To struggle to enjoy saving when I genuinely enjoy spending?

[KindLilacReader]

Hi, I’m 33. I’ve been working in finance for around 10 years but I still don’t feel like I’ve built up a proper financial cushion.

I think a big part of it is that I genuinely enjoy spending. It’s almost become a habit, even when it’s on bills or things I need, I still get that same satisfaction from spending. On paper I’m fairly responsible - all my bills are paid on time, I own my home and the only debt I have is my mortgage.

But when it comes to saving, I just don’t get the same feeling at all and I find it really hard to stay consistent. I’d really like to build more of a buffer but I feel a bit stuck with this mindset.

AIBU to find saving this difficult and has anyone managed to shift from enjoying spending to actually sticking with saving?

Surely most people enjoy spending, don't they?

You get a dopamine hit from spending, the same way some people get it from snacking, or having sex, or whatever other addictive behaviours you can think of.

The issue is that a dopamine hit will only ever be short term. A very small part of your life will be made better by the purchase, but life overall can be made better if you have solid savings.

You don't have to be all or nothing, though. That's another really common thought for dopamine chasers.

Set a budget each month. Work out how much money you have "spare", and set up a standing order into your savings for a portion of it. Then you can spend the rest.

If I were you, I'd have them added to something like premium bonds, which isn't instant access, but also isn't tied in. So you wouldn't be able to take it out and make an impulse purchase, as there would be a few days in between.

I do not enjoy spending money and rarely buy anything that is not strictly necessary. If I do unclench a little and spend I will feel buyers remorse soon after.

It sounds like you have got your ducks in a row and are responsible. If you can enjoy spending your disposable income and want to do do that is your decision. Obviously you cannot have it both ways though.

I’m the opposite and get more joy from saving and updating my spreadsheet 🤣 I am a geek though.
I used to be in a lot of debt and I don’t want to go back there.

It’s interesting how different we all are.

I used to be a spender. At some point in my 30s, something shifted and I now dislike spending money. I don’t get any satisfaction out of buying things. I don’t buy make up, beauty products, perfume, bags, shoes, clothes, furnishings… Obviously I occasionally have to buy essential clothing items and bedding and things like that, but I wait until it’s completely necessary (ie existing items are torn or holey). I need to buy some bowls and glasses this week as several of ours have been broken over the years. I’m going to the charity shop to buy the replacements.

I get masses of satisfaction out of seeing my savings grow. Because it’s hopefully going to support me in retirement, and I hope there will be some left to pass on to my children as I think the future looks very challenging for the younger generations and I think they’ll need all the help they can get.

I think what shifted for me was not my feelings about money, but about the planet. The more concerned I have become about sustainability and unnecessary waste, the less I enjoy buying stuff. A lot of the purchases people make are wasteful, frivolous and unnecessary. How long until most of it is landfill?

There is a real freedom and satisfaction in ignoring marketing and advertising (as far as possible- I realise none of us are completely immune because advertising is everywhere). I also don’t use Insta or TikTok so I just never find myself coveting stuff. It’s liberating to detach somewhat from the Money Game we are all part of.

This! I also don't think anyone ever got excited about saving. We do it because it's sensible/responsible, not because it's fun. You're just a normal person OP.

Try and think of that money transfer from your current to your savings account as a payment. You're basically paying yourself, in the same way you pay bills. Or just set up a standing order for £x to go to your savings on pay day and then you won't have to struggle to save.

Why do you feel you ought to enjoy saving? Surely it is just something you do (if you can) like taking the bins out or going to the dentist?
Set a standing order to a savings account and don't think about it.

You need a goal.

That makes the saving more interesting.

I enjoy seeing my ISA and Pension going up (not so much when they go down, but on the whole increasing) and planning what I'll be able to spend in the future!

Well it's a bit like taking regular exercise or keeping the house clean - you may not enjoy it but you just do it.

Quick fix - buy a prize bond to scratch the spending itch. End of the month/quarter sell the prize bonds and put funds into savings.

Hello!

I was this person. I loved spending so much I was in serious credit card debt.

Honestly it took time and practice to change my mindset. I learned to pay myself, invest and now obsess over the growing security and buffer balance. Once you start doing it you keep doing it.

I also am allergic to credit cards now. Have not used one in years but have to get one soon for credit score reasons.

When it comes to spending I use a financial tool. I zero base budget and spend within categories and plan to my heart’s content.

I enjoy both.
From the day I started work, 45 years ago, I put a little aside on pay day. Always have, always will.
I love a spendy afternoon as much as I love adding up the total of my savings and don't get me on my pension forecasts.

I also love both. I scratch my spending itch by loving a bargain. I buy all my stuff second hand from Vinted or charity shops. Finding a great deal or expensive piece sold cheaply is what gives me most satisfaction.
I hate high price, new, expensive things.
I also have shared finances and a DH who huffs if I spend too much so that keeps me in check!

Agree with others that having saving goals also helps.

I try and balance spending and saving. Definitely worried about having not enough to spend in retirement. How would up to 30 years of no shopping at all except essentials feel?! That keeps me motivated to save more!

Also maybe you can switch over. I get excited about “spending” in my investment portfolio.

And the plus side is seeing the value go up (I generally invest in index funds so not quite as risky as singles stocks.)

Now I constantly try to find ways of spending more in my investment account. In fact I may add £50 right now! 😆