I’ve tried to give some background but it’s a bit long sorry. I have ASC and properly over analyse my responses.
So we have a neighbour who has fallen out with pretty much everyone since the day we all moved in.
It’s a new build and each set of houses are semi detached with the next and you share a house and or a garage with another.
We all moved in on the same day. She is single divorced and late 50s, great we thought and we were looking forward to meeting her. Our first impression wasn’t good as she was screaming at her delivery drivers and an adult daughter who we haven’t really seen since, we thought ok maybe she is just stressed.
The front doors are next to each other and a small planted shared garden with an imaginary ‘boundary down the middle’ which is on our deeds in line with the house. There was really nice planting in it. The rules said it had to stay planted with no changes out the front for 5 years. Within 6 months she had ripped up all the planting on ‘her side’ and replaced it with stones and then weeds grew up and through them. She left the plants on our side so it looks a bit odd but whatever. Huge weeds grew through her side and so now she has placed used pots of palms, spiky plants in pots etc right down the boundary line with some of the pots slightly on our side but most pots are right up to a low wooden boundary fence she put it and lots of the plants overlapping our side or their leaves, because they are large eg palm tree is 6 ft high and three branches on our side the leaves are like 1-2 foot on our side. We haven’t done anything as she has been involved in huge enormous rows with others anything from seeing her screaming at others including Royal Mail delivery drivers and people she has engaged to do work on her property. She had a patio put in and started shouting at them and they all left telling her it wasn’t worth the grief. It was left for 4 months and then someone else finished it.
We did try briefly getting to know her but she’s just so miserable and aggressive that we just leave well alone now. She is known on the estate for just being completely angry at the world. In my mind, live and let live and leave her be.
In the back garden the fence down the garden between the two houses is completely our property and she has one fence at the bottom which belong her and overlooks a parking area. She has planted 15-20 ft bamboo in pots all the way along both fences literally at least 50 pots, it started as 10 and it just keeps multiplying there is probably 35 along the bottom fence and about 15 between her and us on her side. It is in pots but it is huge and high. I believe as it is in pots bamboo is relatively safe from spreading but we are thinking of sending her a letter asking her to keep an eye on the roots for spreading and making sure they are trimmed height wise. After every wind (we have strong SW winds here) the bamboo is often tilted over our fence literally outside our bedroom window.
DH and I are very pick your battles people and like to get on with everyone. Our neighbour is like a tinder box - literally if a delivery driver knocks she can be ok fine or can be very unpleasant. She shares a garage with the neighbour on her other side and did lots of work to it without permission internally I think she cut a hole in the roof of the garage and stuff I don’t fully know etc and lost her shit when they complained and they now don’t speak at all.
I don’t mind assertiveness but in this case a letter might be better. DH is happy with whatever but I think maybe moving her pots slightly more over her side is what is needed on the front. On the back do we just send a letter asking her to keep her bamboo in check and ensure it doesn’t spread under our fence etc DH and I are now thinking a letter might make the point and then we have a record on what we sent to her in case it does spread we have proof we asked her to ensure it was maintained ?
Anyone got anything similiar they have dealt with. It doesn’t matter if we try to talk to her or send a letter I believe the response will be her banging on our door - she confrontational. When she did the front, DH and I came back to it all changed (low fence down the middle) and stuff and we said to each other - it’s all been ripped out (not loudly or aggressively) and she leant out of her upstairs window yelling ‘ have you got a problem? Because if you have I will make it worse… ‘ and we refused to shout back and just said whatever and didn’t get into it.
so talk to her? Umm not sure about that
letter? Better option
ignore and monitor
I think they are the options.