Fresh out of uni, I used to work for a small business owned by a husband and wife team, although the wife basically wasn’t involved (she had her own side hustles, but that’s by-the- by).
In short, the husband, the boss, came into the office every month or so, and would chat to me more than the other employees, offered to extend my contract when there technically wasn’t space for my role (without asking his co-owner, his wife), made a few clumsy but non-vulgar remarks about my looks, and told silly stories and anecdotes to make me laugh. Some of my co-workers joked that I was his favourite and that if anything went wrong, I should be the one to tell him as he’d be more favourable. I was just getting on with my work and being happy that I was going to get a good reference.
However, I clearly wasn’t the wife’s (who doesn’t even know me; she literally said hello to me twice) favourite. She would watch her husband when he was talking to me, and rub his shoulders and arms like she was petting a dog. She could’ve just said hello to me instead and asked me about my role!!
Anyway, fast forward a year and I left the firm after my contact extension ended, and I’m now moving to a new role after sixth months travelling and tutoring abroad. I need a reference from this firm, and sent my polite, ‘would you mind being my referee?’, email a few months ago, with no reply, so a month later I sent another one, again very polite, but still no reply.
I wonder whether they both now dislike me for no good reason, as the wife seemed not to like me, and she may have convinced her husband to dislike me also.