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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

567 replies

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

OP posts:
Nogimachi · 16/04/2026 13:17

Howdidlifegetsobusy · 16/04/2026 12:51

How about you do you, and let them do them.

at 51 I cannot wait to be in a position to work less. I am parenting both my elderly parents, and my children (teens), my job is constantly stressful and feel like I am always spinning too many plates.

I would love to be able to take life at a better pace, be less anxious, and have time for sports, learning new skills etc. there is nothing idle about having worked to have a decent pension, and allowing the pace to be more healthy.

everyone is different - I probably would do more voluntary work (have always done some and worked in the sector), but what motivates and keeps once person motivated is not going to be the same for everyone.

I am exactly the same.

britnay · 16/04/2026 13:20

Early 40's and I would retire tomorrow if I could. I would find plenty of things to keep myself entertained and wouldn't give a fuck if anyone thought any of it was boring.

wearemorethanourboots · 16/04/2026 13:23

I think either you are someone who gets bored easily or you're not. I'm in a corporate senior-ish role and hoping to retire at 57 in a few years time, if all goes to plan (bloody Trump and his war is affecting my pension pot at the min!).

I have no grand ambitions for my retirement - we have an old house that always needs stuff doing, so I will aim to improve my DIY and gardening skills, I will go to yoga and maybe start another sport type thing. I might start a little sideline dogsitting or walking, nothing too full on. I will read, and read, and read, and do jigsaws, and catch up with friends, and go for walks in the countryside, I would like to learn to play the piano, and I will keep house and cook DH's tea every night, and just potter about doing allll the things that I've not had the time to do in 40 years of work (left school at 16, never went to Uni, never had a career break, never had maternity leave as no DCs).

Hopefully travel will feature somewhere but not 'big' travel as such, we've seen quite a bit of the world already, and DH will still be working for a while as he's younger than me. I do already and will continue to do solo trips.

I can't bloody wait! I think as long as you keep active and connected to community, actual 'work' is overrated. But then I don't love my job and never have, it's something I do to earn enough money to pay the bills and have a decent lifestyle.

Anonymouseposter · 16/04/2026 13:37

It’s not necessary to be in work or join an organisation to have a purpose. You can invite a friend who’s upset for lunch and listen to them, you can offer someone a lift to the hospital, you can babysit, you can help a friend in their garden. The thing is this sort of thing isn’t publicly recognised but why does that matter, it doesn’t stop it being a purpose. You can also study something for interest without going after a qualification.

Norugratsatall · 16/04/2026 13:50

I am 62 and retired a month ago. My passion is gardening (what every day?! Well yes most because I have a large garden and I enjoy it!) but I also sew, paint, sing in a choir (for which I’m also Treasurer) as well as the usual stuff like seeing friends and family and attending theatre and talks etc. Does that make me boring? I would hope not….

not having work take up headspace has been amazing though.

I guess we’re all different!

Jo7890123 · 16/04/2026 13:54

You're heavily judging their choices, by referring to their retirement activities as 'idleness' in the title - I suspect they see their days as very enjoyable r&r, with leisure activities they have looked forward to for years...

It's one thing to be concerned that they may get bored (tho thats really something they can easily address, if it becomes an issue..), but your "I just think they will become so boring!", seems a bit as tho You're worried they won't offer YOU sufficient entertainment! If so, find some new, working mates - problem solved!

Glindaa · 16/04/2026 14:02

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:46

Exactly this. My mum died at 88, dad currently 87 both fully with it. I am likely to be alive another 30 years. How many coffees, lunches out and walks can I do!

I’m sure those too wealthy to work manage just fine ! It’s just socially instilled in the working classes that to live is to work. If you can’t think of better things to do than work then you’re lacking in imagination ( or money!)

shuggles · 16/04/2026 14:05

@Scotsknowbest Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

Where did you get this magical crystal ball that told you that you will live until 85? That's a very ambitious life expectancy and most people don't live that long.

Whenever I read about deaths in the news, I would say that deaths under the age of 70 are far more frequent than over 70.

Lemonandlimetrees · 16/04/2026 14:12

Perhaps the reason you're finding retirement difficult to understand is that you're thinking about it only as stopping something that is your main source of purpose and meaning. Instead, retirement is best seen as a transition from something to something. Many people don't pay enough attention to setting up a post-retirement life that gives them any benefits they got from work (e.g. social contact, feeling useful, feeling skilled, being valued, achieving things...).

I probably didn't pay as much attention to this as I could have before retiring at 59 (too focused on leaving something toxic behind that was ruining my health & dominated most waking hours). However, I now write, record and arrange music, am learning to paint, am a school governor, am learning a language, travel more, have more time to help elderly parents and really value having more time for living well e.g. cooking healthily, keeping fit, pottering in the garden. It does need thought & planning though, to create a good retirement. It doesn't just happen.

Eeyorefan · 16/04/2026 14:16

ForCosyLion · 16/04/2026 03:56

Can I ask how people retire in their early fifties? Is it from public-sector pensions, or from having been a high earner in the private sector and having a generous company pension? I'm just curious.

Well my dad currently in his 80s worked 40 years for a company with a final salary pension scheme and retired mid 50s

Namingbaba · 16/04/2026 14:19

I just think they will become so boring!
I don't understand how work makes you interesting. I guess it depends what you do but my office work makes me more boring I'm sure. I'd love to retire then. I'm 40 and I'd retire now if I could!

LovelyCoconuts · 16/04/2026 14:20

Following with interest. My pension figures look like I could retire at 55. Ie in 10 years. Have been thinking a lot recently about what I actually want to do with my life!

glitterpaperchain · 16/04/2026 14:20

I think it's really sad when people can't imagine life without work. They must be incredibly boring people. I could be unemployed and still not have enough time to do everything I want to do! Good on your friends for living life for themselves not for an employer.

SunConure · 16/04/2026 14:20

I am still not sure about the motivation for your post

IHearViolins · 16/04/2026 14:49

How can you not think of things to do in retirement, I have hobbies that I can't wait to spend more time on, and not be woken by an alarm, or be tied to work hours
Holidays when I want them, studying things I am curious about, going swimming, more hiking, more books, cinema in the daytime, museums whenever, where ever, see family when I want, visit towns and cities at cheaper times, so much to do
I plan on retiring at 60 but sooner if I can, and am in my fifties

ThatWaryLimePeer · 16/04/2026 14:54

Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?)

Work, what, every day?

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 16/04/2026 14:56

My grandad retired in his early fifties due to a heart attack and went on to live almost another half century.

I'm working towards retiring in my early fifties, balancing that with being more available for my son whilst he's young and enjoying his childhood.

I've had several periods of being out of work and have worked part time (career break, between jobs, mat leave) and have never had the slightest problem occupying myself.

Work just doesn't hold any value status to me that I couldn't get myself - social, intellectual. Once I don't need it for money, I won't need it for the rest either.

JLou08 · 16/04/2026 15:00

YABU. How can it be beyond you to understand that not everyone thrives from being busy working. Some enjoy a more leisurely pace and spending time socialising with actual friends and family rather than colleagues. People can find their own means of stimulation, not everyone needs a job to fulfill them.

HundredsOfTinyWillies · 16/04/2026 15:01

ForCosyLion · 16/04/2026 03:56

Can I ask how people retire in their early fifties? Is it from public-sector pensions, or from having been a high earner in the private sector and having a generous company pension? I'm just curious.

I'm retiring at 48.

I'm funding this through taking an income from interest on investments and 3% investment drawdown (that'll bridge 48 - 65) and then workplace pension (from 65 onwards).

I have a fairly decent workplace pension.
I'm not a hugely high earner but I earn decent money.
DH earns better than me and we share finances.
Every penny works hard for us.
We live a pretty simple life - not deliberately, we just simple things which are also pretty cheap - which has enabled us to save a lot.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 16/04/2026 15:04

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

The catalyst for retiring isn't always a financial one though, though a level of financial security is needed/helpful. I am 55, and I have retired twice now... You might say that that's because I retired too early in the first place...but...the reality is more complex.

I am 55. My husband was 47 when he died, and at that time we were financially secure - I'd been in 'C' suite jobs for more than 10 years. I had always planned on stepping back at 50ish to just focus on non-exec work, with a bit of charitable work and some consulting thrown in. Semi retirement if you like. Not long after he died I decided to simplify my life - we had properties in three counties, and in 2 countries. I got rid of most of them. In the cold light of day the return on these rented out was far less than if the cash had been equities, and they consumed far more bandwidth than I wanted to give. I am now left with a house in London, and a place in Italy.

I accelerated the exit from full time to work to consulting / non exec work and semi retirement once he died, and after an 18 month break, mainly over covid. that's what I did. But, I soon found that I was actually working harder than I had been before....albeit for even more money. Money that I didn't really need. So I gave up work completely when I was 53. While married and working full time my social circle was fairly small, in terms of those I saw regular, and, quite frankly, fairly homogenous. But now I have a wider circle of friends with varying backgrounds and of varying ages, who I catch up or meet or do things with more often. They are not all retired, but they also don't all work full time, or don't wok in regular Monday to Friday roles. I have the opportunity to do more things, locally in my community, and with family and friends, to travel, to support things that matter to me. My parents are in their 80s and fit and heathy, but I am acutely aware that won't be the case for ever, so I am happy that I can make the most of time right now. And, quite frankly, my husband dropped dead at 47 - life is fragile, and can be short. So never mind work-life balance, I now have a far better life balance and feel more fulfilled than I ever did while working Even though I have lost the man I spent the best part of 25 years with.

What did work bring me, other than money? Well, there was, I thought, job satisfaction and a sense of self worth. Looking back, the status and self worth element of working was, in the end, just plastering over the fact that I wasn't really always in control of what I did and when. Someone, somewhere always wanted something. Now, its all in my control.

I loved my work, my job, the difference I made, the people and careers I developed, the sense of being part of something. And yes, the money was nice But my life now is more rewarding on far more levels. But, I accept, that is underpinned by a level of security that my career gave me. However, what brought that sharply into focus was the death of my husband, and the realisation that I already had enough - indeed, more than many. I didn't need to work any longer, so I didn't.

LoremIpsumCici · 16/04/2026 15:11

Sorry to not read the entire thread, Yanbu of course if someone is healthy and has no caring responsibilities retirement will get boring very quickly.

I just want to point out, and again apologies if someone has already done this, that the majority of those who retire between 50 and 67 do so due to injury or illness.

Perhaps some of the people you know are doing a sabbatical. I once hired a 60 year old who had ‘retired’ at 40 after building a successful business who said he decided to retire in the middle of life when he was still young enough to do adventurous things.

ultracynic · 16/04/2026 15:12

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:46

Exactly this. My mum died at 88, dad currently 87 both fully with it. I am likely to be alive another 30 years. How many coffees, lunches out and walks can I do!

You can’t assume you will live as long as your parents, that’s not how it works. My dad was 25-30 years younger than his parents were at age of death.

Also, nobody ever said on their deathbed they wished they’d spent more time at the office. Retirement is only boring for those that lack imagination (or are restricted by health/finances).

cardibach · 16/04/2026 15:15

@LoremIpsumCici
Yanbu of course if someone is healthy and has no caring responsibilities retirement will get boring very quickly
Of course? How do you arrive at that conclusion? Why would retirement be boring? You can do whatever you like (money is a constraint as ever, but many fun things are free or cheap). It shows a massive lack of imagination and sense of self to think that ‘of course’ a retired person would be bored.

Allergictoironing · 16/04/2026 15:18

Due to various periods of ill health keeping me from working, both physical and mental illness, I know there's no way I could survive on the couple of small company pensions I have. I will need to be getting the state pension as well to be able to afford to keep a roof over my head, eat, run a car (required for my disabilities) and keep 2 cats well - the cats are very important for my mental health! I may well end up having to keep working part time after I hit 67 as well.

I wish I could retire now; I'm in more pain every day I work compared to being at home, the job is mega stressful due to being very under resources (local government), and by the time I get home I'm completely exhausted. I wouldn't be able to do most of the things others have suggested, but the thought of being able to watch documentaries and read (factual) stuff on the internet every day is heaven to me.

Married couples can easily combine 2 career pensions and live reasonably well, but think about someone who is single. Housing costs as much, utilities almost as much, it's only food and some forms of entertainment where 2 cost more than one. At least I DO have a couple of small work pensions, I know many people, especially those in lower paid jobs, who never had a work pension until it was made a legal requirement to offer them as an employer. And I even know a 2-3 who opted out because even that small contribution meant they couldn't afford living.

Taking your pension before 55, with a few exceptions (ill health, certain professions like professional sportsperson or military), can have massive tax cost implications - I think the rate is 55%? So the only sensible way to retire any earlier than this is if you have sufficient investments and savings to tide you over to 55, something most low to middle earning people just won't have had the chance to save for.

LoremIpsumCici · 16/04/2026 15:20

cardibach · 16/04/2026 15:15

@LoremIpsumCici
Yanbu of course if someone is healthy and has no caring responsibilities retirement will get boring very quickly
Of course? How do you arrive at that conclusion? Why would retirement be boring? You can do whatever you like (money is a constraint as ever, but many fun things are free or cheap). It shows a massive lack of imagination and sense of self to think that ‘of course’ a retired person would be bored.

Edited

I based my agreement with the OP on her description of the circle of friends she was specifically referring to. She was not generalising. I should have been clear that I was not generalising either. I would personally find the garden, dog walks, and 2 weeks in Greece boring if that was all that were in my life for 30+ years.

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