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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can you be allergic to diy?!

27 replies

menmen · 14/04/2026 11:05

Because I think my husband might be. This is slightly light hearted but not really as if I don’t laugh I’ll cry.

We loved into a new property 6 months ago, it needs painting, every single time he said he’s going to do it, he gets ill… now you might think well that’s not his fault, but I’m starting to see a pattern emerge. He told me actually promised me he was taking the rest of the week off work to get it done, right on cue yesterday afternoon he became tired, couldn’t handle the toddlers, apparently they broke him? Went to bed early with one of them when they fell asleep, stayed in bed this morning whilst I got up with the kids. He’s now gone to work in a right arse, also shouted at me for letting the little one have my phone because they’re going to break it, just unnecessary moaning at me.
Relevant to add I had my toenail removed yesterday so am pretty incapacitated atm, was told to go home and keep my foot elevated, that didn’t happen as I wasn’t getting any help.

It’s a rent more than anything, before anyone says why can’t you paint the house, I try too, he always says no I’ll do it as you’ve got too much to do with the little ones, why can’t he look after them while I get on with it ? Because he doesn’t want to look after them I guess.
He’s not all bad, he does work hard, he provides, and he’s pulls his weight usually when he gets home, but this pattern of becoming ill when there’s diy to do is really starting to bug me. He gets into this foul mood and just shuts down basically.
What can I say to him ?

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 15/04/2026 11:44

Say “ok honey enough now you won’t do any DIY, you don’t want to be asked again if you are going to do it, you won’t pay anyone so this weekend the toddlers are all yours whilst I do it. And I have been looking after them after toe surgery so any hint of illness you will just have to struggle on like I do, then one room will be painted at least and we can continue these ever so fucking boring conversations going round and round and round for absolutely nothing to get done about the next room/DIY task because I am fucking bored of this it’s tedious”

Pessismistic · 16/04/2026 19:24

Dh avoidance in diy is quite normal to me and the more you go on at them the more they ignore you. Just say I can’t bare living here it’s crap and you work too hard to do it by yourself so let’s invest in people who do this type of work for a living then you can come home and relax. If he’s still adamant just say right well you’re having the kids all weekend whilst I do it so you have a choice but it’s happening either way.
I’m sick of living like this.

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