Ex’s false accusations towards me

[BigFishLittleFishes]

Just received a copy of the child impact report regarding a child arrangement order and my ex has made up some horrible lies about me. One lie is that I leave my oldest child alone with our youngest who has complex needs for several hours while I go shopping. (I’ve never done this) Another is that I force my oldest to clean up his siblings 💩 which makes him feel frightened and uncomfortable.

Another - When my ex was asked about my relationship with my children especially my oldest (prior to separation) he said we have always been very distant. (Which isn’t true as we have been very close since birth)

There were many other lies that he wrote including how I do no activities with the children even though I have evidence and photos of everything I do with them. I am shocked at what he’s written especially as I protected him and did not mud sling when I easily could have. (I left him due to abuse but chose not to mention that in my report) I stayed neutral and just talked about child arrangements.

He also mentioned a holiday that I took our child on and how they had a horrible time as they were forced to organise the entire holiday themselves 🙈I have so many photos of my child looking happy and laughing with me(it becomes comical and ridiculous, his accusations)

Another - because I discussed other religions of the world with oldest, I was apparently trying to force other religions on him. We were just having a neutral discussion about different beliefs.

Any advice please? What can I do now? Also if he was so concerned about potential neglect then why only mention it in the CAO report, why not raise the concerns before that?

He will be criticized for his mud slinging. Not surprised an abusive man continues to be abusive to you.

who is applying to court and why? What does he want and what do you want? What stage are you at?

I applied for more formal arrangements as he refused mediation. We are in the early stages of the child impact report being submitted to court then we will attend a first hearing. I shouldn’t be surprised at the lies but I genuinely thought he would stay focused on general arrangements like I did.

You’re correct. The fact that he’s only raising it now and not when the ‘incidents’ occurred will highlight that it’s all utter bollocks. They all try this shite. Court is used to it.
If you have concerns you need to report them immediately.

To calm my mind I’d write a response to each of his allegations, attach evidence if you’ve got it.

You’ve shot yourself in the foot by hiding his abuse. You can’t turn up now and say he was always abusive and is continuing it. Why did you lie?

I think it's to be expected from an abusive man. But the courts see right through it. If he had genuine concerns he should have raised them earlier. Let him crack on with the mud slinging and don't let it put you on the back foot. Well done for leaving him x

I was scared of his reaction and of damaging his reputation. I know…
I wanted the report to only focus on child arrangements and not why I left the marriage.

I'm going through similar.

I have piles and piles of evidence of issues with my ex. All investigated, documented and submitted properly.

However last time in court he said he was frightened to be near me so handover for the children needs to be in a public place

They just told him to grow up. They have heard it all before. Just remain calm and neutral, don't get involved in mud slinging, and get yourself a couple of neutral phrases to say in court that centre things on the childrens wellbeing.

Sorry you are going through similar. Glad the court told your ex to grow up!