I have an ongoing cardiac health issue which is having an impact on my day to day life, such as not being able to see my friends as often as I’d like. I will require surgery at some point. I would therefore like to share some information regarding this with them, so that they understand and don’t take my absence and occasional radio silence personally.
But I don’t want to share my exact diagnosis or details of my healthcare, simply because I find it really stressful when people try to help. I’ve shared this with a couple of people so far and it has invited a lot of advice and unhelpful responses. They will say they know someone who had what I have and they are just fine and that surgery was a piece of cake so I have nothing to worry about/share unsolicited and often unhelpful advice based on partial information, and so on. It’s as if having known someone with any type of heart disease has turned them into an expert, who knows far more than I do.
I know people mean well and are trying to put things into perspective for me, and I’m sure I’ve made some of these mistakes myself in the past, but it often feels like people are making light of what I’m going through and being dismissive of my situation when I do share my diagnosis. Recently I’ve had people google things and come back to me with all sorts of inaccurate advice, or just generally dismiss my concerns and symptoms.
Would it be unreasonable to tell people that I have unspecified but somewhat serious health issues which are forcing me to make adjustments to my day to day life, but that I won’t be sharing the exact diagnosis? This sounds so obnoxious even just typing it out here. Do I either say nothing, or be fully open?
Any advice on what has worked for others would be appreciated.
(feeling particularly exasperated as dh shared my diagnosis with his mother after I specifically asked him to wait - he didn’t even get my diagnosis right and came back with inaccurate info and a bunch of unhelpful anecdotes)