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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work blues

4 replies

Fallon79 · 12/04/2026 20:18

Sunday night dread getting worse lately so much so it started this morning. Had a horrible week last week at work. I generally get on well with my manager. I’d say the line is blurred between manager/employee and friend in that we buy eachother birthday presents, sometimes text outside of work. Anyway, last week she was very stressed with too much work on, regularly been doing more hours than she should. We were on a Teams call and I asked a question that clearly annoyed her - she shared her screen and was typing furiously saying she’d already told me this and then said that she hates to tell me this but I have no common sense. I was taken back by this, didn’t know what to say so kept quiet. It really upset me. After the call ended I burst into tears. I’ve worked with her for a number of years now and she’s never been so rude before. I heard from a colleague that she knew she’d upset me- she had told my colleague what she’d said to me. She hasn’t mentioned it since and she sent a text over the weekend as if nothing had happened. I replied as normal too and then wished I hadn’t. I felt utterly useless and still do really. Thing is she’s always doing U turns and it’s hard to know what I’m doing a lot of time so I like to clarify. Even if she had already told me the information, I still don’t think I deserved that reaction. I know I either need to let it go or try and find another job.

OP posts:
Rainbowdottie · 12/04/2026 20:38

If Sunday blues are regular and becoming a real thing, then why not look for a different job.

if however it’s just a bad week with a manager and ordinarily it’s an ok job that you quite like, then that’s a different matter.

i think if it bothers you long after the event, then maybe you do need to chat to her about it. By knowing that she’s upset you, she either choosing to ignore it or overcome it herself by just moving on….and the text over the weekend was testing the water with where you are.

personally I’ve never been comfortable with presents etc at work and I certainly wouldn’t appreciate texts out of with but maybe that’s personal thing and the sector I worked in.

Fontet · 12/04/2026 20:43

You should address it at some point tomorrow.

NoisyMonster678 · 12/04/2026 22:00

You have a few choices here OP. You can either...

  1. Say nothing and wait to see how your manager treats you from now on

  2. Write an email to her, explaining the way she made you feel after her outburst.

  3. Get HR involved by launching an harassment complaint. Include full details like you have in your post.

  4. Launch a complaint with Acas.

Your manager has harassed you, she is mean and nasty. Her actions have had a detrimental effect on your confidence, and made you unsure about your work to the point that you are dreading going back in..

How on earth does your manager hope to get the best out of you if she does not have the decency to treat you with kindness?

Bear in mind if you choose not to say anything to her, it may happen again and this is where I definatly advise you get some help from an outside organisation, Acas or a union.

There is a massive powere imbalance between managers and employees so if you choose to say nothing remember, she could start on you again in which it would be bullying as you could prove you are being targetted so log it, dates, times and details.

Fallon79 · 13/04/2026 07:01

Thanks you for the replies. Feeling sick this morning 😩

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