AIBU to worry two nursery days a week is not enough?

[justsayitplease]

In many ways this is more of a reassurance thread as I’m not sure what alternatives there are but open to suggestions!

DD goes to nursery for two days a week but they are opposite ends of the week (Monday and Friday.) Probably because of this she’s not massively settled at nursery, doesn’t enjoy it and is very, very quiet, almost to the point of mutism.

Nursery aren’t concerned because they have heard her talking to me and to other children (and if we meet a nursery friend in another setting she identifies them and seems happy to see them) but it is definitely something she endures rather than enjoys.

She turns three this summer and I had her down to increase to one half day a week from September and go up to a full day from January (so three days a week.) However something has been lost in translation and the nursery don’t have a record of this - I don’t know why but it doesn’t matter. The point is there is no room so the Monday and Friday is the only nursery / preschool she’ll get before reception in September 2027.

I am just a bit worried that she’ll start reception without ever having ‘properly’ experienced a social setting, a routine and the other things they teach them in preschool. I have an older child who did three days a week at the same nursery and he got so much out of it, still friends with some children who attended. So I just feel a bit like I’ve let her down.

Find her a new place where she can do her three days all in a row. She will get settled then so knows home us 4 days nursery 3. Then home 2 days school 5.

If she's not happy and settled where she is then you will have to either move her or wait untill school nursery in September. Yes it's a hassle. Everything will be a hassle, you need to work it out and manage it. Belive it or not I've been a mother for 29 years and it's can still he a hassle with my older teens to work things out, not so much my adult one. If she's not happy you need to sort it, this isn't about you

This.

I promise she will manage. My DD didn't go to nursery or preschool AT ALL (she did attend a childminder but out of the school area) so she started school without knowing anyone at all.

She was also a quiet, shy type. She was absolutely fine. Teachers are used to dealing with all different types of kids and personalities and will be able to help her cultivate friendships as they go along

PS I also was absolutely not the type to do baby/toddler groups etc so she didn't go to those either

There isn’t a school nursery @Laserwho

I am concerned that it’s being away from me rather than the place that’s the issue and I obviously don’t want to be trying lots of nurseries to see which it is!

OP she will be fine - she’s probably just a bit too young right now. My DS hated preschool and never settled - cried every day going in. It was just after covid and he hadn’t mixed much with other kids so I put it down to that. Nursery also blamed him and said he wasn’t socialising well with other kids and even hinted at ASD. I was very worried about how he would take to reception.

Anyway it was like night and day. He thrived in reception from day 1, became really confident, made lots of friends (and he doesn’t have ASD or any SEN). Turns out he just really didn’t like that nursery! Anyway I’m not suggesting there is an issue with your DD’s nursery but just saying that not settling at nursery isn’t always an indication that school will be hard. They mature so much between 2 and 4 - it’s double their life.

Thank you I just want everything to go as smoothly as possible for her!

Two days is plenty, she may not be ready for more and she obviously doesn't enjoy it anyway. Nothing is being taken away from her, she'll be fine.