How to get out of this little funk ?

[Artyarthurrr11ii]

Mum to 4yo and 2yo. DH has a new contract and has took a lot on so is working all sorts of hours and (he wfh fully in our office, and shows me his work leaves his laptop out unlocked etc before any comments that he's having an affair lol)

I feel a bit like groundhog day. I have my days off with the kids (I'm part time) then my work days. Repeat.

Potty training youngest so this is day 4 of being stuck in so maybe dont feel great

But I just feel so drained. Eldest is a really early riser always half 5 or before. Feel like im doing everything alone

Guilt when I do housework around them or jobs but I have to because it's only me doing it as DH is always bloody working and is very him focused. Always what he needs to do his needs etc he is selfish

I'm aware this is probably 75% of it but I just want to give my kjds the best childhood. I'm in a state of burnout and so exhausted I feel like im plodding along not being this amazing mum they deserve

You are not being U. You are working two jobs to his one. If he didn’t have you he’d have to find another way to keep the house clean, cook and look after the kids half time.

Read Fair Play by Eve Rodesky and then see if he will too. it’s an easy and quick read/listen. It includes a system for sharing things fairly.

1. Your DH needs to be doing his share of the household work. He needs to take his turns planning & cooking meals, laundry etc Sit him down and get a plan around that - now.
2. You need to carve some time for yourself. Something you go and do while DH manages the kids - the gym, a walk, cinema with a friend - ANYTHING that isn’t child related, work related or house related! Maybe it’s as simple as 2 mornings a week he gets up and deals with the children while you go out for an hour. Or a couple of evenings a week when he feeds, puts them to bed while you get out of the house.

You aren’t the unpaid help. If you can afford it I HIGHLY recommend a once a week cleaner too.

Yeah it's really weighing me down now and I feel like the kids just see me as boring mum who can play a little but does housework and is a boring nag cos I have to do everything include teaching discipline etc

Daddy's Mr fun

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed because I'm trying to do everything right be the best mum but I'm just so exhausted

Also a little moan but its so random I dont know how but my son wakes up extra early somehow everytimr I'm on my period? So I'm extra shattered. That's so random but I noticed that pattern 🤦‍♀️😂

I was also diagnosed with adhd the start of this year so focus is tough for me anyway. I didn't want to medicate but I'm considering the stimulants maybe that'll help the burnout??

What is your DH doing?

WFH so no commute, I can't imagine he needs to work 7-7 but even so he is there in the morning for the early riser and there at bedtimes to do a share.

Are DC in nursery at all? Can they do more hours to allow your I have a break.

I WFH and manage to do the laundry is this something your DH can do?

Dc in nursery the 3 days I work and I wfh with 1 office day but I find myself on wfh rushing around doing jobs whilst trying to be present in work it's a tough balance

He literally is all himself. Takes his dinner to go on a run or gym. Walks our dogs so he helps with the dogs obviously then we take kids nursrry then he's online. Comes in about 6 so sees the kids 1.5 hours before I take them up and then logs on another hour or two

So I get hes exhausted and working so much and getting as much out of this contract and it benefits us as it helps our finances but just tough doing everything all me it feels