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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Those with severe autism need their own diagnosis

1000 replies

Cubic · 12/04/2026 20:37

Ok so, I'm being brave and putting my head above the wall. This is a long one as it's an emotive topic.

The autism diagnosis changed in the dsm (American diagnostic manual) in 2013, than hit the UK too and our diagnosis changed to include people who would have been diagnosed previously with other conditions; Aspergers, childhood disingenerative dissorder, retts and pdd nos. Aspergers had links to the nazis, there were concerns that the other conditions wasn't taken as being as serious/ a disability, funding wasn't aimed at those who were seen as "higher functioning".

The dsm gave levels 1-3 depending on support needs. Some people fluctuate and some just stay at level 3 all the time.

Until this point autism was seen as a severe disability. Those with the diagnosis were seen as being disabled, this wasn't questioned.

The diagnosis changes linked with the neurodisability movement and self diagnosis has meant that those with the most severe impairments are now not as catered for. Many of those with the most needs lack the ability to communicate and therefore can't advocate for themselves. Their carers are exhausted too.

Those who would be seen as more able can suffer with severe mental health issues that aren't always treated due to them having the autism diagnosis.

Profound autism is being tabled as a way to seperate the diagnosis so that those who have extremely limited communication, low iq and require constant life long care etc due to their autism not mental health can have seperate diagnosis.

This is opposed by many of those who are more able. One of the reasons given is that their autism would be seen as "mild autism" and support maybe withdrawn.

I support the profound autism diagnosis. I think there is a world of difference between those maybe diagnosed later in life, who work and have family and friends to those who require support in every area of their life for their full life (all the time, not fluctuating), with no communication who can't access our world.

This doesn't mean I don't recognise the needs of those who aren't profound.

IABU for support a seperate diagnosid
IANBU for wanting a seperate diagnosis for those with severe/ profound autism.

  • knowing how these threads can go, I may not reply to every question, statement or post.

** I'm aware that terms like high/ low functioning aren't supported by many of those who are able to communicate well.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:06

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:00

No that's absolutely not what I have suggested.

So a reasonable person wouldn’t admonish a parent who is fed up of being given suggestions for a cure that doesn’t exist, right?

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:06

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:01

It’s interesting that that people who are against the reclassification are people without close relatives with profound autism.

It’s almost as if they see the reclassification as a threat to their own/ child’s identity. That they see it as a threat to the validity of their own/ child’s diagnosis.

The gaslighting over parents advocating for their non-verbal children is particularly repugnant.

I couldn't care less if parents want their autistic and learning disabled children diagnosed as something else.
My child is autistic and the will be autistic regardless of anything else.

But I don't agree with this ongoing battle of trying to create exclusion and separation as a way of removing rights from other disabled people.

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:08

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:06

I couldn't care less if parents want their autistic and learning disabled children diagnosed as something else.
My child is autistic and the will be autistic regardless of anything else.

But I don't agree with this ongoing battle of trying to create exclusion and separation as a way of removing rights from other disabled people.

So you do see it as a threat?

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:11

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:06

So a reasonable person wouldn’t admonish a parent who is fed up of being given suggestions for a cure that doesn’t exist, right?

She autistic she is saying what helped her. You know how some autistic people tell you about trains constantly even when no one is interested.
And a different autistic person can only eat a specific coloured food.

I don't understand how you can't comprehend how her autism is impacting how she communicates.

SleeplessInWherever · 13/04/2026 16:12

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:06

I couldn't care less if parents want their autistic and learning disabled children diagnosed as something else.
My child is autistic and the will be autistic regardless of anything else.

But I don't agree with this ongoing battle of trying to create exclusion and separation as a way of removing rights from other disabled people.

Who said anything about removing rights?

My son deserves the support he needs, so does your child.

I’m not hoarding all the DLA, for example, whatever you’re entitled to then you’re entitled to. I don’t sit and think that if all those on lower rates just didn’t apply then we’d get more - we get what we’re entitled to and that’s either different or isn’t.

Nobody is gatekeeping autism or disability, but I equally don’t think it’s wrong to recognise that it presents differently, impacts differently, and therefore should be managed differently.

fracturedupont · 13/04/2026 16:13

SleeplessInWherever · 13/04/2026 16:03

My issue, which I have said all along. Is purporting to have had the same experience and giving advice from that position, when you haven’t had the same experience.

If someone comes on here and tells me that at 10 years old they were 3, but they’re all caught up now and this is how - trust me, all ears. But that’s not what happened.

Her experience, and yours, are valid. They are however not the same. So I see little value in advising someone from a position you’ve never been in.

Out of interest, why do you believe it would be negative for you to not be included in a category with those like my son? With no offence meant to my own child - why do you want to be?

I have never said or even hinted that I believe it would be a negative for me to not be included in a category of 'profound autism'. I cannot see any world where I would be or I need to be, and I am quite happy to accept there are people with autism who have it much worse than me and I would never want to stop them getting support. If there's money for support that could either be allocated to me, or to someone like your son, then he should get it without any question.

My concern (as I have said several times) is around people with high support needs who are not considered to have 'profound autism' and the likely impact on them - it's effectively saying they're not disabled enough to fit into the top category. The measure being used is fairly arbitrary and that's why I object to you saying that people who say they're severely impacted aren't really. It should be need driven.

With any special category there is a cut off. That's my concern with any definition of profound autism as I said - what happens to people just below the cut off who may now no longer be able to access support they previously could, and what happens to people who once were in the category but things change and they no longer are.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:14

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:08

So you do see it as a threat?

Have you watched the news and the changes that are coming ?

Yes I absolutely believe the government want us fighting amongst ourselves

I absolutely believe they will target the disabled children that's needs are s enough as less obvious.
Going after children at the. More extreme end of needs would get public outcry but as seen over and over again society won't bat an eyelid at the removal of rights from those in the middle.

Youtookthebrightmoon · 13/04/2026 16:15

@fracturedupont
It’s an interesting topic. Would love to do more reading too, but I haven’t time right now either!
There is always disagreement between individual studies, but usually a sort of consensus emerges…which can change over time of course as new information is forthcoming.

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:15

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:11

She autistic she is saying what helped her. You know how some autistic people tell you about trains constantly even when no one is interested.
And a different autistic person can only eat a specific coloured food.

I don't understand how you can't comprehend how her autism is impacting how she communicates.

My issue is with you admonishing the previous poster for being annoyed at the suggestion because of the implication that she hasn’t done enough for her child.

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:17

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:14

Have you watched the news and the changes that are coming ?

Yes I absolutely believe the government want us fighting amongst ourselves

I absolutely believe they will target the disabled children that's needs are s enough as less obvious.
Going after children at the. More extreme end of needs would get public outcry but as seen over and over again society won't bat an eyelid at the removal of rights from those in the middle.

As I thought.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:17

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:15

My issue is with you admonishing the previous poster for being annoyed at the suggestion because of the implication that she hasn’t done enough for her child.

I haven't said anything about the PP not doing enough for their child.
I think you either have misread or mistaken me for someone else.

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:18

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:17

I haven't said anything about the PP not doing enough for their child.
I think you either have misread or mistaken me for someone else.

The poster who she was responding to, for which you admonished her, did.

Noras · 13/04/2026 16:20

The issue that I find amazing is that rather than attacking parents no one is seeing this as a healthcare disaster

For me, having my son in my late 30 with no immunity from the CMV virus along with genetic predisposition I firmly believe caused my sons more upsetting issues.

i think that had I been inoculated he would have had fewer issues to deal with and just more manageable Asperger type of ASD.

The Gov owes it to us to find answers - are people having kids too late or are people exposed to more viruses etc

The narrative is wrong - we are all let downs by the health system as no one is saying why this is happening.

SleeplessInWherever · 13/04/2026 16:21

@fracturedupont / @Leftrightmiddle

I’d just like to reply to the essence of what I think both of your responses mean, and if I’m wrong then fair enough.

I don’t have a SEN-betweener, and do have the “kind” of child where there would be uproar if support was revoked. Maybe that is positive, but it also means I have a child that, at least for now, even our shitty government recognised as severely disabled. I am assuming very few would like to swap.

I don’t set where “severe” cuts off, and I don’t decide who is impacted and by what.

I understand that changes to policy and funding don’t impact us in the same was as others, and I absolutely acknowledge that I don’t have that specific worry to contend with. Nobody will remove my kids EHCP, for example.

But to be clear - those changes aren’t my preference, it is not my fault that my son isn’t impacted by them and you/yours might be, and if you want someone to argue with, rather than doing it “amongst ourselves” - try the government.

fracturedupont · 13/04/2026 16:24

Youtookthebrightmoon · 13/04/2026 16:15

@fracturedupont
It’s an interesting topic. Would love to do more reading too, but I haven’t time right now either!
There is always disagreement between individual studies, but usually a sort of consensus emerges…which can change over time of course as new information is forthcoming.

Edited

Sitting on my hands here :)

I remember a previous thread where someone said that they thought there were roughly three categories of autistic people - (1) profoundly autistic with intellectual impairment and no family history of autism (whether diagnosed or not) - effectively coming out of the blue, (2) profoundly autistic/heavily impacted with or without intellectual impairment but with a family history of autism, and (3) less severely impacted* with a family history of autism. If I remember rightly, her position was that the growth a the 'severe' end was coming from category one.

I don't know how true this is but it's interesting as, if correct, the 'cause' of the first category is unlikely to be the same as the second two. It may well be this turns out to be a different condition with similar characteristics, and to have an environmental trigger. My autism is clearly genetic - I'm the only one diagnosed but one side of my family is all very clearly autistic!

  • Read this as low support needs, or however you want to - you know what I am saying and there is no 'right' language to use that wouldn't trigger someone! I am not suggesting that people with less 'severe' autism have it easy.
Urgentbiscuitrequired · 13/04/2026 16:25

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:06

I couldn't care less if parents want their autistic and learning disabled children diagnosed as something else.
My child is autistic and the will be autistic regardless of anything else.

But I don't agree with this ongoing battle of trying to create exclusion and separation as a way of removing rights from other disabled people.

I don't get this. Nobody wants to remove rights from anyone who is autistic. The problem is minimising of needs across the board and it seems everyone is falling for this pitting of people against each other. If we actually advocated for everyone by getting two separate diagnoses and more targeted support for different expressions of autism that would make more sense.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:26

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:17

As I thought.

I just think it should be autistic with what other else needs are going on

Autistic

autistic with severe learning disabilities

Autistic and down syndrome

This is far clearer and so meets the needs of parents who want their child addition difficulties recognised
Il

I feel part of the problem is historically if children have been diagnosed with one thing their isn't seen a reason to assess for other things especially in the most complex cases. I know a young person (DS) who is also autistic. It is pretty much acceptable they are autistic by all professionals but it hasn't been formally assessed because they were told no point as won't impact support provided.

And I feel this is what is the issue here the most complex cases are more than just autistic but they have only been given autistic diagnosis so parents don't have the full diagnosis information.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:29

Urgentbiscuitrequired · 13/04/2026 16:25

I don't get this. Nobody wants to remove rights from anyone who is autistic. The problem is minimising of needs across the board and it seems everyone is falling for this pitting of people against each other. If we actually advocated for everyone by getting two separate diagnoses and more targeted support for different expressions of autism that would make more sense.

But people don't fit neatly into 2 separate boxes

fracturedupont · 13/04/2026 16:29

SleeplessInWherever · 13/04/2026 16:21

@fracturedupont / @Leftrightmiddle

I’d just like to reply to the essence of what I think both of your responses mean, and if I’m wrong then fair enough.

I don’t have a SEN-betweener, and do have the “kind” of child where there would be uproar if support was revoked. Maybe that is positive, but it also means I have a child that, at least for now, even our shitty government recognised as severely disabled. I am assuming very few would like to swap.

I don’t set where “severe” cuts off, and I don’t decide who is impacted and by what.

I understand that changes to policy and funding don’t impact us in the same was as others, and I absolutely acknowledge that I don’t have that specific worry to contend with. Nobody will remove my kids EHCP, for example.

But to be clear - those changes aren’t my preference, it is not my fault that my son isn’t impacted by them and you/yours might be, and if you want someone to argue with, rather than doing it “amongst ourselves” - try the government.

Thanks - I don't want to stop your child being recognised as having more significant needs than me. I am absolutely fine with that. I am worried about the negative impact of this type of definition on people at the margins.

Your son doesn't need this definition because they're clearly already in this group. I'm not clear who actually does except the people at the margins, and that's why the definition concerns me and shutting down people with significant needs who don't have cognitive impairment. I'd love it if this type of definition was used to give the 'profound' group more support without any impact on those not quite there, but that's not how the world works, and that's why it's really important to focus on the people at the margins.

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:29

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:26

I just think it should be autistic with what other else needs are going on

Autistic

autistic with severe learning disabilities

Autistic and down syndrome

This is far clearer and so meets the needs of parents who want their child addition difficulties recognised
Il

I feel part of the problem is historically if children have been diagnosed with one thing their isn't seen a reason to assess for other things especially in the most complex cases. I know a young person (DS) who is also autistic. It is pretty much acceptable they are autistic by all professionals but it hasn't been formally assessed because they were told no point as won't impact support provided.

And I feel this is what is the issue here the most complex cases are more than just autistic but they have only been given autistic diagnosis so parents don't have the full diagnosis information.

Why though? Why is the same diagnosis necessary for people who it’s perfectly possible have no overlapping symptoms?

elliejjtiny · 13/04/2026 16:30

Noras · 13/04/2026 06:33

I am not sure how services talk to each other and categorise things.

However, from senior school onwards my experience with my son I have never had an issue with having my DS needs acknowledged by the various agencies eg vulnerable for multiple reasons and high care needs. So my experience has been that no one challenges his care level needs, it’s just how many hours as an adult social care he should get eg how many hours will we allow him to be on university campus ( no one disputes that he has to be velcroed unless having a mentor session)

I get the impression that if social care needs go above a certain level at that point you enter into a discussion on how those needs are efficiently provided for eg in a supported housing setting with additional PA support as opposed to 24/7 PA support. We are not there yet as DS lives at home so his support is still anchored by what support I provide. At present he gets lots of hours as he is at university but I am worried that once he leaves and if he is still living at home he will only get say 35 hours per week ( including respite) and more care will fall on me and I’m in my 60s. If that is the case, I will refuse to care and he will have to go into supported living. Being a carer at this level has a profound impact on our lives. The lack of freedom and spontaneity hits hard.

There clearly is some shorthand in all the various reports that we have to indicate something so that we never have to reinvent the wheel.

Things were different in junior school where (in my opinion) a crazed headmaster tried to diminish his needs. As a consequence, we were only awarded 1:1 suoort in lesssons requiring recording. The upshot was that secondary school was grossly unprepared for the student they got and had to play catch up eg placing 1:1 support into Domestic Science as my son could not be let loose with knives and PE ( as my son had to go 1:1 off curriculum) and also positioning him onto the severely disabled ( special school attached j table at mealtimes so he had a safe space.

I think that this middling level of disability is more challenging to categorise when very young but as they become older the gulf between him and his peers widens massively.

For me, the issue as a carer, is the lack of recognition in the system for those who have to provide significant care. So I get the same carers allowance as someone who provides care to their disabled son/ daughter who left home to go to university and is not even living in the same city as the person they care for, They provide care by telephone. I mean this is ludicrous.

There was no suggestion that my son would go to university in a different city. In contrast, I have to accumulate my weekly respite hours if I want a short break with my DH and ensure that the Pa is suitable eg to cook, clean out sons toilet ( gets blocked by constipation) shave my son ( he leaves off bits) cut his finger nails etc and organise all his daily activities when not at university. If he moved to halls of residence he would need 24 hour 1:1 for his own safety. So to know that people can get carers allowance and not remotely have these restrictions on their lives is upsetting.

For me the simple divide is whether the disabled person can communicate their needs for themselves or they need everything communicated by others. how independent can they ever be.

When a person can eloquently communicate their care needs I find it hard to see that person as disabled as my son who can’t even tell the PA he is having an asthma attack and sticks his head out of the window instead. He can’t say ‘ I tried to cook, it was a rubbish meal and am really hungry’ instead he alarmed life skills by saying ‘ i want to die, I will kill my self’

At the same time, my son is a world away from those profoundly disabled who have little communication and smear their own poo. I don’t thing these needs are just different, they are more intense. I think it’s crazy not to acknowledge that.

For me, there is a point where ASD is really not an invisible disability. There is no way is presents in my son as invisible. Maybe when he was younger. Most people see it within a few minutes of interaction.

So for me the divide is the intensity of the needs. How often does the carer need to care eg is it a phone call once a day, is it minute by minute, hour by hour or is it several hours a day etc. So my son can be left alone for a couple of hours but needs checking in with after that.

If you don’t need daily care your level of needs are in a different category and frankly have less impact on the lives of others.

So putting it simply do your care needs impact others ( your carers) on a minute, hour, several hours per day or weekly or occasional basis.

My son sounds similar to yours was at the same age. He's 11 and needs constant supervision. I'm constantly being told by professionals he has mild autism because he doesn't have learning disabilities even though he needs 1 to 1 care from a teaching assistant to actually produce any work. School understand his needs but not many other people do. He has been assessed as having the emotional development of a 3 year old. I think there should be the opportunity to diagnose people like our sons with severe autism without learning disabilities.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 13/04/2026 16:31

fracturedupont · 13/04/2026 16:13

I have never said or even hinted that I believe it would be a negative for me to not be included in a category of 'profound autism'. I cannot see any world where I would be or I need to be, and I am quite happy to accept there are people with autism who have it much worse than me and I would never want to stop them getting support. If there's money for support that could either be allocated to me, or to someone like your son, then he should get it without any question.

My concern (as I have said several times) is around people with high support needs who are not considered to have 'profound autism' and the likely impact on them - it's effectively saying they're not disabled enough to fit into the top category. The measure being used is fairly arbitrary and that's why I object to you saying that people who say they're severely impacted aren't really. It should be need driven.

With any special category there is a cut off. That's my concern with any definition of profound autism as I said - what happens to people just below the cut off who may now no longer be able to access support they previously could, and what happens to people who once were in the category but things change and they no longer are.

With any special category there is a cut off. That's my concern with any definition of profound autism as I said - what happens to people just below the cut off who may now no longer be able to access support they previously could, and what happens to people who once were in the category but things change and they no longer are.

Personally, I'm not sure that they could categorise it so neatly, however if they could all that would alter is the diagnosis given, it should not, in theory, remove support as support is needs based.

If you get diagnosed with profound autism and that automatically opens up avenues of support, fantastic, and if you just miss the diagnostic criteria whatever they may be clinically, you may not automatically be entitled to support however there will be an avenue of assessment.

Any disabled person can request a needs assessment, and what is granted is dependent on those needs, the diagnosis is just helpful to justify what those needs are likely to be. Whether you're actually granted support is an entirely different kettle of fish and a battle we all should be fighting for: the right support for the right people instead of being treated like a homogenous group with the same needs.

If parents of profoundly autistic children want there to be a distinction to separate their children from what would otherwise be high needs support autism or median support needs autism or even low support needs autism then that's completely valid.

Everybody knows what someone means when a parent says their child is profoundly autistic. It is a useful indicator. It automatically tells the recipient their needs are significant, persistent, lifelong and will often need supervised 2:1 care in many cases, and will need substantial later life care plans when their parents or caregivers are no longer here.

My son is high needs autistic but I wouldn't call him profoundly autistic, he's probably one of the children you're on about just not quite cutting the mustard, he will likely need lifelong supervision and care, however it is apparent at this stage in his development that could reasonably change with the right interventions and so I would not expect his diagnosis to automatically open up support rather, he be subject to an assessment process, whereas it would be fantastic if the support for a child like Sleepless' child could have their needs acknowledged early on and pathways to later life support be automatically moved onto as well as an ease of access to appropriate education which no parent of a complex needs child should have to fight so bloody hard for.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:33

SleeplessInWherever · 13/04/2026 16:21

@fracturedupont / @Leftrightmiddle

I’d just like to reply to the essence of what I think both of your responses mean, and if I’m wrong then fair enough.

I don’t have a SEN-betweener, and do have the “kind” of child where there would be uproar if support was revoked. Maybe that is positive, but it also means I have a child that, at least for now, even our shitty government recognised as severely disabled. I am assuming very few would like to swap.

I don’t set where “severe” cuts off, and I don’t decide who is impacted and by what.

I understand that changes to policy and funding don’t impact us in the same was as others, and I absolutely acknowledge that I don’t have that specific worry to contend with. Nobody will remove my kids EHCP, for example.

But to be clear - those changes aren’t my preference, it is not my fault that my son isn’t impacted by them and you/yours might be, and if you want someone to argue with, rather than doing it “amongst ourselves” - try the government.

Absolutely your not to blame

I think the thing that upsets is that the view point that it's somehow easier for some parents.
The challenges may be different but it's still extremely hard where ever a child falls on the autistic spectrum.

I feel like we have a lot of understanding and empathy for those with complex needs but it is rare for people to understand the difficulties in the middle.

Leftrightmiddle · 13/04/2026 16:34

Elbone · 13/04/2026 16:29

Why though? Why is the same diagnosis necessary for people who it’s perfectly possible have no overlapping symptoms?

Ok so extreme autism should have a separate diagnosis maybe they aren't actually autistic and are just learning disabled

SassyButClassy · 13/04/2026 16:35

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-15728991/Just-child-doesnt-make-eye-contact-doesnt-mean-theyre-autistic-masking-nonsense-say-researchers-claim-condition-wildly-overdiagnosed-harmful.html

It's over diagnosed and misdiagnosed. See link above and www.autism.org.

We all know this but not many want to say it. It's an excuse for bad parenting, bad behaviour, lazy schooling and lots of other things which masks the condition for those who really suffer.

It's exhausting and I would agree that the whole diagnosis needs scrapped and restarted from where it initially began. I knew kids in the 90s with autism. There were no 'spectrums' or 'delayed' diagnosis. It was very evident they were neurodivergent and no one had to guess or pretend there was 'masking' or whatever else.

I get triggered every time I see this condition mentioned because too many of my family members want to label their children with autism or ADHD instead of address their shortcomings as parents. These shortcomings are as a result of a lot of things, not all their fault, as such, but certainly not the child's fault to the extent they need labelled with a lifelong condition and then medicated!

Autism is 'wildly overdiagnosed' in children warn top researchers

Paediatric and autism researchers say that behaviours such as difficulty maintaining eye contact or 'toe-walking' does not always indicate that a child has the developmental disorder.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-15728991/Just-child-doesnt-make-eye-contact-doesnt-mean-theyre-autistic-masking-nonsense-say-researchers-claim-condition-wildly-overdiagnosed-harmful.html

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