Too embarrassed and scared to go to the dentist

[Amembarrassedscared]

I’m honestly really embarrassed even posting this.
I’ve had a cracked tooth at the back of my mouth for a few years now (I know I should have dealt with it sooner but I’ve been burying my head in the sand). Recently part of it has broken off and I’ve started getting pain on and off.
What’s worrying me is the pain sometimes spreads up towards my nostril/side of my nose, especially when I sit down. It’s not constant agony but it definitely feels like it’s getting worse.
I’m pretty sure it’ll need extracting, but I’m really scared of the dentist and also short on money, which is why I’ve kept putting it off.
Now I’m also worried the tooth next to it might be affected too, and I’m panicking about ending up with gaps and it looking awful.
I know I probably sound stupid for leaving it this long, I just feel really embarrassed about the whole thing.
Has anyone had similar?
Please be kind

Don’t worry what the dentist will think, they see all sorts! They’ll understand you’ve been afraid, it’s very common.

You must go though, if left untreated you might end up with an abscess which is an agony. Don’t assume extraction, it’s possible it can be patched up.

The dentist isn't going to judge you, they've seen everything, they're like doctors and all they will care about is getting it sorted. They aren't thinking about what a dreadful person you are; in the nicest way, they don't give a shit, they just want to fix your teeth before it gets even worse.

They can offer sedation and similar if you're scared (that's very common too) and payment plans so it's affordable. Just get it sorted.

Please go. It will only get worse if you don't.

Agree with PPs, and also came on to say i had to have a tooth at the back of my mouth extracted 2 years ago because it was crowding another tooth. The gap doesn’t show at all.

Dentists get paid through two routes. One being very vain people. The other being people who aren’t angelic at doing everything right for their teeth.

So no need to be embarrassed, you are their standard client. You’ve also got good ‘cover story’ because it sounds like time frame could easily overlap with Covid and it was nigh on impossible to see a dentist at all then so that’s why you didn’t go when it first happened.

Next, most dentists themselves aren’t scary. They’re normal people. Dentistry is scary to some people, but that’s a further step down the line to going in to chat to a dentist and them having a look and discussing options. They’re also very used to people being nervous of dentistry.

Pricing wise - give one a call and ask. They won’t do any work without discussing options and costs. The initial check up and assessment price are often on a price list on websites.

One step at a time, give a practise a call or an email.

My husband was in a similar position. I.e. he neglected the dentist for years and then was in agony. He had no choice to go.

The dentist was lovely and sorted his tooth (it needed to be exactracted) and set him up with regular cleaning appointments to sort out his gum disease. His teeth are now sorted and he goes regularly.

Don't feel embarrassed OP. Dentists have seen it all, it's very common to be afraid of going so they know how to put a nervous patient at ease.

It is the successive governments who have left us without affordable dentistry who need to be embarrassed not you.
Any dentist worth their job will treat you kindly.
Lots of people put off going for reasons of fear and cost so they will be completely familiar with your situation and do everything to put you at ease.
I had a cracked tooth removed a few months ago and it was quick and painless.
I was in and out within about 15 minutes.

Look at this logically it’s not going to get any better find yourself a good dentist probably by recommendation and get your teeth sorted. A family member ignored a cracked tooth ended up with an emergency weekend appointment and a huge bill.
No need to be embarrassed dentists have seen it all and apart from that due to the lack of NHS services you will be paying them for it.

I didn‘t go to the dentist for more than 10 years and I imagined all sorts of things during that time. It was fine when I went back, and retrospectively the pain I had was sinus related, not my teeth. I didn‘t have any problems then, the dentist didn‘t mention that it was clear I hadn‘t been for a while and 15 years on I still have never needed a filling.
I wouldn‘t assume you‘ll need an extraction, either. It could equally be that the break has exposed a nerve and it hurts but can be fixed.

OP I was in a very similar position a few years ago. Cracked tooth at the back of my mouth which got progressively more painful, particularly when I leant forward. I ignored it until one day it turned into major toothache. It was honestly horrific & I was in agony. I was laying in bed & can remember crawling up the bed, clinging onto my headboard to try and get away from the pain. I considered pulling the tooth with pliers!!!
I ended up at the dental hospital where they put something on my tooth giving me instant relief 😅 and then got root canal treatment. The dentist saved the tooth.

So please don’t do what I did. Make an appointment now and save yourself a world of pain.

Sorry to read your in pain. Toothache is awful but can be treated.

Phone the dentist today. Explain that you are a nervous patient and may need a longer appointment. Inform them of the damage, length of time since it first cracked then broke.

Mention the pain describing it on a scale of 1-10, frequency, triggers and location. Tell them you feel pain in the neighbouring tooth, your nostrils and nose as it could be a dental infection that requires antibiotics.

I have had my share of dental treatment over the years and was even referred to the local dental hospital for one tooth's treatment as it needed a complex root canal. The dentist have always been professional and non judgemental. Don't be put off with feelings of embarrassment. They will be keen to resolve your toothache and have the training and skills to do so.

Ask about the treatment plan, NHS pricing and payment options. There is a cap on costing bands. The dentist will be able to advise you of the best course of action but you need to go and see them. Make the call today. 🥰

Look at your area and see if there is a university dental hospital. I go to one and the students have fixed my entire mouth for free (and I had a lot of problems). They have never judged me once, they don’t give me patronising advice and just want to help and practice their skills. The more complex you are, the more they’re willing to help! It does take a while from initial signup to finish but it’s better than paying ££££.

Oh OP I really feel for you. Any dentist worth their salt will understand completely why you've not been and will treat you with compassion. Please try to have some compassion for yourself too and book an appointment and go. You'll feel so much better once you've been seen and you know what treatment you need. Yes it will cost (teeth always do) but payment plans are available and it won't go away on its own. All the best to you.

I went after abput 30 yeard. I had missing teeth gaps etc.H Terrible tartar and gum disease and terrified. He cleaned them without judgement took x ray no other work needed the ones y
that are gone are gone.

I feelso much better and back in 6 months.

Honestly, dentists have seen it all and they just want to help you. If you tell them that you're nervous they can help to make it less nerve-wracking.
You really need it seen to- I have had abscesses from teeth and then one turned into a jawbone infection because I left it so long. It is the worst pain. (And I was in labour for three days.) Please, go and get it sorted!

Please be kinder to yourself. The dentist will have experience of patients who have put off dentistry work for years. They can take away your pain and get you on a path for treatment.

You could speak to the dentist at the start of the appointment and talk through your worries. That way when you open your mouth and they start looking at your teeth, you have given them a heads up.

They will have seen it all before.

A dd once had a temp job in an upmarket estate agent, where the manager had the most appalling bad breath.

Eventually she was evidently persuaded to visit a dentist for the first time in X years. Everyone was astonished afterwards to see gaps between her teeth that had never been there before - everyone had thought she just had teeth very close together.

It was down to years of plaque finally being cleared away, and unsurprisingly, the bad breath issue was also resolved.

Try and bite the bullet and go and see someone. If the tooth is cracked and the pain is getting worse then it's likely that if you don't have treatment asap it's definitely going to get more painful and possibly more expensive

If finances are an issue then the dentist can address this, even a private one.
Cheapest option, they deal with any decay and do a filling. If it's at the rear of the mouth the filling will basically replace the broken bite. It can be done in metal or white enamel which is more expensive.
You can have the tooth pulled, but they generally try to salvage teeth if possible. It's possibly the cheapest option but depends on where the tooth is.
You can have root canal. Sounds horrible and it used to be but modern dentistry is such that you will only feel the painkiller injection and these days they put a numbing gell on first. They'll remove the tooth nerve which is causing the pain, fill it up and probably crown in it metal or a veneer.

So there are lots of choices but dentists are usually good sorts who won't leave you in pain. There are all sorts of payment plans available now for private, and if not registered with an NHS dentist then I'd start calling around.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied to my post earlier. I was feeling really embarrassed about it all, but a lot of your comments made me feel a bit less ashamed and more like I just need to get on with sorting it.
I have called the dentist and have an appointment for later on today.

It been really helpful to hear other people’s experiences it’s made it feel a lot less scary.

Thanks again, it genuinely helped more than you probably realise

Good luck and well done for getting onto it. It happens to lots of people so I'm sure they will be understanding, and you will feel much better when it's sorted.

once you have your first appointment and you start going back regularly, the anxiety will dissipate! it’s just a case of exposure therapy and taking that first step is the hardest.

Gosh I has this, didn’t occur to me to be embarassed, I cracked my tooth,left it for years, ended up in absolute agony , so made an emergency appt. Two root canals and a cap later and I learned my lesson, I now go every 3 months for a clean and dentist ever 6.

I had a broken wisdom tooth that ended up being extracted. The broken bits caught my cheek so it was painful and now minus one wisdom tooth, its all good.

@Amembarrassedscared that’s great, hope your appointment goes well.

Mumsnet at its best on this thread!

Well done for making the appointment! If you can, make the next appointment while you’re there, then you won’t have that hurdle to get over