“Not going to the Olympics any time soon”

[Lemontreeinthecity]

Just wondering how irritating this might be to others. At the weekend we visited my in-laws. We see them every 4 months or so. Get on ok..expect for when FIL finds out what sport my DS is into..😮‍💨
my DS has been doing well in swimming and is quite high up and about to start squad. Over the weekend we went swimming and my in laws wanted watch him swim.

He’s 7 by the way.

My son and I were in the pool having a great time - he wanted to play and dive and do dolphin swimming, just fun. FIL on the edge of the pool is putting pressure to see him do laps - “come on stop playing let’s do laps etc”
I said to FIL - calm down he’s 7. He wants to play.
eventually he did some laps which caught the attention of the lifeguard who said it was great but add this to this technique etc etc. I was unsure why lifeguard was getting involved (it was a quiet morning at this pool !) but remembered FIL had been talking to them whilst we were changing so lifeguard considered it being “helpful”

I heard FIL mutter something after on the lines of he isn’t going to the Olympics anytime soon.

i want to say something but fear it mught cause an issue.
mg son loves swimming has got into a high class for his age. A correction to his freestyle stroke or technique I feel is up to the swim coach he’s with.
and I’m glad he wasn’t aware of this pressure these adults - really my FIL - were giving off.

FIL hasn’t mentioned the swimming now and seems to have moved on - probably to another grandchild’s new sport. It’s like why be like that.

My parents didn’t do this pressure around sport and I’m fit,healthy and happy.

should I say something? Thanks for reading sorry it’s a ramble.

They’re not invited to watch next time, or DH chaperones them into seats out of earshot? It is far more important that ds builds his confidence and enjoys what he’s doing.

Of course there is no Olympics soon. That’s just how time works.

Do you think I should say something to FIL?

I think I'd leave it now unless he says something else, but I'd probably have addressed the comments there and then, e.g. a pointed "are you a swimming instructor?" or "go on then, get in and show us how it's done!"

Lifeguards are not necessarily swimming teachers either so he needs to butt out too!

Thank you. I think I might leave it as he can be very stubborn and opinionated on things and probably be angry I’ve said HE did something wrong 😑

I’d be tempted to say “There We Are Then” whenever he offers his opinion!

Grandparents like this just want something to boast about. There's one of these at my DS's football club - his grandad brings him without fail and berates him from the sidelines but he's so uninterested that most of the time he doesn't even know which way they are shooting.

I'd leave it for now unless he makes another pointed comment - if he does, something like "Don't be so unfair, he's only 7" might work.

My DH wasn’t with us at the time. He’s away working and I haven’t mentioned it yet.
Theres a long history of FIL thinking each child/grandchild has Olympic potential and nothing else is going to impress.
i am under no illusion that my child is going to the Olympics - I just said he enjoys swimming… and is doing well in his swimming lessons. He’s in a squad prep team. He must be good to be in that. But somehow I’m then being judged and my son being judged by a life guard I do t even know and my own FIL… who now doesn’t even engage with my son about his love for swimming anymore. Like I am considering saying something to be honest. And that pressurising kids in a sport they enjoying doing is totally wrong - he’s bloody seven!!!!

FIL on the edge of the pool is putting pressure to see him do laps - “come on stop playing let’s do laps etc”
I said to FIL - calm down he’s 7. He wants to play.

You did say something to FIL.

I think I might have said something to lifeguard but I don't know.

I would avoid having FIL near any future sporting stuff at all - even fun stuff as this is what he is like and you can't change people just how you react. My reaction would be to say - can't come to pool meet you after going forward.

I wouldn't say anything he'll likely act defensive - I think quiet corrections in the moment like you did are best and manging him so he's not around your kids and sport if at all possible.