Dude here. Middle aged.
My dad died when I was young. Left my 30ish old mom with 5 kids as a single mom. And, while she was a SAHM, she had a bachelors degree and was able to get good work. I was raised in a very conservative religious household.
She taught me that husbands and wives were equal partners. Even though they may serve different roles. Again, my mom is extremely religious and from a conservative background.
Given my mom's experience, she taught us (4 boys, 1 girl) that women must always gain an education in case they lose their spouse. She taught me that a SAHM was preferred and that I needed to gain an education that enabled me to provide for a family and support a SAHM. But again, to make sure I married a girl who valued and had gained an education. Just in case something happened to me. I'd want my wife and kids to be OK.
She taught me that men must respect and honor women. That the most meaningful thing a man can do is be a good husband and father. She taught me that the best thing a father can do for his children is love and care for their mother.
She would always tell me about my dad. About how he would get home from work and immediately go to work cleaning the house and spending time with the kids. My mom told me how much she appreciated how my dad was and equal partner and always treated her as such through words and actions. She told me to be like dad when I got married.
When I was a teenager, I once got mouthy and told an adult woman to "f**k off." If she could have, my mom would have beaten my ass. But she took away my car for 3 months and made it abundantly clear that I was never to speak to any woman that way. Never.
When I got married, my mom pulled my bride aside and told her that if I ever gave my bride shit, she should call my mom so she could straighten me out. :)
But to OPs point, I am also appalled at some of the things I read here. Fortunately, I have always had good male friends who were raised in similar circumstances. I honestly could not be friends with a man who openly disparaged and disrespected woman and girls.
All things considered, I think I do OK as a hubby and dad. I certainly have moved on from many of the religious beliefs about men and women's roles. But I do appreciate that that the particular conservative teaching from my mom, and church, instilled in me the goal to be a good hubby and father. That being a hubby and dad would be the most important thing I did in life.
So I thank my mom for teaching me what is aspirational. My wife could certainly tell you about all the ways I fall short, but I try.