS

I notice work cliques. And playground groups, if pushed. But I've never noticed people muttering, no.

I think fairymum might have a point actually. They are just the people you notice

MI, just be grateful you dont have to do our school gates if yours are pleasant enough

Actually I bloody love the school gates. They're friendly and I get to catch up with a bunch of women I like very much, and yes sometimes we end up delaying our departure for home/work by standing on a corner talking frenetically about the dilemmas of work/life/school/blokes/childcare...but frankly those tend to be our own dilemmas.

The school gates have added quite a lot of human company to my previously slightly hermit-like week (I work from home a lot).

I can be bitchy too (with people I know and not in earshot of the intended party - not that I actually know Keira Knightly when I'm rude about her pouting )

There are definitely two types of women in the playground. Those that do and those that don't. I don't.

You have to remember (OP) that anyone standing around bitching about anyone else is suffering major inferiority complexes and probably hates themselfe more than anyone they slag off.

And as for the gossipy element, I think that always has and will be a part of society - and again its where other conversational topics can't be found - there's no common ground or the talkers aren't very interested in thinking beyond the confines of their own existence.

Reading that back, it actually sounds bitchy, so there you go - seems to be no escaping it1

Yes, you are BU.

None of my friends is a bitch. I may have participated in gossip when I was younger, but I've learnt the hard way that everybody's turn comes. Now I know several things that might be considered rather titillating and I find it easy to sit on them.

I agree with MotherInferior. PTA gang at my DCs' school are all confident and outgoing, but they are not unfriendly. They perhaps don't need to make new friends, but they won't put up walls if you make yourself likeable to them.

There's nothing wrong with being inferior

I honestly do not share your experience. Unless everyone at the gates is bitching about me - and frankly I'm not that interesting; or alternatively I've suddenly become so ravishingly marvellous that cliques just open, Red Sea-like to receive me [hmmm]

LOL MI, I read that as 'I work cliques' I thought, go you

I love you Wannabe .. but yes YABU .. a big fat hairy YABU

I think I know what's happening though

every so often most women I know go through a paranoid phase: it seems that all of a sudden they are worried about the state of their friendships and that people don't actually like them, just pretend for propriety's sake - I've done it myself I know, and at least 3 of my more honest friends do it too

I think you're just being paranoid.

YABU and maybe a bit paranoid as well

Oh yes, I am convinced that several people I know are blanking me at any given time. Madly. I worry about it, to a quite disproportionate degree, and don't dare confront the people in question.

One of the Dads in my DC's school murdered his first wife. And I have not passed on that piece of information.

god if you think the playground is bad, try the nct

cliques that try to help you

(ducks and runs very fast )