Feeling really isolated-to feel pushed out by a difficult team culture at work. Has anyone else overcome this?

[Daisydaisydaisy1]

Im hoping to get some support here.
im a mental health nurse and been qualified about 10 yrs (uk).
it’s taken me 4 roles to find what i enjoy. I have noticed there is a bit of a culture in the nhs but over the years adapted to it whilst building my confidence.
I understand management are stuck in certain situations and dynamic of a team. Where I am, there are about 25 of us (different professions). Out of that many there are 7 who have worked together for years (including the manager). I am in the office with them all (not the manager). It was very hard to fit in but I persevered and thought I was ok. I’m going to cut a very long story short.
I noticed 2 colleagues very close and exclude people from conversations and interact together, like to gossip, sometimes the way they speak about others can feel uncomfortable. One nurse has a lot of time off and they all say this is ‘historic’. I can share particular things they say but it’s so long. I noticed they wouldn’t support me, talk over me, exclude me and they often spoke about conversations they have had with the manager. Such as ‘taking the colleague down the competency route’, ‘she’s playing the mental health card’, ‘she is not a team player’.
Have been managing a number of roles due to staff sickness. Aswell as managing health conditions and supporting my daughter with her mental health. I had some time off to recover (4 weeks). When I returned, one of the more dominant characters (who has previously said to me, I’m not challenged because I’m too nice and won’t ‘kick off’) approached me about covering something and I said I have just returned from burnout. She challenged me in a very aggressive tone. I was so taken back. She said I was not being a team player. I honestly couldn’t believe what was happening.
I probably am too sensitive but I don’t know what to do. I have panicked looking for another job. Or do I go back and face this?
There is a lot more to the dynamic but it’s a lot to explain and don’t want to bore you all. I’m just wondering if anyone else has had to manage this?

Lots of MH teams are toxic unfortunately.
If 7 out of the 25 are horrible that's about a quarter, can you align yourself with the others instead?
If your colleague is regularly being rude to you keep a log and raise it with your manager and HR after several incidents shave occurred.
Don't be pushed out of a role you love. If you're a CPN aren't you out and about most of the time, and only in for MDT etc?

Lots of MH teams are toxic unfortunately.
If 7 out of the 25 are horrible that's about a quarter, can you align yourself with the others instead?
If your colleague is regularly being rude to you keep a log and raise it with your manager and HR after several incidents shave occurred.
Don't be pushed out of a role you love. If you're a CPN aren't you out and about most of the time, and only in for MDT etc?

There’s just a culture of taking time off so you all get stressed and take time off. Only in the NHS. No other employer would tolerate this.

Yes I am out sometimes but sometimes in clinic. I’m in the office with the more dominant characters. My manager has said it needs to be sorted as we work together and moving offices will not work. I’m just feeling a bit stuck. I don’t want to be pushed out, I just need to know how to manage it. I’m probably too sensitive. I know it’s everywhere so need to manage it.

Hi I'm in a similar position to you, also working in a MH team. Have been in this role 15 years but this team 3 years. Very clique team, manager who seems to favour a select no. of people, some very loud characters whose voices always seem to matter. I am feeling pushed out but at the same time feel maybe I am being too sensitive as I am also at burnout myself and probably need to leave to reset. Sorry I don't have any advice for you but wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

Littleguggi
Thankyou for sharing. I’m sorry you are experiencing this too. I have noticed it in all areas. I was speaking to my GP and he said management do not know how to manage it. It’s really sad. These selected few will take an instant dislike to new people too. I asked why as the new comer who was an OT was lovely. They said they just get the ‘ick’. These are grown women. I could handle them purposely excluding and let them gossip if it made them happy. Some remarks they made towards one colleague was very low. It’s being targeted when I know I work hard. I watch other colleagues in the office in fear of these louder colleagues. One confided in me and said the office was becoming power imbalanced. However, she has not once supported me in this. I know people are frightened to speak out.

I think the comments and remarks need to be reported, I would definitely be reporting them especially if like you say they are very low. Is there someone higher up you can report to? It sounds very toxic and I wouldn't feel comfortable working there.

Stupid question but why are lots of MH teams toxic when they are presumably in that role to help others and have a good understanding of the human psyche?

@DBSFstupid if you're a tree you hide in a forest. Lots of people working in MH have their own difficulties / PD and want to find some catharsis through their work.

Others are drawn to it as they have experienced parental MH / substance misuse etc, but haven't fully worked through their own trauma.

Yet more are burnt out and have no more emotional labour to offer.

It's a high risk field of work, things often go wrong, catastrophically sometimes, and individual clinicians are held to account. They become defensive, and emotionally detached.

Some teams are wonderful of course and have lots of supervision and support, others become toxic.

This does sound like an almost impossible team to manage, but I don’t think your manager is doing a great job.

That said, was the thing you were being asked to cover normally within your role? I do think if someone is back at work they should be doing their job, unless altered duties have been separately agreed as part of the return to work.

You can do something to change a team culture by refusing to join in gossipy discussions about others behind their backs, and being as positive as you can about people.

What has happened in the previous roles that went south? I wonder if you might do better eventually in a CPN role where you’re out and about and not stuck in an office - but I assume you need more experience for that? You could work towards it though?

@Yeahyeahyeahnooooo
Thanks very much for this informative answer
All the best x

Very much agree