How are you supposed to handle this with a three year old? Just so sick of it!!!

[Haddenoughh]

DS is 3.5. A lot of the time he’s very chilled. Only child and was a pretty easy baby (prob not relevant but maybe is relevant to the fact I’m totally taken aback by his behaviour!).

Although I’m a single mum he sees his dad lots (doesn’t stay over as we agreed one base is best for him). Sees grandparents regularly. Has friends at nursery or at least chats about others and seems happy.

An example… a few nights ago he got back from nursery and just refused to come into the house saying he wanted to live in a tent and I wasn’t his best friend anymore because I don’t let him live in a tent. Every time I tried to take him out of the car seat he’d pull my hair or hit me and he did it so hard at one point and at one angle that my face bled a bit. At that point I went into the house and left him in the car so I had a moment to breath and calm down (he was in view from house at all time). I decided to go back and just struggle to get him in the house which involved him kicking me and screaming. We got in the house and he matched upstairs and slammed the door on me and I kept going upstairs saying let’s have a chat, do you want to come down now for dinner etc and I was just hit and screamed at again and again. Eventually I said he could shout me when he had calmed down, this took around 40 minutes, during which time he was crying on and off but having been up and downstairs for so long already I felt that leaving him a bit with him knowing I was ready when he was was the best option. But was it? Was that the right thing to do?

I am quite shocked by how he’s started behaving and I don’t know if it’s just normal. It’s the hitting I really can’t stand and don’t know how to cope with. He’s quite big for his age too so I do struggle with lifting him etc when he’s like this. I would say I am reasonably strict in general with bedtime or tv and so on but then again outside of work almost every hour is dedicated to ensuing he is having a good day. I don’t know if I am doing or not doing something that is causing this behaviour and I don’t know if im dealing with it in the right way.

Feel totally and utterly fed up.

That's still a long day. It's almost 9-5, which for many adults is a standard workday. Are the 3 days all in a row or is it MWF? I can see either one would have advantages and drawbacks. 3 in a row might feel like a lot, but if it's every other day it might be difficult for him to adjust to nursery, home, nursery, home, nursery.

I didn't have any who hit, but I think the meltdowns are totally normal. You haven't answered, but do you give him a snack very first thing? Does he eat at nursery?

@Haddenoughh I didn’t have that with either of my two tbh, but I was very aware that if I didn’t arrive with fruit for my DD she’d be really upset and niggly - she loved her food!

Snacks keep them occupied, quiet and very happy!