To expect teachers to take bullying seriously at the age of 6??

[bosslady]

My daughter was hysterical this morning ,saying she didnt want to go to school.

When I questioned her it was because 2 girls in her class have been being mean to her, they are all 6 years old and I know kids can be cruel but I have had this with my dd since reception, I had to go and talk to the teacher about it.

My dd loves school and is really unhappy but every time I tell the teacher about it they just respond with " oh dear we will keep an eye on it". Which they clearly dont as its the same girl being nasty to dd.

I do not know what to do for the best on one hand I have brought my dd up to be nice and not mean to others but I now feel like saying if they are nasty to you be nasty back, The thing is my dd is quite sensitive but has not got it in her to stick up for herself.

Any suggestion my dh is threating to speak to the girls mother if school dont do something about it, which I dont want as its me that still has to go in the playground everyday not him.

I think the teachers have a responsibilty to our children when we are not there to make sure that they are safe and happy and this is not the case here!!!

I have had this recently and found that the best way to get action was to write to the school setting out exactly what you have been told has been happening, what has been said etc. My dd's teacher was so grateful as she said she had something concrete to work on and she made sure all other teachers were aware of the problem etc.

I must say the school were fab at stamping on it - but we are still moving dd as she is like me - she doesn't forget easily !

I would advise you not to speak to the poarents - it will just become a row between you - let the school deal with it - it is their problem on school time.

Good luck

yanbu - have you just spoken to teacher or the headteacher? If not hte head I'd speak to them. Also ask to see a copy of schools anti bullying policy too as this may give you some more help on questioning how they are tackling this.

Think its a good point to talk to dd about sticking up for herself - there is a difference between that and being nasty.

can see why dh is angry but not sure that'd help things.

definitely write a letter my ds was bullied in year 1 and it was only when I wrote a letter that the school took it seriously

I was very careful to write that all of the things were alleged and that I only had my ds's word for it
it was immediately sorted out when I wrote and that was after speaking to the class teacher 4 times

I dont think it helps that he was bullied all through school so brings back some memories that he would rather forget.

Thanks for that I dont want to talk to the parents as I know it will end up in a row on the other hand though if it was my dd being nasty I would want to be told so I could talk to her about it. What makes me angry is that the parents never find out whats been going on so they are oblivious!!

I am sure will keep and eye on it, it's difficult at this age as 6 year olds don't realise who much they can upset others. I think maybe the teacher could have a general class talk about being kind to others.

TBH - You need to focus on teaching her different ways to deal with the problem without her having to be 'mean' back. IYSWIM

The thing is that 6 yr old girls do whinge about each other - and teachers find it hard to see the difference between normal tiffs and whinges and actual bulying !

My dd had said to her teacher that her bullies were "being mean" to her many times - but couldn't find the right words to explian how mean ! I found out because her best friend was very upset and worried about it and told her mum, who rang me - I then wrote in saying that "I have been told by another mum that x has been doing this and that, and although my dd has not explicity said so , I would define this as bullying behaviour and would lkike you to address it appropriately please".

After I wrote in the girls parents were called in to school and told exactly what their dd had been doing - they were horrified and made her write my dd a card to say sorry ! Teachers also did a lot of talks about being kind to people and a special assemebly about not being mean to people who are different ! (not that dd is different !)

I do see what you mean Love2bake. I have told her to go and play with someone else but she says that they all play with this girl. There are only 10 girls in her class and they split the kids who have sandwiches and the ones who have hot meals so there may only be 3 or 4 of them to play with.

I have had this girl to play once and i WOULD NEVER have her again I could see then she is very bossy and manipulitave and has to have her own way all the time, I have seen the way she speaks to her mum and gets away with it, so I dont think that it helps when she obviously gets her own way all the time.

I understand where your coming from, and I know it feels swful when your child doesn't want to go to school.

Girls tend to work through it in the end - i hope your DS does soon

I am going to see how she gets on today and into next week and I might suggest an assembly or a class talk to the teacher.

Those class talks are a great idea, as ALL the kids know what's expected and no-one feels like their being picked on.

I agree but I dont want the teachers to think I am trying to tell them how to do their jobs because overall they work very hard and do a good job as far as i am concerned its just this is a sticking point!