Should I go to the CSA?

[Stripes84]

Long story short, my DC was going to their fathers house 3 nights a week and with me 4. This was a longstanding arrangement which in the last year has changed with DC saying they only want one home and that they're happy to visit other house but not stay. Which is what has been happening. Child's father not happy with this, but has finally accepted its what happens as kids get older and I was happy with the change as long as DC was happy etc.

I would say my ex has been reluctant to pay any maintenance but in fact he has been positively hostile about it,staying that its not his choice to not have DC come and stay and as such he won't be paying me anything in support of DCs upbringing. I can manage and don't technically "need" the money, but I am worried about future costs of things like DC going to uni and that Dad is going to say he's not supporting financially etc. I know it sounds like a no brainer to go to the CSA but I'm worried about his response/reaction ie if hes going to be absolutely vile about it and whether I need the hassle or not.

YABU - go to the CSA and seek maintenance
YANBU - just leave it.

I think it depends on the number and age of your dc. If it's one child and she's 17, I'm not sure I would as the amount of money is unlikely to be worth the souring of the relationship and the hassle. But if she's 13, then probably I would - its an expensive old world out there - and Id save it for her future.

Have you looked at the CSA calculator and done your sums? What sort of figures are you talking about giving away (because that's what you'd be doing if you don't go to them)?

Thank you for replying. Yes, I've done the calculator. It would be around £375 a month. Which I would likely put in a savings account fot DC for if/when they go to uni. There's around 3 years until then.

So that's 13k, give or take. Not an insignificant sum to walk away from. Definitely worth thinking about unless he's very abusive.

I'd probably just go to CSA. It's pretty significant amount over time and even if you put half of it away it's a big chunk toward her potential uni costs.

Is he really going to take you to court if your child is 14/15ish...? Presumably your daughter still sees him regularly?

It depends. If they are still visiting often, he provides for them in other ways like food and clothes and they are only sleeping over at yours more often, then I would not.