To ask how you’re affording everything right now?

[Niftywigglesheep]

We’re two full time workers, 2 kids. We have a level of income per month on which we’ve based our budget on. However I’m unsure how everyone’s managing the increasing cost of life right now.

For example- our mortgage has gone up, our food shop, our petrol etc the cost of just basic living. We think we’re about £1000 less in disposable income each month which is huge due to the increased living costs .

Our salaries have not gone up in line with the increased costs so our normal budget for living like swimming lessons,
clothes etc is being really squeezed.

I find it really depressing- we both work full time, busy with being parents and we really don’t have much to show for it anymore and a bit sad that we work so hard with little to show and stress.

I feel like we absolutely should be able to buy ice creams on days out, go on holidays, not think about buying school uniform or paying for football etc but we really do and it’s horrible.

How’s everyone else dealing with it?

Absolutely- we didn’t push ourselves . We are a family of 4 in a 3 bed semi (with one of those rooms one being a box room) and just lounge and then kitchen area. 1 bathroom no utility or downstairs toilet. But it cost what it costs. The person before us got it at 5 times cheaper!

I now have a car on finance as of a few months ago. I owned by car before and it was 11 years old and the cost was extortionate each year when things went wrong. It was a loss leader in my eyes - it’s cheaper me paying for a monthly car on finance than my yearly costs I was having to pay to get it though it’s MOT. I’m glad I’ve moved to
a newer finance car without the stress hanging over me. I would happily have an older car I owned if it worked and didn’t cost me every year .

£400 a month more on fuel? How long is his journey? The average car holds about 60 lites, large SUVs closer to 90. It is costing around £14 more to fill up an average car with petrol at current prices. Approx £25 more to fill a diesel car. Is he filling up several times a week?

90 litres of diesel at approx £1.36 a litre previously would have cost £122.40 to fill a large car. It is now approx £1.91 a litre so £171.90 for 90 litres. Difference is £51.50. Is he filling a large SUV twice a week, he must be as this is the only at he’s spending an extra £400 a month on fuel.

Maybe it’s time to get a more economical car?

I guess if you’ve grown up with holidays to Florida and piano lessons then you have certain lifestyle expectations and as someone else said, the problem is expectations versus reality and I expect it’s a shock.

I grew up without money and then got myself into debt in my 20s, got myself out of it and the frugal ways have just stuck with me now. So although I earn decent money, I save most of it - but I don’t have children or high lifestyle expectations so it’s easier.

@Niftywigglesheep there is an odd narrative that anyone young and struggling is feckless 🤷🏻‍♀️

I live in the north, which I think makes life a lot more affordable. It’s not just about house size, it’s about where you choose to live. Some parts of the country are extortionate, and if you don’t have the salary to match, then you’re going to struggle.

I also don’t drive and mostly wfh, so have no fuel/commute costs.

What I find infuriating is my NDN and her partner do not work neither of them( fir over 6 years) They are in a private rental but paid for by benefits. They have the newest phones, always posting about about having nice steak dinners etc, tattoos Holidays. Now with the 2 child cap being lifted postingvabout how they will not be £610 a month better off so are booking a holiday to Disney land Florida. I'm disgusted, I work as does my husband and we can just about manage one holiday abroad s year with all the bills/ mortgage going up. It'll be different in about 5 years as our mortgage will be paid off and I have to keep telling myself that to stop screaming at this unfairness

@Clychaugoggive yourself some credit. Sounds like you’ve made some sacrifices along the way and wasn’t just pure luck.

When I food shop I always look at the offers, use a lot of discounts from Lidl eg with the free veg I get the big bag of potatoes. Mainly own brand everything, I think the only thing we get branded is Branston beans.
I don't buy myself any clothes. Kids clothes the majority are from Vinted. Also got toiletries from Vinted.
I use BLC for discounts for days out and for gifts. Use Klarna for any big purchases to spread the cost.
Both our cars are really old so just running them into the ground!

@iamnotalemon but a lot is pure luck. My parents 2m house that cost 40k in the 80s doesn’t mean they sacrificed more than someone who hasn’t seen anything like the equity growth. It was luck their part of London went through extreme gentrification

I get your point and I agree with you, but my comment about luck was directed to a PP about her circumstances, not the general state of the property market.

Or time to move a normal commute from DH work?

Working less to get more help from UC. There's a balance between having all your help wiped out and still getting it.

You are not allowed to say that on Mumsnet.

@iamnotalemon well you told the poster it was not just luck as she claimed, I was just agreeing with her.

And my parents actually had one of those interest only high LTV mortgages for some time so more pure luck that the didn’t lose the house in subsequent recessions.

Yes I did say that but it sounds like she has made sacrifices about the area she lives in and lifestyle choices - that was what I meant when I said it wasn’t just luck. Perhaps buying at the ‘right time’ is lucky but I wasn’t talking about that specifically.

Abusive marriage and not long back on feet before having to leave work for a period due to caring for a dying parent, on top of undiagnosed ADHD which doesn't help my
money management skills 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Pension currently on hold while I help DD through uni.

Mortgage is only 15% LTV so moving will make all the difference but despite only needing half my current mortgage it's difficult to tie up the logistics of finances and work when you're planning a 200+ mile move.

Only way to keep track is by using cash. withdraw a certain amount each week and make it last. when you have to hand over hard cash at the till it means you know exactly how much you have spent and makes you question if you actually need something or can afford it. Whatever cash you have left at the end of the week either goes in the emergency, Christmas or treat jar or split between all 3 jars. You will be shocked at what you can do without and how much you can save.

A secret life of crime

One full time above average (DH) and one part time wage (Me). I've been diagnosed with a terminal condition so at some point I'll need to give up my job. At the moment we are still saving but disposable income definitely has been hit. We don't eat out or have takeaways and have a ten year old car paid off whilst we both WFH. I've recently switched the water to a meter which I think is saving us money, early days though. We already limit the amount of meat we eat, I'll be looking at cutting that back further soon. We Batch a lot and think of portion sizes. No credit cards or things on finance. I don't think we live frugally but I'd say we do live sensibly.

Honestly, we have lucked out with the expensive things, and with everything else we just don’t spend that much. Pure luck. I really feel for people who are finding it difficult.

The big expenses are large mortgage (fixed), lease car (electric), and school fees (just finished).

We don’t holiday abroad, don’t eat out or have takeaways, food shop is from Lidl/Aldi with most meals cooked from scratch, our idea of a good day out is a walk at the beach occasionally followed by fish and chips. I love being in our nice home with a cup of tea and a book from the library. I enjoy gardening but swap plants with friends and neighbours. Exercise is walking or home workouts. Etc.

@Niftywigglesheep sorry it is so tough for you. Childcare costs in particular are such a huge amount but it is only for a few years (tho then there is uni! but a gap is there between the two).

This struck me tho DH drives to work and his petrol has cost £400 more on this last month alone

How far is his commute? What kind of car is this?? How much was he spending before? Petrol has gone up about 25% over the last month which I agree is a lot, but that would see him spending £1600 pm at the start of the year, and £2000 pm now. That can't be right?

I have a longish commute of about 30 miles each way and I spend (currently, with the higher prices) about £180 a month. That's plenty, for sure, but not your kind of figures. I see others have asked the same question.

Where is the extra £1000 pm going? We are four adults and yes, I spend more on food than I did 2-3 years ago – but from about £400 pm to maybe £550. Utilities and mortgage rate have gone up but surely not by that kind of figure?

Anyway to offer some advice/solidarity, we take packed lunches or leftovers, I use the library far more than buying books as I used to, only eat out a very few times a year (birthdays basically) and go to the theatre with DD who qualifies for a £10 ticket in a lot of places.

I also work in a second job (tutoring, a bit sporadic but the ££ is good) and buy clothes on Vinted for the most part.

Also our cars are paid for outright – mine is almost eight years old and I look after it – inc budget for services and tyres and MoT test; much much cheaper than my colleague who pays £500 pm for theirs.

They were saying on times radio the other day that food costs might go up 80% because of the fuel crisis. I don't know if this is realistic. It's difficult affording food as it is now.

It just depresses me when I compare our lifestyle with what I grew up with. We both work. Unfortunately was stupid enough to take out both an undergraduate and postgraduate loan. So immediately £500 a month worse off than someone who didn't. We YNAB, so track every pound. Every month something goes up and we need to rebalance, cut something here, reduce something there. We didn't overstretch ourselves for our mortgage and own an old car outright.
Yes, life isn't a struggle. It's still an immensely privileged life. But when I was a child only my dad worked. His sole income would be comparative to our household income now. Parents owned a bigger house, went on a long foreign holiday a year, plenty of weekend trips. My dad was obsessed with cars so had 2-3 at a time plus a motorbike. Private school for me. I can't believe how they afforded it all. That sort of lifestyle seems insanely far away now.
I often compare it to buying something that's sufficient but seems like bad value for money if that makes sense. We work harder, are more educated, more specialised in our skill, and yet it just doesn't quite get there.

What you are experiencing is the huge hit on living standards which have been declining for years in the UK. This is why the younger generation isn't working as much, there literally isn't any point anymore. Can't go on, unless there's more automation of jobs and universal basic income