To think people focus too much on the “perfect” financial decision and not enough on quality of life?

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I’ve noticed this both on here and when talking to friends. When people are discussing things like housing decisions (buying vs renting, how much to spend, etc.) or other financial choices, there seems to be a strong focus on what’s the “optimal” financial decision. But I don’t think enough weight is given to quality of life. I’ve made plenty of decisions that probably weren’t financially optimal, but they made my life more enjoyable or less stressful and I don’t regret them.

AIBU to think that sometimes it’s worth prioritising enjoyment and lifestyle over maximising financial outcomes?

In this day and age, financial decisions have direct impact on quality of life. I would love to be care-free zipping up and down the country exploring (and my remote job allows it) but, ultimately, having done that for 6 months, I feel rather worried about my financial stability. I haven't saved any money at all due to costs of short-term lets.
Am I destitute? Absolutely not. Did I have good time? Yes. But this is not a sustainable lifestyle.

How do you plan to prioritise enjoyment if you run out of money?

I’m not talking about ignoring financial security altogether. I think it’s more about balance rather than always defaulting to the most optimal decision at the expense of quality of life.

I guess it depends on many factors and ultimately what situations. We’ve never maxed our mortgage, always deciding on the smaller house. And we wanted that so I could work part time for the kids predominantly at the time (some for my mental health). We’ve gone without takeaways and restaurants at times to save our money for other things (travelling). We’ve gone down to one car to save money for other things. Depends what’s important to you. My cousin wants to live in a massive house with the wow appeal. She wants to drive a top notch car. She wants a lot of material things that I don’t want. But that’s “her thing” whereas “my things” are just different, I want the smaller cosy house, I want to go round the world. I want a better work life balance. But it doesn’t make “her things” wrong. It’s her life, her money.
We’re all different. We all want different things and we all prioritise differently.

Not specifically housing but I think in general people are placing more value on ‘objectively’ sensible decisions than ones that enhance their life. I have several friends miserable in their jobs who have other options but ‘this is the sensible option as it’s more prestigious and promotion’ etc

In the long term, you have many more opportunities to maximise your quality of life if you make optimal financial decisions now. Money has better spending power when saved than when spent.
Delayed gratification and all that.

That isn’t to say, you can’t spend ever. But it usually pays to minimise expenditure.

I think most people try to balance their decisions, but we all gave different priorities. I'd get no joy from owning a brand new car and a ton of pain from the rapid depreciation, but friends think the joy if a new car is worth it to them.

I do have a friend who can't stand the thought of buying a house then the market crashing so he's been waiting for many years for prices to fall. He's saved over 200k by living in hell holes, literally a squat with no bathroom or kitchen for the last year. He is miserable and has poor mental health, Ffs, just buy somewhere to live!

I don’t see that in my generation actually (late 40s) as most of the women I know do balance work life balance. 20 years ago I did city working to get qualified and experience while knowing I would find a firm closer to home prior to having kids so the commute wouldn’t be a problem with nipping home for kids events.

I always had half an eye on where I would ‘stop’ promotion wise and the best earning/work life balance and where it stops paying off. Realistically I think that’s why board representation is so low among women. £100k director role vs CFO role isn’t worth the benefit for me personally.

Lots of women my age won’t give up their part time hours for more money.

We went for location over price for our house but were lucky when it came to house prices at the time.

We spent a fortune on insurances so we felt more secure in jobs but wouldn’t stay in a role where we were unhappy ever

I agree. We decided not to upsize when we were in a position to. Having hoped for a bigger family circumstances meant we had to stop at one. As a result I was able to sell my business and retire early at 55. I still do one day a week but only to fund DS through uni.
With a more lavish lifestyle we would have had to carry on working.
Small house means small bills, no need for a cleaner, less stuff to fill the house so we are left with a very comfortable disposable income.
I don’t have to worry about grocery budgeting, if it’s cold the heating stays on. I can buy clothes and treats for myself without guilt and once DH has his knee replacement we can do a bit of travelling.
We also have money set aside to contribute to a deposit when DS is ready.
We are not wealthy but it’s very easy to live within our means without stress.
It’s not always been as easy but knowing we would be able to retire early was a great motivator.
Many people do it the other way round, stretching credit to the limit to live a certain lifestyle. Unless you are one of a very small percentage, that lifestyle will have to be reeled in when you retire. Very few pensions give the sort of income you are able to earn when working.
Rather than stretching yourself throughout your career why not reduce living costs so lifestyle costs don’t wipe you out every month and use the money to improve quality of life or work less hours to give you more free time. It’s all about balancing the books which should always include a column for quality of life.

This seems to be a completely non-controversial opinion presented as a controversial one.

Of course being utterly misery at the cost of enjoying life is not ideal.

Of course spending on lifestyle like there’s no tomorrow is not ideal.

As with anything, you will have people who go to opposite extremes so you will have people working in a job they hate, taking no holidays, driving a car that breaks down every 6 months all to retire before the age of 50. However, you also have people reaching 50 and realising they have saved nothing for their pension, will be renting privately forever and they’ll have to keep working until they die because they prioritised having a good time. A forum, by default, is going to attract those extremes.

Most people are actually somewhere in the middle. People working part time for mental health or not going for promotions because they know it’s more responsibility than they want. Or people taking those promotions because it buys them a bigger house that gives them more joy, buys them more holidays or even just pays for a cleaner because they really hate cleaning. The balance just looks different for everyone.

Your argument is sort of along the lines of money doesn’t buy happiness, which it doesn’t. But it does buy comfort and support. At certain times that comfort and support can greatly improve your quality of life e.g. if your partner dies but you’ve got life insurance which pays the mortgage, you had healthy savings and you can afford to take some unpaid leave, plan the funeral they deserve, go through some grief counselling then your quality of life will probably be better than being made homeless because you can’t afford the rent, have to keep working and have no access to counselling no services. You often don’t know which decision was financially optimal until some time after and you can view that decision with hindsight so people are just doing the best they can with the information they have available to them at the moment.

Three word user name.

"I’ve noticed this both on here and........."
"I’m not talking about.........."
"......it’s more about........."

Instantly recognisable pattern.

Yes!
We upsized when we could have been mortgage free in 5 years but we didn’t love our house, or the neighbours!
We doubled our mortgage but I’m so happy here, we love being at home and The money we save from not wanted to be out the house the whole time goes towards the mortgage.

I'm with you, OP. Quality of life is always my longterm priority.

I agree. I spend an eye-watering amount on rent, but it means I get to live in a fabulous neighbourhood in Manhattan - a dream I’ve had since I was a child sneakily watching Sex and the City (we weren’t allowed to watch it, for obvious reasons). I could halve my rent by moving to outer Queens or by flatsharing. But I refuse to give up my current lifestyle. Work is stressful and miserable currently, and I’ve become the sort of person who lives for the weekend (can’t do anything about that right now due to visa issues), but what really helps is having the most fantastic weekends and holidays - exploring the city, weekend breaks, road trips, festivals and raves. I could definitely be saving more, but I can’t bear to have boring weekends / holidays on top of a miserable work life.